At Sunrise

Chapter 3: Say Hi To Paul Walker For Me

Family and friends are gathered around the funeral home for the wake. People are walking around looking at pictures of Vanessa that are hanging from balloons in the air.

Beautiful flower arrangements are spread out sporadically around the room. Soft music is playing while guests just sit and wait.

"The immediate family can now go in to see the body."

My parents quickly got up and open the door to the viewing room. It took me about a minute before I actually got up.

Do I want to see her like that? How will I react?

I slowly get up, but when I reach the door I hesitate and took a deep breath. Wiping my hands on my black dress, I pulled the knob.

I walked in and saw my parents crying over the casket. "She wasn't ready to leave yet," my mom sobbed.

I walked over to the casket and couldn't breathe. She looked so beautiful and alive. She had this glow about her as if she was just sleeping.

She wasn't though.

My parents walked over to the chairs to let me have my own time with Vanessa.

I just looked at her not wanting to believe that she was dead. I put my hand over hers and gasped. It was stiff and cold, lifeless.

The people who dressed her did an amazing job. They added color to her lips and cheeks. She was wearing the outfit I picked for her. She was wearing a simple black dress with a pale pink blazer. I made sure they didn't forget the jewelry. She had on a necklace and her favorite butterfly bracelet. Butterflies were her favorite animal. She never dared to refer to it as a "bug". She thought they were so much more then that.

I look at her with my eyes over filling with tears and I can feel my nose running. Then, as if she could hear me, I start talking to her.

"Vanessa I just to let you know that you were the best sister anyone could have. I love you so much and I'm going to miss you. I'll miss you like Spongebob missed Krabs. I'll miss you like Simba missed Mufasa. Like Katniss missed Rue. I will miss you."

There were endless tears running down my face now. "I know you don't want us crying, but it's so hard. Really fucking hard. I'm gonna miss talking for hours about random stuff. I still can't believe they killed off Derek. I promise to stop borrowing your clothes and to delete those pictures of you I have for blackmail." I wipe my tears and say, "I'm always going to love you. You stay out of trouble Nessa." I'm about to turn away but I don't want to leave my sister with a sad final thought. "Say Hi to Paul Walker for me." My lips form a small smile, she was so sad she never got to meet her favorite actor. Now she just might. My smile goes as quick as it came. With final tears I say "I love you big sis." For the very last time, to my sister's face.

Still crying I go to sit down next to my parents. My mom pulls me in for a hug and cries in my shoulder. My eyes widened with surprise. My parents are never around and when they are they never really show affection to us. They usually keep me at arms length.

I hug her back trying to imagine how much pain she is in write now. Yeah I lost a sister but no mother should ever have to bury her child. I try my best to comfort her, "Mom, she's in a better place now. We're gonna be ok." I hug her tightly not knowing if what I'm saying is to comfort her or myself.

As I hug my mom the funeral director lets the guest come in. Everyone gathers in a line to take a turn viewing my sister.

My mom pulls from my embrace and looks at me with her jaw clenched and pursing her lips,"Thank you."

It's going to be so hard grieving knowing my parents are mad and blame me for what happened.

Soon a priest came and went we did some prayers. Bowing my head just wishing everything is gonna be ok.