The Return (Book 2 of It's Not Forever) COMPLETE

Chapter 7

    I drop the dishes off in the kitchen before going straight to the training hall. Training has always helped in fixing my problems, well atleast distracting me from them. I slip off my shoes and pull my headphones up over my ears for some musical motivation. Outside sounds serve as further distractions anyway. My mind eases into the raging music and my body moves in the rhythm as I attack the dummies scattered around the room. As my fists connect with them all of my thoughts disappear and the room fades away. I don't know what I was so concerned over. It doesn't matter what Shikamaru thinks, it's not his life. I shouldn't be wondering if I like someone, that's not how it works. It just happens. The kiss may not have meant anything because I was drunk. Simple, right? I'm just not going to be concerned about it. I don't need a relationship to be happy, I can handle it on my own. I'm so smart. Not smart enough to escape my father when I needed to though. Or smart enough to escape the Akatsuki the first time. I ran away from my best friend and the closest place I had to a home. I'm pathetic. I should go back, I'm wasting time here in Suna avoiding my life. I'm interrupting Gaara's work as the Kazekage as well. Tensions are high between the villages, like something bad is coming, and I'm distracting him from that because I had a breakdown. I need to leave. I'm so stupid. I feel myself get tossed backward onto the mat and jolt back to focus. Kankuro is standing in front of me with an odd expression on his face. What's with men and their odd expressions?
"What?" I ask, sitting up.
"I heard yelling and I come in to find you decimating the training dummies and bleeding heavily. I told you to stop but you weren't reacting at all so I knocked you over."
"Bleeding-?" I look down to find my hands covered in cuts and bruises and coated in blood.
I realize that I'm breathing heavily and feel exhausted already.
"Oh, uh, thank you. I'm going to clean myself up."
He holds out a hand and I take it, still not trusting of the darkly clad pervert. I look around the training hall to find a majority of the dummies splintered into nothing. Oops.
After I shower and bandage my hands I leave the house for a while to sit in my favorite spot in the village besides the rooftop. I'd found a small oasis on the outskirts of the village and the water is so clean it's completely see through and it's just a gorgeous area. There's even a patch of grass around it with a tree just big enough to cast a bit of shade. I settle down underneath the tree and let my feet dangle in the water. I guess I had a meltdown back there, I really need to get my emotions in check. I used to not be like this, I was able to hold back most everything and look happy, now it all just explodes out of me. I'm getting weaker and I don't like it. I am right on some points though, I do need to go back to Konoha and let Gaara work in peace. Maybe I shouldn't have come here, but what if it was the right thing to do? I won't know until I leave. I lay back for a while longer, watching the clouds drift across the sky in peace. I finally decide to leave around sunset and head back to the house since Gaara should be home by the time I arrive.
Gaara is sitting on my bed when I walk in and his eyes immediately stop at my hands. I subtly interlock them behind my back and ask what he was doing in my room. He tells me that Kankuro told him about my meltdown in the training hall and that I'd left the house afterward. I grin guiltily and sit beside him on the edge of the bed. I tell him that I had a lot on my mind and worked out the frustration with training then went out to clear my head. He sighs and picks up one of my hands to inspect it. I watch as he carefully unwinds the bandages. The blood has dried and the cuts are trying to heal, but it still looks pretty bad. He pulls out fresh bandages from my bedside table and rewraps them. I rest my head on his shoulder and sigh.
"I don't know if I should've come here." I mutter quietly.
"Why?"
"I was hiding from everything and acting like a child. I don't belong here just as I don't belong in Konoha. I'm hindering your work by being here. I need to apologize to Shikamaru atleast. I need to figure out what I want to do with my life. You're Kazekage, Shikamaru's doing something with his life, I'm doing nothing."
"You do not hinder me and you're not acting like a child. Do whatever you need to do, Suna will always welcome you here. I need to tell you something."
His tone at the end draws my gaze to his.
"The kage are meeting in the Land of Iron. I am taking two guards with me, one is Temari. Will you join me?"
"What is it about? It's strange to have all of you meeting at once."
"It's about Sasuke and the Akatsuki. There may be a war coming." I study his face and notice the tension and exhaustion building up. Being Kazekage has really worked against him. He's a wonderful leader though.
"Of course I'll go. Can't have you getting killed or anything."
"Thank you. We'll be leaving in the morning."
Gaara and I spend the rest of the evening after dinner discussing what will be happening at the summit and what I'm going to do afterward, which I honestly have no idea. We both try to sleep but can't, so we end up sitting on the rooftop again, talking and looking at the moon. Just before dawn movement to my right down the road catches my vision. It's a girl riding on a large fan. My heart hurts slightly at the sight of my old friend and I'm not sure whether it's because we no longer talk or if it's because of Shikamaru. Regardless, I inform Gaara and we jump off the roof to meet her. When we land she smiles lightly at both of us and hugs Gaara, something I never thought I'd see her do. She turns to me and the awkward air is palpable. Tension isn't the right word to describe it it's just we don't really know what to do toward each other. In the end we just nod at each other and follow Gaara inside. He leaves a moment later to retrieve something from the office, leaving the two of us alone in the kitchen. Unable to bear the silence any longer, I mutter that I'm going to gather my things and leave the room. After this I plan on returning to Konoha and I really only have a bag's worth of items to take with me. I meet up with Gaara and Temari in the kitchen a few minutes later and we tell Kankuro goodbye before leaving the village. Gaara is between us, for safety reasons obviously, but I'm honestly thankful for the separation between Temari and myself. I'm not sure what I would end up saying to her if we were alone for too long. I've gotten rather unpredictable lately. I just hope this mission goes smoothly and we can return without any issues.

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