Was it whole milk or 2%? I thought to myself as I held two cartons of milk in my hands. Darry asked me to pick him up some milk at the store. I put the 2% carton in the cart and grabbed the plain white bread across the aisle.
I turned the corner sharply with the cart and parked it to the side of the shelf with the soups. Handling the can of Campbell’s Chicken Noodle Soup and turned around to place the can in the cart, but instead I meet the man I was most afraid of.
He smiled like nothing ever happened, but he wore a weary expression in his eyebrows. “Can we talk?” I kept quiet and continued staring and he tried to push more on the subject, “Do you want to get a cup of coffee or tea? I don’t know what you drink anymore.”
My mind drew blank like a white sheet of paper. I guess I agreed to it because I was sitting with the man that abandoned me having coffee. It felt weird that I haven’t spoken to him in a year or so. We stayed quiet for a while and I took a sip of my black coffee. He coughed trying to figure out how to talk to me. I couldn’t blame him because he never did have a regular conversation with me, only arguments that ended with yelling.
“I know you don’t want to talk to me, but—“
I cut him off and calmly answered, “I’m not giving you any money if that’s what you’re here for.” There was a slight bitterness in my voice.
“I don’t need money. I just want to talk to you about here and what’s been happening with you and your siblings and your mother.” He asked curiously.
“Why? Why should I tell you anything? It’s not like you’re going to change your life just for a bunch of misfits.”
“Watch it!” He responded heavily.
“Why! You’re not the boss of me anymore. I’m an adult and I can make my own choices. I’m happily married and a mother and yes I did marry that greaser because he’s good to me and he cares about me more than you’ll ever. I’ve been waiting all my life to finally stand up to you and it feels good.” I was still very calm with my temper, but still firm.
He looked down, but he still had that mean look etched into his wrinkles. I was surprised he was just taking this and wasn’t yelling at me or hitting me even if we were in public.
“Why are you even trying to fix this family? You were never there growing up, it was always mom who made us breakfast and washed our clothes not you. Even if she didn’t like me, she still tolerated me and let me come back.” I said staring into his cold grey eyes.
My dad sat up and looked me dead in the eyes, “I worked to support this family all day because even a penny helped. Now you can say I was never around, but you can’t say I didn’t do anything for the family.”
“Worked,” I quoted with my fingers. “C’mon dad, we all know you were having an affair with your receptionist.”
“I loved your mother!” He said back to me.
“Then why’d you get a divorce, huh? Tell me that. You cheated on her then left her with ten children for Vegas where you dumped the girl and now with a woman twenty years younger than you at a Blackjack table!” Everything I’ve been building up started pouring out. “You left us and because of that mom started drinking and I had to cut school to juggle a job and the kids because she made me have no choice.”
He kept silent for a moment, “Are you still hanging around that stupid gang?”
“That gang was the only people I have that cared about me. That’s what a real family is. You’re always there for your gang no matter what and it’s sad to think that these strangers are more of a family then you guys were. If they weren’t there, I wouldn’t be here. I finally married the man of my dreams who will never leave me because I know he truly loves all of me. Whenever you yelled at me or kicked me out, he was there and they were the people who got me through it and told me to go back.” I crossed my arms with a smirk.
His head was hanging in his hands while his elbows were propped up on the table, “I felt like I failed you. You are a failure to me…”
“See that’s what I’m talking about! How could you tell your own daughter that she’s a disappointment to the family and to you and that I soil our name. Do you know what it’s like for someone to constantly put you down and bully you everyday? I’ve taken your crap for the last twenty years of my life and I’m done dad. I told mom and I’ll tell you: I want nothing to do with this family.”
“Well what was I suppose to do! Just let you run around with those no good hoods? Your mother and I are embarrassed of you!” he said.
I had no sympathy for this man, but I couldn’t believe that he was tormenting me again. “I walked down the street everyday and watched my friends moms’ kiss their husbands goodbye in the morning and only saw the door slam while you two shouted at each other.” We both sipped our coffee again, “I’m looking forward for you to finish raising the rest of the Brady Bunch.”
“You really are one pathetic person.” He made sure I was looking at him when he said this and he didn’t say it lightly.
I simply smiled, “You will won’t know what it’s like to be a father. You never were. My friend is a better father than my biological one, how does that make you feel? I will never completely know why you never liked me. I know its because I’m a greaser, but there has to be something more.”
I got up from my chair and looked down at my dad. He didn’t say anything. “They say that all parents love their children equally, but I guess they’re wrong.”
“Colleen.” He said. I knew what he was trying to do. He was trying to get me to help him with the kids, but this was a new slate and a new life without the stress from the family.
I started walking away, but I turned on my heels and said my last word to him, “You’ll never be a real father no matter how hard you try.”
That was the last I ever saw of Martin Davis. I finally felt free. I finally felt that I didn’t have to constantly worry about the insults or rage from my parents. They got what they deserved. My dad lost all his money gambling, became some sort of playboy, and now he gets to deal with three druggies, drinking teens, and a bunch of little kids. I wasn’t wishing him any luck. He still thought the same about me four years later without a doubt. He neglected us when we needed him most and I will never forgive either one of them for what they did to me. I guess May will never know either of her grandparents, one for the best and I was okay with it.
YOU ARE READING
Stepping Stones to my Heart (Sodapop Curtis Love Story)
Hayran KurguColly is one of ten and the only greaser in the family. She's looked down upon and is losing confidence. She's one of the toughest greaser girls in all of Tulsa. Sodapop Curtis has been her best friend as long as she can remember, but she's start...
