sunshine ☆彡 seokmin

seven

;;

     Just when I was about to [finally] learn the boy's name, the driver asked, in his lovely, deep voice, "Flavors?"

I swear the only thing I want at the moment is probably to learn the boy's name. It must be as beautiful as he is. So far, I know the other ones and I didn't have much trouble learning then, despite the quantity.

The blonde one is Hoshi and he winked at me maybe three times. His eyes hypnotized me.

The one with chubby cheeks is Seungkwan and he blew kisses at me, which made my eyes sting with tears because that's what he did in the camera-thing. His voice is nice.

The one with long hair is Jeonghan and he's so pretty. He waved at me and laughed so beautifully that I couldn't say anything. How is a guy pretty?!

The one with blonde and brown highlights is Hansol. All he did was barely smile and stare at me. I felt like crying when he kept staring at me. He's still looking at me and I'm avoiding any looks in his direction.

I don't know how these people are related, especially when they all shout different flavors. "Chocolate!" Seungkwan is nearly choking Seungcheol, who is the oldest. That's what Jeonghan tells me.

"Is everyone okay with chocolate?" Seungcheol chokes out from the other boy's grip on his collar. Everyone solemnly nods and quiets down. Now is my chance to know his name!

I turn to the boy beside me but freeze up when I find that he's staring at me. He immediately looks away and his cheeks redden, his face contorting with a sheepish grin. God, he's so cute. Why was he staring at me?

I turn back away from him and look at my legs, which are as wide as Texas.

He was probably looking at my ugly nose. Or at the acne scars and actual scars on my temples. Or at the bags under my eyes. Or at my messy, short hair. Or plainly, just at my dark skin. Jesus, why I am so ugly?

I forget about wanting to know his name and just when I remember, Seungcheol throws the door open, which is open on my left. It's literally a few inches away from me so I'm so startled that I jump up, hitting my head on the roof.

Seungcheol blinks a few times before placing the bags on the seat and taking my hands, pulling me out of the van. What is he doing?

I don't argue but when I jump out, my eyes shut from the slight pain from hitting my head so hard. Seungcheol holds onto one of my hands and rubs my head with the other. Oh, dear. I thought he was going to kick me out of the van for being such an embarrassment.

But dear God, that was so sweet.

"Are...you okay?" His voice makes me want to fly away on some kind of hover board or something.

I wince a little bit at the slight roughness to his actions but I look up at him and smile slightly, nodding my head. A cute smile appears on his face and he pats my head.

"Sorry about that. I won't do that again." I bow my head and hop back into the seat, handing him the bags. He says this as if I will be in the van again. As if they'll see me again.

What?

The boy besides me moves his face in front of mine, like he's observing the nastiness of it. I move my head back as his face comes closer to mine, every single flaw probably becoming uglier and bigger.

I shut my eyes, expecting him to recoil in disgust but he says, "Are you okay?"

Seungcheol scoffs and shuts the door before entering through the front. "I already asked her that, dude." He's so close to me. I can feel his breaths escaping his nostrils, on my own nose. What the heck?

"Ah, okay. Sorry, sorry." He pats my cheek and sits up, just as he did before and wraps my his long arms around my bookbag, which looks tiny compared to him.

I recognize Seungkwan's screams when he screeches, "Ah, Sorry, Sorry by Super Junior! Seungcheol, hit it!" The van moves along with his movements as he rocks his head a little way too hard.

Seungcheol turns around to us and frowns, his thick, bottom lip protruding from below. "Boo Seungkwan, you have a phone. So, use it."

Seungkwan scoffs and rolls his eyes, mimicking him for maybe .0011 seconds before he takes out his phone, which probably costs more than me.

Jeonghan does a little dance, clapping his hands together as he sings quietly, "Seungcheol-hyung brought ice cream! Yes, ice cream! Yay, ice cream! Yes, ice cream! Ice cream! Yeah!"

Where has this beautiful creation of God been all my life?

The van pulls out of the store in a not-so-reckless way, so we drive to wherever they're taking me safely. Seungkwan blasts out the third song I listened to when I got into K-pop: Super Junior's Sorry Sorry.

"Hey! Hey! Hey!" All the boys begin to scream and clap at the same time whenever there's that certain beat in the song. A smile subconsciously forms on my face and when I become aware of it, it starts to go away.

Even the boy besides me starts dancing and screaming in his loud voice. I didn't mind it, honestly.

I want to sing along when they start shouting at the top of their lungs, "Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry!"

A few shivers run down my spine with slight excitement and I tremble slightly, trying to suppress the smile that's on my ugly face. My heart pounds faster and faster, and I want to laugh along with them, too.

They clap and scream, with everything they have inside them, but just when I'm about to clap along, I turn my head ever so slightly to see Hansol staring at me. He doesn't have an expression on his face, he's just looking at me.

I try to move my eyes away but his don't move. My heart begins to pound in my chest, not out of excitement, but out of slight fear. I want to go home, suddenly. Why won't he look away?

He runs his tongue over his lips and his eyebrows furrow slightly, as if he's deep in thought; staring at me. What is he thinking? Why won't he stop staring at me?

I start sweating and my smile's gone, the only thing on my face is the look that tells people I'm about to cry. I can't cry. I can't cry. I can't cry. They're too happy. They shouldn't have to deal with me. He's still not looking away.

Crap, I hate my sensitivity so much. I wish it didn't exist. I wish I didn't exist.

My bottom lip is quivering and I desperately want to hold my bookbag but the boy is leaning his elbows onto it while clapping his hands with joy. He's cackling like a maniac. Everyone is screaming so the music can't even be heard.

A tear slips out and I wish I could just put it back in. I wipe it off with my sleeve quietly and desperately try to ignore Hansol's stare that's boring into the side of my head. He can see me crying.

I wipe my tears for the rest of the car ride as Super Junior plays on.