Towers | (Ashton Irwin) / #wattys2016

Chapter 14

"Uhm... Josh... I don't know... I mean you've hurt me, but I can see you're sorry, what are you saying if we don't rush, we just go along and see what happens?" I said to him a little unsure, but do I trust him enough to just say yes to being his girl? I don't think so, but I trust him, just not sure how much... **

Why do you keep trusting this guy? He is joking with you, god damit, I wish I could revined this and somehow apered in her life, I would kick this ashole in the balls, I swear. I don't understand why she just can't let him go... I understand that he is her first love and all, but still. If a person hurts you like this... I don't know what I'd do, but that's love I guess, we do all kinds of bizarre things for love...

**"Yeah, sure, whatever you want, I will wait till you're ready." He smiled and touched my hand with his, he wasn't holding it, he just moved it to the point that our hands were touching. I hope, I didn't disappoint him, I really don't like to let people down. I still feel bad, I should just said yes and get over with this.

"I mean it's not like I don't like you, but I'm going to the x factor tomorrow and I really have to be focused, I hope you understand." I tried explain my decision to him.

"Yeah, don't worry Kendall, I will wait, because it's just you nobody else, I promise, even now, when we are not even together, I will not have any other girl, they are not worth it." He said with friendly expression. My heart flutter, did he really meant that? It's just me or is my life just getting better and better? Wiiii I'm so happy!

"Promise?" I blurred out anyways, I guess, I wanted to make sure that he is serious with this whole thing.

"Pinky promise." He said and offered me his pinky finger, so we did pinky promise and cuddle for a bit and then he went home, because he insisted that I need to rest for tomorrow and stuff. But I'm just so happy you know, he promised, I mean, he pinky promised that there is only me. He knows how much a pinky promise means to me and just... I don't even know what to say other than just... I'm so so sooo happy wii...

So now I'm going to bed, tomorrow is a big day, so wish me luck. I will report everything as soon as I can. K, bye xxx**

For some reason, I feel sorry why I even read that, I mean she was really head to toe in love with this... I can't even say his name... Gosh, I run my hand through my hair, take a deep breath and scroll down.

**Mai 17, 2014

Heeey, so did you see, did you see??? I was on live show yesterday!!!!**

Hmm... she didn't write for a quite a time, if here she was already on the tv.. It's probably because she didn't have any time and stuff. Let see... I'm thinking to myself.

** Holly eagles, I can't believe what is happening... Oh and sorry I didn't have any time to write, my life just changed so much, I don't even have a time to breathe and can you believe I have fans! Yeah I HAVE FANS!!  They are called warriors, they said that they picked that name, because I posted on youtube my song with a title Warrior, so that's why... 

I know you are lost, so I'm gonna start where I left of hehe... So basically out of the 10 girls they actually picked me, then I went to the booth camp and it was awesome, experience of my live! I learned how to sing more properly, how to perform, how to dance and all the stuff... after the booth camp you go to the judges house and sing for them, so I did that, I went to Simon's house, because he is a mentor of us girls. Meaning he helps us with all the stuff, gives us advice, basically he mentors us... And he even said that I'm ready to go on a live shows! How awesome is that? I still can't believe it, it feels like a dream, I swear! So then I went home and I said to myself: "You know what? There are people out there who are supporting me, so I'm gonna give them something in return. So I posted a youtube videoof me singing one of my own songs called Warrior, as I mentioned it before and the views just keep growing and growing...I can not believe it. It has over 4 millions views, I mean so many people want to watch my videos. It's unbelievable, and for the first time in forever, I feel excepted, like I'm actually worth something, like I'm here for a reason... it's crazy!**

I have goosebumps right now, isn't it interesting how can you picture something so vividly when you are just reading it? Funny how human brain works.. Oh Ashton, now you've gone too far, what are you a philosopher or something. I laugh to myself while shaking my head.

**So after I posted this video, #Kendallswarriors started trending on twitter, then I realized, that I actually have a fan base. A month ago I didn't even have any friends and now I have my OWN fan base! And they were saying all this beautiful stuff about me, how I am beautiful and how I helped so much people with my song Skyscraper and Warrior and that they wanted to be me and stuff, I was tearing up when I was reading all this, I can't explain the feelings I felt while reading this... Really can't. 

Then finally the big day came. Live shows! I was terrified, this time I was singing You lost me by Christina Aguilera. Because of it, I felt even more pressure, I mean, did you hear Christina? Yeah, her vocals are... oh my piggies... I was so scared that I won't be able to get the notes and that I'm gonna fail while performing, or that my voice is gonna crack and stuff like that... When I came to the venue where the live shows where, I noticed, that people were waiting for me. They were screaming, crying, wanting to take selfies with me and stuff... Amazing. I was wondering why wait for me, I'm just an ordinary girl, with nothing special to offer. I must admit, I was so insecure what to do, how do I look and how to act, but I just went with the flow. I'm so thankful for people who are supporting me. So the show went by so quickly, I only remember being so scared, then they called me on stage, I sang, the audience liked it, I went backstage, I was processing what just happened, I went back on stage, they told who didn't make it to the next round and lucky I made it. But now, I'm a little scared, because this time, the judges, in my case, Simon choose a song for me to sing... what if he chooses a bad song for me? Oh who am I kidding, he knows what he's doing.**

Let me tell you Kendall, there is no bad song for you, you can sing anything, okay, I'm sceptical about metal and stuff, but let's be real here, Simon does know what he's doing.

**So that is that... I hope i didn't let out something important out. I will tell you if, I will remember anything else. So yeah, now I guess here is to a new me, the old me is officially gone and I just realized that I'm starting to live my dream... I'm just so thankful for all that is happening. I must be the luckiest girl on the planet. How awesome is that? It's pretty awesome, I say..

Oh and if you are wondering me and Josh are great, absolutely great, well he didn't officially asked me the question yet, but I think someday in the future, he might.. I mean he is so supportive and understanding, he was by me every step of the way, I mean not physically, through the phone, we texted and facetimed all the time, so yeah, turns out, there is a better life for Kendall. So yeah that is it for now, have a great time, K bye xxx.**

And of course everything has to end with Josh, oh this love? I guess... I just wanna hug Kendall, why can't she be here with me right now? I miss her so much it hurts...