At Sunrise

Chapter 23: Buh Bye Now

I raise the volume of my headphones to be fully captivated by the words of Taylor Swift. Nodding softly to the music, I continue to wipe down the coffee machines. Today is my turn to lock up and I listen to music as I do so to avoid the deafening silence of the night. Lately the playlist has been sad and slow break up songs. My mind drifts back to that night.

It's been eleven days.

I didn't let Vincent even try to come up with some ridiculous tale of how he "found" my dead sister's phone. My anger tuned out everything else after he admitted that he was the one who texted Nessa the night she died. The text she died trying to reply to, the text that cost Andy a year of her life. And the text that costed me a sister.

I know I can't blame it all on him, Nessa did make the choice. But to know that he played a part in the matter at all, that is what I can't get over.

Deciding that's enough for tonight, I gather my things from the back room. Locking up always scares the shingle berries out of me because someone could just rob us or more importantly rob me and no one is here to help. It's ten o'clock on the dot which means I can run to my car and start the ride home.

Making sure to lock the door behind me I sprint against the cold air to my car. It isn't any warmer inside the car so of couse so I'm still shivering when my phone vibrates.

Sighing I unlock my phone to see it's a message from my best friend.

Andy: Hey are you off work yet?

Her timing is scary sometimes.

Me:Yeah I'm just leaving, is everything set up?

Andy: Yup junk food is out movies are set

Me: great I'll see you soon X

I set my phone down and start the car wishing I did this five minutes ago.

When the car is ready to go I turn the radio with one hand as I drive out of the parking lot with the other.

Finally I get to a station that has a history of playing good songs. I drive impatiently waiting for one to come on after all of these ads. At least there is no traffic tonight.

"Uninterrupted music starting now."

Thank god. The music begins to fade in and I let a series of curse words out.

"Loving can hurt. Loving can hurt sometimes. But its the only thing that i know.."

I reach out to change the station but the next words stop me.

"...And when it gets hard you know it can get hard sometimes, it is the only thing that makes us feel alive.."

Your right Ed loving is hard.

I sit back and listen to the song and I realize I don't exactly want to end things with Vincent because of a text he sent a year ago.

But how did he get the phone?

"And if you hurt me, well that's okay baby only words bleed
Inside these pages you just hold me
I will remember how you kissed me
Under the lamp post back om sixth street, hearing you whisper through the phone: Wait for me to come home."

I quickly shut the radio off immediately after the song finishes. I sit in silence feeling numb from the sting of the song.

I pull up to Andy's house and blink away the water that was starting to sting my eyes.