The Return (Book 2 of It's Not Forever) COMPLETE

Chapter 23

    When Inojin goes to sleep, Gaara and I head back to the apartment for the night. Gaara offered for us to stay somewhere else if I wasn't comfortable staying there, but it would've been a waste since the apartment is there already. I spend an hour dusting everything and I change out the sheets to a clean set while he goes to get food and stuff for the house. His reasoning for me staying behind is to not overwork myself and I begrudgingly agree. I have moved a lot more in the past two days than I have in a while and I can feel the strain on my legs. After I finish cleaning, he still hasn't returned, so I sit on the floor where I can see both of the living room walls with the pictures on them and sigh. Things were so much simpler back then. We're so young but now veterans of a war that we almost lost. Back then the Chunin exams were a major thing, now it seems like it was just a walk in the park. We all look and act older than we are, things have changed drastically. I'm just glad that Ino, Shikamaru, Temari, Gaara and I are still the same, though some have multiplied. Though I've never been one to really care about relationships, love, marriage, and babies, I am slightly jealous that everyone has their own going for them. I am with Gaara and we love each other that much is easy to tell, but getting married this soon would be ridiculous, right? I don't want us to marry and something happen between us. I don't want anything to happen to us at all. Why am I even thinking of bad things like this? I huff in frustration and lay back on the floor. I look up as the door opens again and I hear him ask if I'm okay.
"Yeah, I just decided to lay on the floor. I'm fine."
He goes into the kitchen and puts the groceries away before coming back into the living room and laying down next to me.
"What are you thinking about?" He asks as I move to lay my head on his chest.
"How much things have changed and stuff like that."
"And stuff?" He prods.
"I don't know, it's just strange that everyone has moved on and gotten married or started families already and I haven't. I've never cared about things like this either so it's weirder."
He's silent for a while before speaking again. "Do you really feel like you want these things, or do you think it is because it's what everyone else is doing?"
I think about it for a moment while his hand runs through my hair.
"I would like a family and everything but at the same time, I don't know if I am ready for it. I still want to be a ninja and if I had children, I would have to give that up. I can't even be a ninja right now."
"You wouldn't have to give up being a ninja if you have children."
"I wouldn't want to be away from my kids too long, so I'd probably end up quitting being a ninja."
"Then you could take missions closer to home."
"You're right. I didn't even think of that, but that would still be a while away. I'm not married yet and not in a position to get married any time soon."
"Then don't worry so much. When it happens, it happens. Now, can we get off of the floor?"
I nod and stand up with his help. I prepare a light dinner for ourselves then we spend the rest of the night curled up on my bed together.
The next morning I wake up to find Gaara gone with a note on the dresser that he'd gone to speak with Kakashi and would return later on today. I convince myself to get out of bed and take a shower before dressing in one of my old outfits. To my surprise, they're only slightly baggy on me, but are bearable to wear. I braid back my bangs and loosely tie them back. I put both of my forehead protectors on my left thigh and slide on a pair of shoes. I leave a note for him that I went out for a bit and would return shortly. I leave the apartment and walk to the flower field to try something. I know that the therapist said not to really try doing jutsu for a while, but I want to know if I can even muster summoning the power. I settle down in the field and lift a hand to send out a sound pulse like I used to. Nothing happens and I scowl. I try again and again only to fail until it reaches the point that I have tears of frustration building up in my eyes. I rest my head in my hands and force myself to calm down before getting an idea. Sakura is supposed to be one of the best medical nin in the whole village, having studied under Tsunade. If anyone could know if I'll ever be able to do jutsu again, it'd be her. I get up and head back into the village, stopping by Ino's to find out where Sakura lives now.
I knock on the door of a quaint little house and the door opens to reveal the pink haired girl I'd never really gotten along with holding a little girl who looked very much like Sasuke. Sakura stares at me for a minute until the girl pulling on her hair snaps her out of it. I'm rather tired of everyone staring at me lately. I know that I'm undead and all but still. She moves aside and lets me in and offers a drink before asking what I wanted.
"I need your help. It's nothing dangerous, I just have to know. I need you to look me over and let me know if my abilities will ever come back. As of right now I can't even summon a ball of sound in my hands. Tell me if I'll ever be a ninja again."
She nods and takes Sarada into another room for her nap before coming back into the kitchen and asks me to stand. She pokes and prods me, asks questions, asks me to try doing this and that, then runs her chakra infused hands over my arms and chest. Her brow furrows and I don't think I want to know what her answer is going to be.
"Honestly, with the way it is looking, your chakra still exists, but it seems to be like Lee's. He has chakra but can't manipulate it. It could always change at any time, but for now if you were to become an active ninja again, you would most likely have to solely rely on Taijutsu. I'd say you have maybe a 5 percent chance of having your chakra manipulation return."
I feel my heart shatter and a knot in my stomach.
"So... Basically, I'm worthless as a ninja?"
"No, you're not worthless. Lee is a phenomenal ninja and only uses Taijutsu. You just have to work hard. If it's any help, I looked over your muscles as well, they're solid enough now that you can start training and such again. Just don't overwork yourself."
"Thank you Sakura. I'll let you get back to whatever you were doing. I'll see you around."
She walks me out and I head back into the village while a lump grows in my throat.

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