Taking Command Book 1 (Kylux) (#Wattys2016)

Chapter Thirty Two: Rebuke

Kylo PoV

I lay in bed, holding back an outward demonstration of rage and grief. I wanted to go and hide in a corner and cry, but at the same time kill someone. I hated myself and I hated everyone around me.

When we had returned, both Hux and I were in good spirits. We ha spent the ride home talking, flirting, and just a bit of kissing and cuddling. Not exactly fearsome, but everyone has a private life. That had been mine.

We had gone to the Supreme Leader together to announce our findings. He was pleased with us. But somehow, through the galaxy, he had sensed what had happened between Hux and I. He had been livid. He had told us that for the 'good of the First Order' we had to stop. We were apparently risking everything on a relationship that if it went south, most likely, so would the Order, given that we helmed it.

I had disagreed with him, but Snoke struck both of us down verbally. He threatened to personally come and kill Hux if that is what it would take to end our relationship. I knew he was not bluffing. He saw me as his apprentice, and I viewed him as my master. He would be good for his word, and Hux's death would be just justified discipline to him.

Hux and I had gone our separate ways wordlessly. I could sense his fear and his pain as we separated. I myself felt similar emotions along with my grief. I could not imagine Hux dying. I had not even known him that long, but nonetheless, he had become a large part of my life, and I did not know entirely how.

I wished that we had done a better job at disguising our emotions, but even as I thought that, I knew, deep down, Snoke would sense it. He always did. He had sensed my inner darkness and potential to fulfill Vader's legacy while I was but a boy. Deducting Hux and I's emotions would be nothing.

I heard a knock at the door. I sat up and walked to the door, not bothering to put my mask on. It was Hux at the door.

"Kylo. We need to talk." Hux shoved his way in and sat on my bed.

"What is there to say? You know we can't do this. Snoke will kill you! I can't let that happen." I joined him and leaned my head on his shoulder, despite my better judgment.

"It would be worth it to spend those final days with you. I have never felt loved the way I have in the past day or two. I never got that as a child with a severe and stern father. He was disciplined and rigid, a light back into an era of stone cold officers. I guess I take after him a little." Hux chuckled ruefully. "You were the first person to act like I mattered as more than an asset or a soldier."

"I've always known love," I said. "I grew up surrounded in it, and yet, it was almost too much. I felt a call to greater things, I had to kill the sentiment inside of me to get there, but you've resurrected it." I kissed him gently. "I need to put it in the grave again. I will not be the cause of your death, I refuse." I steeled myself up for it.

"Absolutely not. I will not let you sacrifice love, and I will not force myself to do that either. I don't want to live without it, and neither do you. If I die, I will die happy. If Snoke comes, we can always make a tactical retreat. We could flee where no one would find us." Hux's gaze was intense, his eyes burning furiously.

"He's a Sith. He could always find us," I replied, the thought was disheartening.

"We will live our lives running and in love then. Better that than sedentary and loveless. We are the most powerful people on this Base. It will take more than a rebuke to hinder us." He kissed me, hard and long, lips locked against mine, his tongue moving up and down my teeth and tongue. He put his arms around me as if it was the last time he would see me. "I'm not leaving again."

"Then neither will I," I replied, hugging him close. "Want to sleep here?" I asked him.

"Why not." He stripped down to his pants, discarding his military top and greatcoat. I freed myself of my cloak and robes and we lay under the covers, in the dark, shirtless. We would find a way to make it. I had to hope, an odd thing for someone aspiring to Darth Vader, but perhaps I could afford to be different.