Towers | (Ashton Irwin) / #wattys2016

Chapter 22

** "Okay, so how does it feel? You know being famous, people know who you are, people looking up to you, to have the power to speak and that people actually listen?"Ashton asked me, looking at me intensely, how should be a person even able to think, when someone that beautiful is looking at you. Yeah what can I say, he is hot, really hot and I am having a hard time not to stare whenever I am with him. Because his eyes, are just amazing and then his smile and laugh, oh gosh he has the most awesome laugh I have ever heard. When he laughs, you just have to and I mean have to laugh with him, it just lights up the whole world and then his annoying hair... how can even hair stays that perfect all the time, I think he isn't human, maybe he is alien, because I don't think that human can be this cute... **

Wooow again, I feel all my blood in my head, I feel that I'm red as Michaels hair. It's amazing to read this. I can actually see myself in her eyes, still don't have a slightest clue what was so awesome about me to even get her attention, but I got it and I'm forever grateful and now reading this... it was the second time we saw each other and she thought like that about me. I mean, don't get me wrong, when I saw her in the club, I thought she is... like she took my breath away, but I didn't know she felt the same way about me. Which is crazy, because nothing about me is worth of mentioning... I'm just glad that she saw me like that, I mean that I have or had someone who means so much to me, feeling the same way. It's the most beautiful feeling in the whole world.

**..and I don't even know what I was writing about, yeah he completely confuses me... I know is bad. But anywho... I answered him, long and boring as I can be, always saying the same things.

"To be honest, it feels so surreal, I mean, I don't even, like I'm not used to all this attention and stuff jet, it's just so overwhelming.. Don't get me wrong, I love it, every second of it, but the fact that the people from the other countries knows me... it's something. You know, before I started singing, I always wanted to be heard, to help people with my influence, but I never wanted to be famous. Does that even make any sense? I mean, I knew that is the only way, to get people to listen, but with fame comes everything that I didn't want to..everyone is all over your personal life, you have to do what they tell you to do, you have to look all happy all the time and a person can't be happy all the time... but yeah wathever, other then that is wierd, I don't know how to explain. To see people cry when they see me and stuff it's just... wow. But the best part is when I read tweets of some people saying, that I helped them with my songs and stuff. It's awesome." I explained to them.

"But regardless to your songs Skyscraper and Warrior I'm assuming that there was something wrong, like you sing about how strong you are now, does that mean that you weren't always this strong?" Calum asked and my heart dropped. That was the question that I did not want to bring up. I don't want them to know about my... my stuff, that I'm doing and going through. I don't want Ashton to know this. I don't want them to feel sorry for me, I don't want their pity, them to look at me like I'm damaged. And for sure I know, if Ashton will found out I'll lost any chance, because let's be honest, what guy wants to be with a girl who is totally messed up, who can't even be happy. Yeah no one... so if you're asking what did I do... I avoided the question. I just lied, I said that is because my dad left and because my ex. I didn't told them about my mom or that I don't have any friends, or that I was bullied or all the things Josh did. If you look at that way, I didn't even lie, I just didn't tell them the whole truth. **

I don't even know what to think, when she writes something like that my heart breaks. By that time she didn't know she could ask for a help. She didn't know that she deserves help and happiness and all the best things in the world, she didn't needed to lie. We would accept her the way she is or was here. But I think, I understand, she didn't want to say that personal stuff to some complete strangers.

**They asked me a few more questions, like where do I get inspiration to write songs, what instruments I play, where did I learn how to sing and what can they expect from my first album. So when that was out of the way, Luke officially announced that we are now best friends and we went for another group hug. I must say, I could get used to hugging guys like them, they are all something. But if I only get to choose one, who I can hug, my answer would be Ashton and you already know that. So yeah that was that and then I don't even know how I asked them what they wanted to do with their lives...

"Weeeeelll... if we tell you don't laugh." Ashton started, looking first at me then the others.

"Why would I laugh? I won't, promise." I said honestly. But at that time, I thought what the heck, I though I will regret my question, but well... we are besties at the end of the day or aren't we? 

"So... well... ughm..." Ashton stutterd and I was getting impatient, looking over to other boy, they all looked down to the floor like they were ashamed of the answer.

"Spit it out, I didn't asked for you to get naked, I just asked what you want to do with your life." I pointed out, immediately regretting that I said that out loud, now they gonna think I'm some kind of pervert or something... but I wasn't thinking clearly, because Ashton was even more cute when he was shy then normal and don't even ask me how this is possible, because I don't even know the answer myself. And the moment of silence followed my question, but quickly after we all burst out laughing. After we calm down Ashton spoke again.

"Fine, I'll tell you... so we want to make a band, well we are already a band, so I should better say we want to make it as a band, you know, like also famous, because we think that there are too little good bands out there and so we wrote a few songs and we just play around with the sound a little... we are not too serious though but we hope to be one day, maybe..." he finished and I was blown away, by their answer.