Spinning around again

Chapter 16

Kate, Anna and me where sat in the spare room with colour strips and printed out pictures of baby rooms. We where all sat cross legged on the wooden floor with cups of tea in our hands discussing what colour the room should be. Anna came round yesterday so I said she could stay the night and help with us. Kate was scribbling down things we need to buy for the baby and speaking to her mum on speaker phone as she was telling her what I needed during motherhood. Anna was talking to me about Jack, when I'd first told her she was really anger but now shed calmed down a bit. Speaking of which I'd haven't heard from him all week.
"It was probably rushed." Anna said putting two shades of purple together
"Yeah your probably right." I replied swapping the purple for a grey
Kate took the pen out of her mouth and said
"That goes in the like pile." And started talking to her mother once again.
I shook my head and laughed softly.
"He's probably just scared." Anna said
"How does he think I feel? I mean this baby wasn't exactly planned and now I'm going to be a single mum." I said flicking on the next picture on Pinterest.
"Oh I like that." Kate said
I nodded
"Me too."
The door bell rang
"Pizza!" Anna screamed jumping up crazily and raced down stairs.
Seconds later she bounced up the stairs like a little pup with 3 pizza boxes stacked up out of each other in one hand in the other hand she had the bottle of Coke plastic cups and kitchen roll. How she did this I don't know. But it was a funny sight so I laughed. Plopping herself back down she slid the pizza boxes across the floor to each of us and did the same for everything else.
"How much was that?" I asked popping my lid open and smelling the sweet smell of take out pizza.
"£30 but don't worry it's my treat." Anna said and drug into her pizza.
Kate hung up the phone and started eating hers.
"So how's your love life Ann?" Kate asked
Anna shrugged
"Not great." She said "We'll be the loner club with a baby how about that?"
I nodded
"Good plan." Me and Kate said at the same time sending us into pearls of laughter. But that all stopped when my phone started to buzz and guess who was calling. Jack. We stared at the phone for a second shocked.
"Are you going to answer it?" Kate asked quietly
"I don't know. Should I? He might say sorry." I said
"Yeah and he might say he's coming to get his stuff and he doesn't want you in the house when he does." Anna argued, that anger suddenly back
I picked up the phone and slid it across
"Let's find out." I mumbled and placed the phone to my ear sucking in breath waiting for hello.

"Elsa?!" Jack said his voice urgent
"Yes." I replied stiffly
"Elsa can I come round? I need to talk to you."
"So you can insult me and my child again?!" I snapped
"Our child." He said quietly almost upset
Good. He deserved it.
"No Jack my child! You walked away from her." I said slightly softer
What are you doing? The voice screamed yell at him! Scream at him! But I couldn't
"And I want to come back! Please let me come back!" He argued
"Give me a second." I said
Putting the phone on my shoulder I said to the girls
"He wants to come back. He wants to talk."
"Then talk." Kate said
"But not here. At a coffee shop. So he knows that your serious and he can't just walk into your life unscathed." Anna said
They both nodded happy with that and so was I. So that's what i said. We agreed to met up at 1pm at Costa to talk today.
We sat there in silence for a second thinking when I finally blurted out
"I can't believe I just did that." I mumbled
Kate and Anna shook there head
"Neither can I."
"Well let's finish our lunch and then we'll all go together how about that?"I said
They nodded. So that's what we did.

Standing outside of Costa I couldn't help but feel very nervous. Kate and Anna stood beside me, faces serious.
"You don't have to go in there. " Anna said
I shook my head
"I do," placing a hand on my belly "For the sake of this little guy."
Kate nodded and looped her arm around mine and then we went inside. In the way here we'd decide that the girls would sit in the corner for moral support. Jack was already there sitting waiting.
"Do you want a coffee love?" Kate asked
I shook my head. Just in case I wanted to run.
"Ok go get him then."
I walked slowly over to where Jack was sat and pulled out the chair sitting down myself. The girls watching ever step.
"Jack." I said making him look up
And straight away he did the puppy eyes. God. Wow.
"Elsa. Thank you." He said softly "For coming. I wasn't sure you would."
"I did consider it but I keep to my word. Unlike some people."
Jack sighed and took a sip of his coffee before clearing his thought and starting.
"Elsa," he said "I want you to listen to me carefully and without interrupting.i want you to take in ever word I say and understand them as much as possible. Is that ok?"
I nodded stiffly so he began.
"I met you almost 5 years ago now. Remember you where stood at the ice rink with Sam chatting. I'd seen you from far away and instantly wanted to impress you, at first I wasn't really sure why I just wanted you to notice me. So I got onto the ice and started to skate. Trouble was I wasn't very good and I fell over. I remember looking up and seeing you skate over in a whirl wind as you came to my aid. You hauled me back up and checked that I was ok. It wasn't how I wanted for you to see me but it worked. You asked me my name and I told you and then you smiled." He eyes glazed over as he remembered how it happened.
"It was a wonderful smile so pretty and then you skated away. I remember thinking I must learn to skate and get your attention. So I did and finally after 2 years I could skate and we became friends. Then I was just to shy to say anything to you about how I really felt but that feeling kept on growing. Then at the night of the party you said you liked me and I couldn't help but feel amazing. But in the morning I woke up and there you slept sweetly beside me and I couldn't help but feel terrible. You'd been drunk and frankly so had I. I couldn't help but think what if you meant it so I ran." He sucked in breath looking as if he was trying not to cry.
"I was scared when you told me you where pregnant. It's shocked me and scared me. My mind got blocked up. But for a few weeks I was happy, my family was happy, you where happy. Then it kind of hit me properly, I was going to be a dad to a child. And I couldn't fuck up. So I got scared again, I tried to push it away but it got bigger and bigger until I snapped..."
"So you ran away," I injected
Jack looked up at me ready to say something but I held up my hand. My turn to speak.
"You ran away leaving me alone. Did you think I wasn't scared?! Did you think I'd planned all of this to happen?! Don't get me wrong I'm glad I'm pregnant. But I needed you! Our child needed you and you walked away because you got scared." I said almost softly, like I felt sorry for him
"Do you forgive me?!" Jack asked
I shook my head gently unsure
"I don't know Jack, how are you going to make it up to me?! Promise me you won't leave again."
Jack took my hands and pulled them into his own.
"Elsa I promise you with my life I will not walk away any more when I'm scared. Ever. You, both of you, need me just like I needed you. I realise now that you've always been there for me and I've never been there for you but now I'm going to be. Until you don't want me anymore." He promised
I smiled
"But let's take it slow." I said
Jack nodded in agreement
"We rushed into it because of this little guy. Let's go slow and have our first date... On Friday... At 8pm... For dinner at Italia."
Jack nodded again
"Ok ill see you there." He said and took a sip of his coffee smiling
I stood and we said our goodbyes and before I know it I'm being flocked by the girls asking me how it went.