sunshine ☆彡 seokmin

twenty one

;;

     I didn't realize how hard goodbyes were until the moment I realized I was going to have to say it. I'm in the van with the boys as Seungcheol explains to me why they have to leave but I can't listen.

Seokmin is holding my hand and I'm holding his but I never ever want to let go. I don't want to.

"So, you're trainees?" I ask after Seungcheol gives me the long explanation. He looks at me through the windshield and gives me the best smile he can possibly give me. I know he's trying, too.

My aunt is in the passenger seat and she's asleep. Mostly everyone is sleeping since we live a but far from the airport. Jeonghan is right behind the driver, sleepily giving him massages.

He nods his head and begins to rock it side to side but there's no music. I enjoy every little thing that he has done for me.

Seokmin has me in an embrace but he's holding my hand. He hasn't let me go in two hours. He still smells like chocolate.

The rest are sleeping on each other basically and Minghao is on the floor, covered in blankets. They all look so peaceful sleeping. I don't want to say goodbye to them.

I feel a squeeze on my hand and look up to see Seokmin's sleepy eyes, opening and struggling to stay that way. He gives me a small smile before pinching my cheek and getting more comfortable.

I smile at him but it hurts. He falls asleep quickly. It's 4:47 am. I can't sleep. Seungcheol moans and groans as he begins to whine at how tired he is. He's whining in Korean and then Jeonghan smacks him on the back of the head.

He sighs and rubs his eyes before sitting up suddenly. "Hey, sunーI mean, Max. Would you like to hear a song that we made?" His voice sounds less weary and I know I have to listen to it.

I nod my head and Jeonghan gives me a small grin before passing me his iPod. He ties his hair back once he does so. Thanking the both of him, I insert the earphone into my ears and glance at Seokmin.

Why do I do that?

I read the title, '20', meeting Jeonghan's eyes. He has this shy expression, trying to suppress his smile. I shrug and press play.

The shivers come first. I squeeze Seokmin's hand when I recognize their voices. Jesus actual Christ.

I read the lyrics at the same time and feel my breathing quicken. My heart's loud, too.

I want to cry, just like I did last night when I was talking to Seokmin on the phone but he sang me a song. It was Butterfly by BTS.

I cover my mouth because I'll probably start crying with my mouth. Warm, lean arms wrap around me and I melt into the embrace. Why does he do the things he does?

The song is so beautifulーand so is he. So is everyone.

When the song ends, I just stay frozen with my face in my hands as Seokmin hugs me from behind, hopefully not caring about how chubby I am.

Jeonghan's giggle fills my ears and I will myself to look up, realizing that a few are up watching me. My face heats up but I'm still shivering.

I pass the iPod back to him and I hear Jihoon's soft voice, ask with a very stern tone, "So, did you like it?"

A smile makes its way onto my horrid face and I exhale, nodding my head really hard. My glasses almost fall off my face. "How cute." Joshua comments from beside him and I just look down at my feet.

That's not true.

Seokmin doesn't let go of me until we arrive. God damnit, it's time.

My aunt wakes up too fast and hits her head against the window, causing Chan to let out an accidental cackle.