A/N
Just for short, The video is from Linkin Park and it s called "Somewhere I Belong" I though it maches to this chapter.
(Donnie's P:O:V)
I held my head and wanted to scream again, those voices, they are whispering some things but I can barely understand what. I turned my head to the right side and looked at the clock. It showed 6:30 AM. I growled and didn't want to get up. Even when I had to. I turned to the left side and hide under my blanket. Since I was a kid, I barely slept, so about 2 -3h a day I was asleep, the rest of it I was awake and depressed. But as I said, I hide in my lab from my family and as good as I am in building stuff, I made my lab soundproof, so my brothers and my father didn't hear me scream. Suddenly the door of my room shut open and my brother Leo was nearing towards my bed. "Donnie! Get up! Training already started! Master splinter is really disappointed in you that you didn't came!" I closed my ears and said "Okay! I'm coming" he went with a growl. What was up with him? I though in the same second my door opened again but this time slowly, Leo stepped one more time inside "Morning Donnie" he smiled at me, I was confused and sat up, rubbing my tired eyes. "You didn't slept did ya?" he sighted and sat on my bed. "You really need more sleep and less work Don." He said patting my shoulder. I didn't say anything, I was still so confused that he is now so careful, not like the first time. Then I asked "Why weren't...you like that the first time you entered my room?" he was confused too as I asked that. "I just came in once...What's wrong Donnie?" he looked worried. I shook my head. "Everything's....alright..I just need coffee." I got up. Since I didn't sleep so much I'm coffee addicted. He got up too and walked out of my room with me. Still with a worried look on his face, but he nodded. In the kitchen, Mikey already was there and ate his favorite cereal. Leo sat beside him and drank the tea which seemed, Mikey had made for him. "Morning Donnie" Mikey said. But I couldn't hear it clear, the voices where one more time here. "Morning..." I said sleepy. He looked to Leo who sighted. Then back at me. I stood by my coffee machine since only I use it. I took a big Mug and placed it under the machine. But then the voices in my head began to say that I couldn't do that, that I'm untalented. I wanted to press the button to start the machine but suddenly a new voice character began to shout at me "NO! YOU CAN'T DO THAT! YOU ARE STUPID! YOU CAN'T HANDLE THAT!" I held my head for a short time and breathed heavily. I wanted to press the button again but the voice came back. I couldn't handle it anymore, took the Mug and threw it across the room into the wall where Mikey just stood a second ago and shouted: "I CAN DO THAT 13! I'M NOT STUPID" my brothers looked at me wide eyed in shock. The voices grew stronger and shouted at me "YOU'RE WORTHLESS! GO KILL YOURSELF! YOU'RE NOT WORTH LIVING, KILL THEM, STUPID, FREAK...MONSTER!" I couldn't take it anymore and screamed again: "I...I'm not a MONSTER!" I stumbled backwards and touched with my back the wall I looked around me, the words didn't end. They screamed or whispered, I had a bad headache. Raph came into the room and saw me and the others, he asked: "w...what's going on Leo!?" he responded with "I....I don't know! Donnie what's wrong?!" They all were worried, and Mikey tried to come to me, then suddenly one voice said "Kill him!" I wanted to take the knife which is near me, but Raph saw it and took the knife bevor me and Mikey also away from me. I glared in anger at him and he and Mikey backed more away. Leo and Mikey looked at Raph then Leo finally talked after I sat down on the ground, hugging my knees and cried in anger. "Raph!? What's wrong?... why is he so ....so ya know...kind of crazy?" he looked at me, but I couldn't hear a single word. Raph was near to tears and only said "He's dangerous" Raph and Mikey went behind the table without looking away from me, I had my head on my knees and held my head. "W...what's w...with ....Donnie?" Mikey asked scared since he just figured out what Donnie was up to do to him. He held onto Raphs arms scared. Raph spoke after he sighed "he's sick..." - "what do you mean...sick?" Leo asked "he has...Schizophrenia...I googled his symptoms.... 3 years ago...when he tried....to kill himself...and then ...me..." Raph said, as a single tear went across his cheek. Raph sat down, he remembered that day it was horrible. "Raph....why didn't you tell us?!" Leo asked. Raph said: "cuz...he then....would have killed me if I have...." They were shocked. How could their brother do this? How did he got sick...and what's Schizophrenia? Leo sat besides him as also Mikey did. I didn't move from my spot and tried to hear what they were talking about. Then suddenly a person in the shadows was there I glared at it and asked out loud: "who are you?" All my brothers looked at my confused, I glared away from them into the shadow part of the room. He answered me "Hy I'm Monday...." I made wide eyes "GO AWAY MONDAY!" he came near me and I tried to kick him away. My brothers didn't saw anyone and where more shocked as I talked to a person who weren't there and called him 'Monday' he was the one who say I should kill myself all the time. Monday said: "you hideous freak! Why you didn't already killed yourself!? You're a threat to everyone! You're a monster! Didn't you see it?! MONSTER!" I cried harder "IM NOT A MONSTER! IM NOT A MONSTER! IM NOT A MONSTER....I'm...not a ...Monster..." my brothers got to their feet and slowly came to me. "Donnie?" they asked, I stared at them, eyes red, cause of the crying and ready to die. "Donnie? Pleas say something..." I didn't say anything, then Monday came one more time. "Ha the little crying princess can't say his last words!" Monday laughed hard, bevor he disappeared in a cloud. I growled one last time at him bevor I faced my brothers again. They asked one more time. "Donnie?? Please! We want to help you, you're not alone..." I snapped "I'm never alone! Never!" Leo and Mikey didn't understand, just Raph. I cried again and the voices said again that I'm a monster. "I'm not a god damn Monster!" I screamed and stood up. Leo, Raph and Mikey jumped a little as I stood up. "Am I a monster to you too?!" they shook their heads. I sighted and then...the voices quiet down a little. "S....sorry" I whispered and cried, just like Mikey who hugged me tight after I said that. Leo and Raph wanted to take Mikey from me, I knew they didn't trust me...but I am...I am Donatello Hamato, the nerd of the family, if there wasn't that stupid sickness... I hugged Mikey back. He said in a calming voice: "You're not a monster Donnie...you're our brother..."
A/N
heyy, It's Tori^^ hope you like the story so far, I'm open for comments ;) so yeah by :)
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TMNT - Schizophrenia....
Fanfiction(I really suck at writing describtions haha sry,) but in the story it is about how donnie has to struggle a very rare sickness called schizophrenia. There will be lots of violence and bloody scenes, betrayal and so on... don't like it, don't read...
