sunshine ☆彡 seokmin

seventeen

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     Waking up is something that I found myself not looking forward to when I did so. My aunt knocks at the door and I pretend I'm asleep.

It's been an entire week since that day and the only thing that has happened is that my aunt is suing the coach. Many football players have come by the house and just waited outside. They want to hurt me, and so do I.

My wounds have healed, I think, but I find myself doing the same thing every now and then. My aunt said that I can't talk to Seokmin because she's scared he'll hurt me, too. I don't use my phone anymore since I don't leave the house anymore.

It's rained all week and it's supposed to rain some more. 

When I sit up, my body screams pain. It's thin and tearing into my skin, just as my wounds are. It's painful but I don't care. Everything hurts.

There's a knock at the door and it sounds like my aunt's. I mean, who else could it be? Maybe she forgot something. I miss her already.

I'm at the door and it takes me a few minutes to even get up, but when I open it, the world feels as if it's been split in two.

"Sunshine!" Seokmin screams and leans in forward. What the heck?

He gets on his knees when he comes to me and pulls me close to him. There's no space between us and I'm surprised that he hasn't grazed my scratches yet.

He buries his face into my neck since he's on his knees. It's weird to me how it feels the same as before, from when I first hugged him.

We still don't know much of each other, even though we've been talking to one another for almost two weeks. But the way he holds me tight, is too much to say that he doesn't know me.

I inhale and exhale into his abdomen, letting his hands intertwine in my hair. Are we friends? Why should he care for me?

"S-Seokmin." I say, not even sure what I want to say but all I do is say his name and that by itself seems to be okay. He just embraces me, and I really, really hope that he doesn't care about how squishy I am against him.

I grab fistfuls of his hoodie and I can hear how loud my breathing is but for some reason, I don't care. He squeezes tight around my squishy waist and the dogs from down the street have ceased to bark, as if they acknowledge what is happening.

Thunder rumbles and I flinch into him. He smells like chocolate again. 

"M-Maxima." He says my name and it gives me shivers the way he does. Seokmin sniffles softly and I don't want to think that he's crying because he probably isn't. Why would he?

I don't want him to let go. Why do I deserve to be held like this? I don't deserve, even to be acknowledged by him or anyone. He's too good for something as messy as me. He is a flower and I am the dirt. 

Tears begin to sting my eyes and I want to laugh. 

How the hell did I think I was going to be okay without him?

He squeezes me even tighter and continues, "I'm sorry. M-mianhae, Maxima."

Why is he saying sorry? 

"Seokmin," I sound like I'm laughing. "Why are you saying sorry?"

He shakes his head and his hair smells like caramel or something. How can one boy be so beautiful?

"I almost went to Korea and I forgot your address." At this, I start laughing while he is being serious. It's an odd feeling, to feel warmth when, for the longest time, you had been feeling cold. Crap, watch me get a stroke.

He pulls away and his smile―that same beautiful smile that makes me want to explode every time―flashes on his lovely face, but what makes me stop is when I see that his eyes are red with tears. No fricking way―

"If your laugh was a song, I would listen to it everyday." He says and I begin to laugh some more. There's no way that he can possibly think about me like that; so admirably and full of kindness. The way he says and the way he does things is so beautiful.

I just wish I could be as beautiful as he is.

"It's so cute, Maxima!" He squeals and he nearly causes my glasses to get foggy. "Just like you." He calms down and his breaths are calm now. So am I.

He cups my face and I still can't believe that he actually means to touch me the way he does, to even reach close proximity with me. I am not worthy.

My face is hot and I want to say a hundred things to him. Maybe a million. Maybe a billion. Maybe even a trillion.

"I would've missed seeing your pretty face if I had actually left to Korea. I'm so stupid, o-m-g." He looks away at the puddle of rain, which looks more like a pond, next to the plants.

"S-Seokmin, I'm not―" 

He turns his head back to me and his smile dissipates. Oh, does he know what affect he has on me? His hands move on my jaw but the way he holds my ugly face is gentle yet illegal. Seokmin looks into my eyes and I think  I melted a few minutes ago, while I was trying to get up to reach the door.

Seokmin leans in and I try my best not to duck, as he moves his mouth to my ear. "You are beautiful, sunshine. And I'm crazy not to have said so before." Before I can start screaming, he places a kiss on my cheek and smiles against my face.

While I should, at least, be feeling a little better, I am about to start crying. . .yet again.