He's Not Perfect {Hayes Grier Fanfic}

-42- Right and Wrong

Hayes POV

"They said I had just got back out there since you left and they didn't want me to crash again." Amber responds to my question.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, after you were taken I didn't do anything for a while." She tells me. "I didn't leave the apartment much and I basically just stayed with Kalin. Olivia had to stage an intervention to get me to do something."

I frown. "And they didn't want you to come back because that would happen again?" I ask.

"Well that's what they're assuming, but I could just come back to see you."

"You can't do that babe." I say shaking my head. "I don't want you to have to go through that because I'm in here."

"I don't have to." Amber says.

"You will if you keep visiting me, coming to see me here."

"I have to. Hayes, you know I love you."

"I know." I say not wanting to say the thing that I had to say next. I had to though. "But, you can't come back okay?"

She furrows her eyebrows. "What?"

"I can't let you do that. If you keep visiting me, I'm going to hold you back from living your life. And I don't want that to happen."

"Hayes, you're not going to hold me back from my life. You are my life."

"Amber, I love you so much. But Will and Olivia are right, I'm in jail and seeing me is only going to hurt you."

"You're not hurting me."

"I am. When you went into that depression, I hurt you. And when you continue to come visit me, not moving on with your life and waiting for me to get out, I'm hurting you. And that's the last thing I want to do." Amber doesn't say anything and looks down at the ground, understanding what I'm saying. I tuck a piece of her hair behind her ear causing her to look up at me. "Trust me when I say this is the hardest thing I've ever had to say." I whisper to her. "But I need you to forget about me okay?"

"Hayes-"

"I don't want you to, hell no I don't. But when you walk out of those doors, I need you to never come back. I need you to raise Kalin, I need you to live your life to its fullest, and I need you to be happy. Okay?" I ask trying not to let my tears fall and just looking at her. She doesn't day anything for the longest time.

Finally, she nods. "I love you Amber, more than you'll ever know." I remind her softly. "So so much." She still doesn't say anything. Until I see her break, actually break, and tears are sliding down her face. She falls into me and I wrap my arms around her, probably for the last time. She cries, I hold her.

It pains me to see her broken like this. But I know that if I hadn't said that, she would be broken for the rest of her life.

"I love you too." Amber whispers.

~•~

I'm escorted back to my cell by the same cop. When I get back, I notice Jack has finally woken up and is playing Solitaire.

"Damn, that was a long visit." He says as soon as he sees me. When he sees my face, his eyebrows raise. "Man, are you okay?"

Wordlessly, I toss him the one thing I had left of her. He catches it and when he sees what it is, his face falls.

Jack looks at Amber's engagement ring and looks at me. "I'm really sorry Hayes." He says quietly. She had slid it off and handed it to me before walking out the door. Walking out of my life.

"It's for the best." I reply, trying to keep my voice from cracking. "She believes me, that's all I wanted."

Jack and I head to lunch together as usual, and we are given our trays by level 1s, thanks to Carter of course. I look down to see lunch is just a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, an apple, and milk. Carter and the guys join us a few minutes later.

I stay silent as they all start to talk and joke and Carter looks at me halfway through the meal. "What's up with you?"

"Amber visited me today." I inform them. They all know who she is and everything, you get to know everyone's life story when you are forced to spend every waking moment with them with no other forms of entertainment or anything.

"Aye man, that's great." Shawn says smiling.

"I told her she couldn't come visit me ever again."

"Because that makes so much sense." Jake comments rolling his eyes.

"If she kept visiting me here, she'd never move on. I'd just hold her back and I don't want that." Everyone's silent for a second.

"I know that was tough." Carter says after a second. "But it was the right thing to do."

"Yeah I keep reminding myself that, but a voice in my head keeps saying I made the biggest fucking mistake of my life."

"You'll just have to wait and find out the answer then." Jake says simply. He's right. It was the only thing I could do at this point anyways.

Amber POV

I go to Will's apartment immediately after leaving the jail. I stop to get some food before I go over and I know they'll love me forever. I knock on the door and Will answers.

"Hey what's up?" He asks stepping back to let me in and I step in pressing the bag of food into his hand. "Dang thanks." Olivia walks in, probably wondering who was at the door, and smiles when she sees me.

"Hey sister." She greets me and I collapse onto their couch, facedown. "What's with you?"

"I visited Hayes." I inform them, still facedown on the couch.

"What? You did?" Olivia asks and I nod. "What happened?"

"He told me you guys were right." I mutter. "And that I should never come to visit him again."

"Oh my god." I hear her say under her breath and she soon kneels next to me putting her face next to mine. "Amber, I'm so sorry."

"You don't have to say you told me so." I inform her, a tear rolling down my cheek. "I get it. You were right, I was wrong."

"What did he say?"

"He said that he loved me. But needed me to never visit him again, raise Kalin, and live my life to the fullest." I say quoting Hayes's words exactly. "He said he'd only hurt him and I need to move on."

She doesn't say anything, probably because she has no idea what to say. I had no idea what to say. All I wanted to do was just take him out of that jail and back home. All I want is for him to come home and cuddle with me and Kalin. That's all I want.

"I know that this feels like hell." Olivia whispers. Yea, a little. "But trust me, trust Will, and trust Hayes. It's the right thing to do."

It's the right thing to do. I kept telling myself that but I could not at all believe that this was the right thing to do. It seemed so wrong. The world is wrong without Hayes.