The Sacred Violet Heart

Getting Close but Far.

Life seemed lovable. I wanted to live. I wanted to let others live. When I looked at him in the bus stop, I felt like I was in heaven. I felt like I got my life back, along with the bonus of happiness and love. As I approached him, he looked up and smirked. 

HE: You owe me a hug. 

**I never thought I would ever hear this from him!** 

ME: No I don’t! 

I said angrily, as I dropped my bag on the bench. 

HE: Don’t be stubborn with me. You have no idea how dangerous I could be. 

He stood up with an evil smirk. I moved a step back. He took a step towards me. I took another step back. He took another step but now he had a broader smile. Expecting a danger, I took another step backwards. Something hard hit my back. Before I could look back; his palms rested on either side of my face. I was trapped! I was about to push him away. But he was quicker. His strong hands gripped my wrists and forced them backwards. It was a tree. I couldn’t escape. 

So there I was, pinned to a tree, in an isolated place, by the hottest guy in the world. **This is not getting any better.**

HE: I warned you! If you would have given it voluntarily, I wouldn’t have had caused you this trouble. Now I guess I have to take it from you. 

My heart started pounding hard; trying to escape the ribcage. I started hyperventilating. I looked down at my chest.  My eyes widened. My chest was barely inches away from his manly chest. I took a deep breath. He smelled awesome! Sometimes like sandalwood, sometimes like ocimum, sometimes like flower, but always very tempting. 

HE: Look into my eyes! 

I looked up. I saw my reflection in his eyes. His eyes met mine. His invasive eyes tried to dig out everything, hidden in me; as they gained entry through my eyes. His hot breath fanned my lips. My lips and mouth went dry. 

HE: You are putting up a strong fight! But it is difficult to resist temptation for longer. I am too tempting for anyone. 

**Why are you torturing me?**

HE: Don’t try to escape. It will only make your condition worse. 

He smirked. 

ME: You can’t do this to your friend!

HE: You are not my friend anymore. 

ME: What? 

HE: You unenrolled from my friend list. 

ME: When? Why? 

HE: If you considered me a friend; you wouldn’t have hesitated this much to hug me. What is wrong in a friendly hug? It means you have something else in your mind. 

**Why does it always have to be from my side? Why does he not take a step?** 

HE: So… I took a step… to find out what is there in your mind. 

**How does he know my thoughts? I need to cover up.** 

ME: Nothing is there in my mind. I will hug you now. If you leave me. 

HE: It is too late. Now you have to bear the punishment. It will be much worse! 

**I am ready for anything, if it is with you.**

His grip tightened over my wrists. He slowly pulled them forwards placing my palms gently on his chest.

Then he placed his palms against the tree, on either side of my neck. 

HE: Close your eyes. 

I closed my eyes. Everything was silent. The only thing I could hear, was quiet breathing. But it was not of two people. It was of one! I was confused. Then as the breathing got deeper, I observed that both of us were breathing in such a synchronous manner, it sounded like only one was breathing.  My heart beat could be heard in my ears. My attention drifted to the pulsations felt on my palm. To my surprise; our heart beats were completely synchronous. It was like the same heart beats was both in my ears and on my palms! 

**Can this happen? Can the heartbeat of two people be this synchronised? I didn’t know. But I felt, he was closer to me than anyone. He was the only one who understood me to the fullest. If there is anyone whom I could trust with my life; it was him!** 

HE: What did you feel? 

I opened my eyes, his eyes were full of love and care. 

ME: There is no cardiac murmur… seems like you have a healthy heart. 

He burst out laughing. I felt proud of myself for making him laugh. **I wanted to be silly when I was with him. I wanted to be crazy when I was with him. I wanted to behave like a baby in his arms. I wanted to be that; which I could not be, with anyone else around.** His face got tinge of red by the time he stopped laughing. He looked like a cute baby.

He looked into my eyes again. His face got closer again. 

HE: You heard for the murmurs… but did you hear it whisper? 

I jumped on hearing a loud honk. The bus arrived. 

He grabbed my hand and we ran towards the bus. After getting into it, I noticed people staring at us. I was red like a tomato. I glared at him. He smiled.  I didn’t know how to react. The conductor came to me. I showed him my bus pass. 

“I think you should tell your parents soon.” 

I nodded. 

After we got down the bus, I turned to go away. 

HE: Why did you glare at me? 
ME: As if you don’t know. 

HE: What did I do? 

ME: Everyone in the bus was staring at us. What would they have thought about us? 

HE: Why are you bothering about that?

ME: Why should I not? It was so embarrassing when the conductor asked me to inform my parents about our relationship. 

HE: What relationship? 

ME: What are you saying? 

HE: I didn’t know we were in a relationship! 

ME: Then why did you do that to me? 

Tears formed in my eyes. **Why does he play with my feelings?**

HE: What did I do? 

ME: But you were so close to me! 

HE: Yes! But does that mean, we were in a relationship? We never decided on anything like that! 

ME: You are such a beast! 

HE: Come on! Be practical. How am I supposed to know what you feel about us, until you tell me? 

ME: I thought you knew it!

HE: How would I know? I am not a piece of you! 

ME: But you said we are connected. 

HE: Yes, we are! But does that mean we are in a relationship. 

ME: Don’t torture me! 

HE: I’m only telling you the fact. 

ME: Okay! Fine! Let us be clear about it now. What do you feel about us? 

HE: You should tell me that! I will decide about it later. 

ME: Just get lost! I don’t want to see you! 

I ran home. Thankfully my parents were busy and they didn’t notice the change in my mood. That night I couldn’t sleep. I decided to open up to him regarding my feelings towards him.

**I knew I was horrible with such kind of stuff. I never felt like this before. I never guessed that I would be in such a situation.**