Struggles In The Dark (A Carl Grimes Fanfiction)

Light Bulb

Luke's P.O.V
"He's gone. He left yesterday afternoon," Negan says.

"I can't believe he would leave me.."

"Why not? He never really cared about you, I can't believe you fell for the act."

"I thought he really cared about me.. enough to not leave me here at least."

He scoffs loudly, while rolling his eyes impatiently.

"Well, I better get going. I'll send Holly down later to fix you up. You're a mess," Negan says leaving the basement.

Why is he sending her down here anyway? What's the point in "fixing me up"? He's already killed me. I'm too weak to recover, not on my own at least. My needs require serious medical help, but that would require a functioning civilization.

I mean, why would I even try to live when I have nothing to live for? Carl left. He was my last reason to try to survive this world and he left me. He forgot about me. He chose a nice, warm bed at home over saving me. He's at home relaxing, eating full meals and I'm chained up in this damn basement being tortured!

Everyone I trust to not leave, leaves me. I thought my dad would never leave me, I thought he loved me enough to not leave me in this world. But he did.

Then there was Carl. Man, I trusted him with every fiber in my body to never leave me... But he did.

Everyone leaves me.

Carl gets every luxury you could imagine and I get this single, dim light bulb. I thought he was better than this. I though he cared more. I thought what we had was worth fighting for. But he doesn't care, and it wasn't worth fighting for, and I'm never getting out of here.

Screw this.

I don't need him...

I grab the hot bulb.

I'll be fine on my own...

I squeeze the bulb until it shatters in my hand, blood trickling down my arm from my palm, leaving me in complete darkness.

I'm a survivor...

I choose the largest shard of glass.

And I refuse to live like this...

I take the shard of glass and push it down hard into my arm, slowly, feeling the blood creep out. I lash out in a sudden fit of rage at my right arm, cutting it over and over again, causing blood to stream down my arm, over my shoulder, and onto my naked chest and back.

Six long, deep, horizontal cuts cover my right arm once I'm finished.

But why should I stop there?

Oh no, I wouldn't dream of stopping there.

Not. Even. Close.

I then place the shard of glass into my right hand and do exactly the same to my left arm, only stopping after I've created six long, deep, horizontal cuts.

Both my arms are oozing blood now, causing it to cover my arms, chest, back, and the floor.

I smile as I watch the blood run down my body, falling onto the floor.

The smile widens as the blood starts to puddle under me.

Why did I wait so long?
Did I actually think I was going to escape?
Did I really believe I was going to be rescued?
Was I seriously foolish enough to believe Carl gave a damn about me?

Everything is so peaceful now, everything is right. It all makes sense to me now.

Carl is dead to me.

And soon I'll be dead too.

Oh, so soon.. So, so soon.

"I'll see you again soon, Mom," I say just before feeling a heavy weight take over my body.

A.N.

Sorry this chapter was so short. And I know I usually publish two chapters at once if one is short, but since the next chapter is the last chapter of the book, I've decided to wait.

But on the up side, the next chapter will be, much, much, much longer. It's the longest chapter in the book.

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Thanks for reading!