sunshine ☆彡 seokmin

two

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            The next day at school feels odd. My eyes don't feel as hooded as they usually do. Sure, I have no friends or have barely met anyone from my large school, but humanity is everywhere. I just never saw it.

To say that old man, girl, woman, little boy, and three boys didn't change my life is a lie. I'm quite cynical but because of them, I feel that I can know that there are people like them in this world. I just didn't want to face the fact because of all the crap I go through.

I greet the principal today and even though he ignores me, I still have a smile on my face. My heart is still pumping, no?

Shoulders crash into mine and I apologize, only to be ignored again. My smile flickers. It'll be alright.

The sky today is quite lovely; the outer blue contrasting with the bright yellow clouds brought on from the rising sun. I want to paint the sky now, even if I am not a painter.

I skip to my first class with hope, pumping from my heart to my lungs and to the rest of my body. Yet by the end of the day, it's gone.

Instead of getting ignored like I always do, some boys decide it's okay to be tease me. It doesn't necessarily bother me, because I'm partially ignoring them, but then I can't help but listen.

"Hey, where did you get that jacket?" The boy, probably from my eight grade year, asks, slightly giggling. I rub my nose but don't meet their eyes. He pokes my side and I twitch.

"Looks like you got it from the trash or something. I mean, you wear it every single day. Don't you have any other clothes?" His voice is irritating as heck. Is he asking to be hit?

"You poor or something?" He laughs and his friends chuckle, too. "Hell yeah, she is. Have you seen where she lives? She lives where the rats stay." My eyes sting, and I bite my lips.

"Don't you mean where all Mexicans stay? Are you legal? I bet you aren't. Why don't you go back, huh? You don't necessarily have a life, you know?" I want to nod; agree with him and maybe, let him feel the satisfaction of making me succumb to the worthlessness he is making me feel.

But I don't let him.

I take out my homework as I continue just sitting, waiting for my aunt to come pick me up. "Are you deaf?" He raises his voice and I nearly flinch, but I continue looking for a pencil in my pencil pouch.

"Huh, so retarded and deaf?" He guffaws at his own useless joke, and his friends roll their eyes at him. It's honestly not that funny.

"I knew Mexicans were stupid. All of you are in on-level or support classes. That's probably why none of you have ever been successful. Just go back to your continent or country, and stay there. You guys are pests in our country anyways."

Where are the teachers? Like, I'm not in the mood to get into an argument that will be my fault, even I didn't even say a word in the first place. Everything's usually my fault if I'm ever in some sort of disagreement with a white person. It makes me sad.

A car comes up and even though it's not my aunt's, I quickly pick my things and run out of there, not even caring that I nearly stumbled when they tried to trip me.

The wind slaps me in the face, and usually, I'd make some stupid joke about it (to myself) but I don't think I can.

It's kind of dark out and the temperature from this afternoon to now is way colder than it was. I bite my bottom lip and try my best to blink away the tears that are welling up in my eyes.

There's too many things going on in my mind but I can still hear the boys from inside laughing at my appearance. I can hear, from behind the windows, "What a fricking baby. Is she going to cry to her daddy?"

My heart aches when another replies, "Wait, she probably doesn't even have a dad. He probably left after he saw how ugly she was."

Blood oozes out from my bottom lip as I try to slow down the tears that are already falling down my round cheeks. I sit myself down and wrap my arms around my bookbag tightly, hoping that someone wants to give it to me. I don't think so. All that love was just a lie.

I lay my head against the soft velvet of my old Jansport bookbag and let the tears continue escaping my eyes until I hear the door open.

My head whips to whoever came out but my heart leaps when I see who it is. At first, I'm incredibly incredulous because there's no absolute fricking way that this could be happening, but I realize that it's true.

It's the boy from the website, or one of the boys. It's the one with the smile that I fell in love with. It's him.

He leans against the wall and plays with the strings of his hoodie, with a slight smile still on his beautiful face. Is this the work of God?

My face contorts as I try to fight a sob but I get up suddenly and run to him, letting my legs control my mind. I run to him as if I've known him for years but we've never each other at all.

I throw myself at him, arguably scaring him, but once I start sobbing, he pauses. He's so tall and lean, that it makes me cry even more. I'm so relieved that he's here. It's like he answered my prayer. Is he Jesus Christ?

I wrap my short arms around his abdomen and place my cheek against it, crying a bit quieter. I feel his hands wrap around me, as well. He embraces me, as if we have known each other's deepest, darkest secrets. But I didn't even know that we attended the same school, let alone live in the same country.

This beautiful boy has to crouch down to hug me but nevertheless, continues to embrace me. His hands stroke my short, wavy hair and he rubs my back in circles.

I must remind you that I don't know him.
And he doesn't know me.

"Sunshine," The first word he says to me is heartwarming but his voice is what gets to me the most. It's melodious and smooth, like honey. It's rich and slightly deep, making me want to just roll around in it or something.

"Breathe in and out, okay?" He squeezes me and I'm surprised he hasn't pushed me away from how squishy I am. He pulls away from me and I look up to see his beautiful (there's no other way to describe it) face.

He has this facial expression, filled with so much care and affection, and he strokes my round cheek. I think I died and I'm in heaven. "You're alive, and I'm so glad that you are, okay, sunshine?"

But instead of nodding, I inevitably start crying again.