Could Have Had It All

I Can't Do This

Liv's Point of View
Though I've had the weekend to prepare for the day I still don't think I'm ready.

"Good afternoon class." Mrs.Hope said walking into the class room holding a clipboard. "Today we will be journaling about our life. Journaling helps students learn to write properly in first person."

Karma must love me today, she forgot about the poem.

"Oh before I forget.... Liv? Are you ready to present?" I spook too soon.

I smirked as I walked to the front of the class looking down at my feet the whole way there. "As ready as I'll ever be." I faked a smile and then began to read my poem. "This poem is called Oxygen." I tucked my hair behind my ears. "I can't think when I blink, because my eyes are flooded with memories. Without you I'd drown. You are my oxygen, without you my life is over."

"Memorizing Liv!" She said grinning. "What an amazing class of writers we have in this class." She paused. "Alright so, about those journals... I have decided to partner you up so that you can get yourself in someone else's point of view."

Oh great, just great, because I so want someone else to know about my tragic life.

Mrs.Hope then asked the class if there were any questions, of course there were none. Lovely right? Nothing to postpone this terrible assignment. After that, Mrs.Hope started to read off the list of partners. Willow and Maddie, Artie and Andy, and... The universe is out to get me because after she read off 6 other pairs then said the dreadful names "And Holden and Liv, this is due by Wednesday. Let's get working!"

Holden approached me at my desk. "Hi partner." He smiled.

"Hi..." I grabbed out a piece of paper and wrote my name and date on it, I tried to avoid eye contact with him at all costs. "What did you do this weekend?"

"Played Xbox. Watched Netflix. Thought about you." He said as I looked up at him, he was staring right at me. "I really miss you."

"Hahaha, um yea so Netflix and Xbox?" I wrote down on my paper. "I'll go into detail later."

"Well we could call each other and talk more about details."

"No!" I blurted out. "I mean." I paused. "I'm busy tonight... Maddie and I are going to the movies together."

"Maybe I'll meet you there?"

"That's not the best idea, it's sister bonding night."

"Oh okay." He frowned and twiddled his thumbs. "Well we could work on the details on mine now?"

"Sure... I guess."

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"Do you think this is enough?" I asked Holden gesturing towards my piece of paper.

He took a quick glance at my page. "It's perfect."

I blushed. "Okay well I'm going to go hand this in." Right when I put the paper on Mrs.Hope's desk the bell rang. "Talk about good timing." I muttered to myself as I walked out of the classroom and started to walk down the hall towards my locker.

"Liv!" Holden yelled running towards me. "What's up with you? You right a poem, obviously about me. You sing the duet with me. But yet you keep avoiding the spark we obviously have!"

"I like you so much, it makes it impossible for me to sleep at night. But Andy is my best friend and would do everything for me... I need to be a good friend and stay away from you until she has moved on." I said as tears pooled down my face.

"I love you and I'm not giving up on you!" He grabbed my face and kissed me. I could feel the electricity between us, I didn't want it to stop. I couldn't risk Andy seeing us.

I pushed away. "I'm sorry, I can't do this."