The Sacred Violet Heart

How could he?

I was really nervous when I got down the bus the next evening. But I froze as I saw him! All my excitement got melted away. I heard my heart shattering. Tears immediately formed in my eyes. 

There he was; with his arms around the waist of some hot girl, her head on his shoulder, and both of them laughing together. I didn’t know how to react. I wanted to run away from there. But I didn’t know where to go. Ultimately I decided to ignore them. So I dropped my bag by his side and sat down next to it. I heard the girl complain with frustration – “Why is she here? It is disturbing.”  

HE: Why are you bothered about that? She is not harming you! Just ignore. 

His words hurt me more than her words. I bit my lip so hard, that it started bleeding. But I didn’t feel that pain. The pain inside was much worse. I swallowed my tears. After about 2 long min, a bus arrived and she got up to go. Before she left, she kissed him. He tickled her and she left laughing. **This guy really knew how to keep girls happy!** I let out a sigh. **What a big fool I was, to think that I was important to him.** I couldn’t control my tears anymore. **After meeting him, I became a total cry baby! That annoyed me. Because, until then, I never let anyone see me cry. I was strong. But this person made me cry each day!** 

The bus left and he turned towards me. I didn’t look at him. I didn’t want him to see me cry. **I had to be strong if I had to let him go. Letting him go was a very difficult thing, but if he was not happy with me, it was a waste to hold on to him.** 

HE: Your bus arrived early today.

ME: Yeah! Sorry for interrupting your romantic moments. 

HE: That was… 

ME: Don’t try to explain. I don’t need it. I am neither your friend, nor your girlfriend… so I don’t care. 

HE: Why are you getting serious now? 

ME: I am not! I am just trying to explain you that you mean nothing to me. 

HE: That is not true. 

ME: Who are you to decide that? 

HE: I am your friend.  

ME: You are my ex-friend. 

HE: That sounds disgusting; … because once friends, should always remain friends. 

ME: But I can’t be your friend anymore. 

HE: Why? 

ME: Leave it.

HE: You have to tell me the reason. 

ME: Sorry! I am not in a position to tell you anything. 

HE: But you wanted to tell me something! 

ME: How do you know? 

HE: I observed you when you got down the bus. You were excited. But your mood changed all of a sudden. 

ME: Anyways, it is useless to tell you that now. 

HE: You tell it to me first. Whether it is important or not, it is up to me to decide. 

ME: Just get lost! 

He tried to hold my hands. 

ME: Don’t touch me with your dirty hands!  I pulled myself away. 

HE: Enough! 

I could see anger in him. I got scared. I was dumbstruck by his sudden outburst. This is the first time I got scared of him. He held my hands and pulled me closer. I felt petrified.  

HE: Look into my eyes. 

I looked into his eyes. There was a deep emotion in them. **Those eyes will literally pierce my soul!** They instantly calmed me down. **I wonder how that happened?** 

HE: Now tell me what you wanted to tell. 

ME: I want you! 

**Oops! Did I say that? I didn’t want to… but how did it happen? I felt like I was in a trance.** 

HE: I know that. 

ME: No! you don’t. you don’t know how much I like you. You don’t know how I feel when I am with you. You don’t know anything. 

He sighed. 

HE: I know everything. 

ME: If you knew it, you wouldn’t have behaved like this.

HE: I did it on purpose. 

ME: What? 

HE: I am sorry. I was very harsh to you yesterday. It was only to make you open up. I couldn’t proceed until you let me know clearly, what you felt. I knew each of your thought, emotion and desire. Don’t ask me how. But I knew how much you liked me. I knew how much you wanted me. But I waited for you to express it. I waited each day, I gave you hints, to make you feel comfortable, so you would tell me. But you never did. You always maintained a good distance. I wanted you to break the wall between us. 
ME: But if you knew it, why did I have to tell you? 

HE: Because even god doesn’t grant you a wish, if you don’t ask. So how could I? One more thing; if you felt ashamed to tell your desires, it is better you don’t have them. That is why I wanted to hear it from you. I wanted to hear you say ‘I want you’. Only after that would I have known, if you were really fond of me. I didn’t want you to be ashamed about us. I wanted you to be bold with your desires and decisions. 

He sighed. 

ME: But if you knew, that I was about to open up today; why did you behave like that with her? 

HE: Because I didn’t want to cheat you. I wanted you to see for yourself, my original behaviour. It was up to you to decide whether you will accept me this way. 

ME: What do you mean?

HE: I might look like a playboy, but deep inside, only I know what I am. 

I could see truthfulness and honesty in his eyes. **I wanted to believe him. I didn’t want to lose him at any cost.** 

HE: There are so many people who come to me to seek happiness. It is my responsibility to make them happy. I remove their deepest desires, either by fulfilling their desires or by letting them find a way to get over them. It is my nature to keep everyone around me happy. 

ME: So… do you mean to say that, all those girls with whom you flirt; … is it their deepest desire to have romance with you? 

He nodded. **Of course! He was so hot and handsome! Anybody would want him.** 

ME: But how do you know their deepest desires? 

He pointed towards the violet heart he wore. I understood. 

ME: You are not cheating on me right? 

He placed his palm on my cheek. **I love him so much… It is fine even if he cheats me. I am ready to go to hell, if he asks me to!** 

HE: If I wanted to cheat on you, I would not have let you know all this. 

I smiled.

**Since I have to do it, I will  do it in a proper way.** I stood  up  in front of him.

ME: I …

He  closed  my  mouth

HE: I know !

He  hugged me.

That  was  the  best  hug  ever. I  wanted  to  melt  into  it.  I  wanted to  forget  the  whole world. I  wanted  time  to  stop.

The bus honk separated us  again. I turned red. He smiled.