Struggles In The Dark (A Carl Grimes Fanfiction)

The Hilltop

Carl's P.O.V
As Negan finishes up telling the rest of his people about the plan to attack the strange community near The Hilltop, I can't help but to eye the basement door. If I can't free Luke, I at least would like to see him one last time. I have too. Negan is making me part of the attack, I could possibly die during it. I need to see Luke before one of us dies.

"Carl! You're coming with me today! I'm taking you on a supplies run. You're going to learn how we get things done. This will be one of your jobs in the future," Negan explains.

"I won't be here in the future. Me and Luke are going to escape."

"Like I said when we first met, you aren't ever leaving. This place is your prison. Go get in the truck with Dwight."

"No. I'm not going anywhere with you until you let me see Luke."

"Listen up little bitch," he says grabbing me by the collar of my shirt, "You'll do exactly what I say or you won't live to see another day!"

"Do it. Kill me. I know you won't."

"Get your ass in the back of the goddamned truck!" he says punching me.

And I do.

I needed to prove that I'm not a push over. He needs to know that I'm not afraid to stand up to him.

__________

We drive for about four and a half hours until we reach to what I'm told is The Hilltop.

"Alright, Dwight we're doing this just like we always do. Carl, don't open your mouth unless I tell you too."

Negan and Dwight exit the truck with their weapons in hand, meanwhile I'm empty handed.

The Hilltop had tall walls too, I think they might be bigger than Alexandria's. The community is bigger though for sure! This place looks unbelievable! It's like they put a wall around an entire city; a city that has been untouched by walkers. There must be a lot more people living here than in Alexandria and The Sanctuary combined!

"Get Gregory! Negan's here!" a man yells from a platform at the top of the wall.

Soon the gate slides back and a man, which I'm assuming is Gregory, walks towards us. He's tall with white hair and a short white beard.

"You know the routine Gregory, give us your shit," Negan orders.

"Yes, I'm quite aware. My men are gathering it now."

"Drop the smart ass tone, or do I need to kill more of your people?"

He dismisses Negan's remark and continues on to speak.

"Who's this?" he says motioning to me.

"All you need to know is he works for me."

"I'm Carl, Carl Grimes."

"Dammit kid!" I told you not to open your damn mouth!" he says hitting me in the mouth with the butt of his gun.

I stumble backwards, almost falling down. He caught me off guard; the hit busted my bottom lip too.

"Have you gone soft? You used to hate kids," Gregory states.

"Watch it," Dwight warns.

"Ah, here you are," Gregory says when he catches sight of his men pushing the load of supplies towards us.

Dwight and I load the supplies into the truck while Negan stands and watches us. When we finish, Gregory speaks to me.

"You said your last name is Grimes, correct? Hm... That's a.. Funny name."

Something in his voice was off. His tone of voice was different, peculiar actually. Nothing about his tone of voice showed any sign of humor. He doesn't actually think my name is funny at all. He sounded kind of interested or curious. Maybe a little worried even. It sounds a bit like a mixture of the three.

I stare at him, trying to read him, then respond.

"Uh, yeah. I guess Grimes is kind of funny.." I say suspiciously.

"I'll be back in one week. Be prepared," Negan says.

We get back in the truck and we're off to a few more communities before returning back to The Sanctuary.

___________

The drive back seemed to pass by quicker than it did on the way to the communities. I guess it was because I was lost in thought.

Why did Gregory seem weird when speaking of my last name? Am I missing something? It's like he knows something I don't.

"Let me see Luke now," I say as we finish unloading the supplies.

"No. Seeing him is not in your top priorities," Negan says.

"Yes it is! I do as you say! I helped with the supply run! I deserve to see him in return!"

"Luke is dead. He died sometime last night due to starvation and dehydration. And it's about damn time too. I'd offer to let you see his body, but I've already given it to the undead. Wait! You know what, no. I wouldn't have offered. Sorry about your luck."

"You son of a bitch! How could you! How could you torture and starve him until he died?! What kind of sick, twisted monster are you? I'm going to kill you!"

I lunge at him, kneeing him in the crotch. When he doubles over, I slam his face down onto my knee, causing his nose to bleed. Dwight grabs me from behind and restrains me.

"You've really fucked up now!" Negan yells standing up.

He hits me in the face with the butt of his gun again then punches me in the stomach. I try to fight back, but Dwight is still holding me back.

Over the course of the next couple of minutes, Negan punches me in the face and stomach continuously. After he's finished he orders Dwight to let go of me and he does.

I try to remain standing, but my legs have other plans. My body drops to the ground. I can't move, my body hurts too much. Every time I take a breath it feels like I'm being stabbed.

Negan picks me up and slams my body back down onto the ground, sending gravel to pierce deep into my back. The impact knocks the breath out of me and I lay there gasping for air until I finally recover.

"Who in hell do you think you are? Nobody hits Negan!" he yells just before kicking me and walking away.

Dwight follows him.

"Please kill me!" I weakly yell to Negan.

He and Dwight ignore me and continue to walk away.

I have no purpose anymore. I have nothing to live for. I'll never see my dad again, or Michonne. I'll never see Maggie and Glenn again either. Sasha. Daryl. Carol. Eugene. Enid. Denise. Deanna. I'll never see any of them ever again.

I have no one here. I'm going to die here alone sooner or later, so why not now? Luke's dead.
I find out he's alive.. and then he's just dead the next day. Like he was never here. Like he never existed.

He's just... gone.