Never Let Me Go (Liam Payne)

Chapter 18 - The Truth Hurts

A/N: I had to update...

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Chapter 18 – The Truth Hurts

I’ve had a very good week -so far-, and Belle is surprised of how well I’m coping, at college. I’m surprised too; but I choose not to show it because that only makes me look weak and I hate that. Nobody needs to see me; look, weak and I hide perfectly. Although, I prefer to lock myself in my room for a day; if someone saw me weak, that is. That is just who I am and quite frankly, I don’t care about how I spend my day. Even if it means hiding under my duvet, I will do precisely that.

It feels like the world needs a piece of me; but I’m glad because no-one is really demanding anything huge, off of me. Not even my tutors. My shoulders feel like they carry loads of baggage; but the saddest this is, is that I don’t even know how what that baggage is. I don’t plan on talking it through with Belle because she will only lecture me. I don’t need or want a lecture, right now. I just need someone to tell me what I need to do because, to be honest. I have no idea. It hurts me that I have to carry this baggage, that doesn’t exist. And I’m desperate to get rid of it. My mum isn’t even around and that hurts even more because she isn’t helping me get through all of this.

My shoulders feel like they carry big lumps of gold, on them, and somehow they won’t be exterminated anytime soon. How can they be if Liam doesn’t show up?

Belle notices that I’ve been having some tough days this week; but I don’t want to talk to her. It will only make my weight feel heavier and I don’t like the idea of that. I don’t like the idea of my weight being rised by: Liam. He’s all what’s on my mind right now and that’s not normal for me. That’s not good. These are not feelings that I normally think of and I’m scared. Scared normally isn’t in my vocabulary; but every time I think of Liam, I become fearless and weak.

I’m a little bird.

Why is he doing this? Why is he avoiding me? Why does he have this effect on me when he’s not near me?

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“So… what are you going to do about Liam?” Belle asks me, as were at our bungalow that morning. We’re sitting in the living room, studying, and Belle comes to sit opposite me with a cup of tea in her hands. She’s a massive tea drinker and practically has six cups of tea a day. I don’t blame her, I love tea too.

“I don’t know. I don’t even know where he lives,” I confess. Belle sits down and puts her laptop on her knees, balancing it so that it won’t fall off.

“But you know where he works right?” she asks me and I smile because I know that I’ve been to that place before. The studio. I remember the roads; but I don’t exactly rem ember the signs. My satnav might be able to help us if I type in the studio name. That normally works.

I ponder my reply for a second because I don’t exactly know what to say. What happens if Belle asks me to go there? To his work? If I go there… I end up looking like a fool and he’s not going to know who I am. He’ll probably think that I’m just another –crazy- fan of his and he’ll have forgotten all about me.

I grow confused for the next minute and I think of the sweet, tendering and passionate kiss that keeps replaying in the back of my mind. Again Belle has to click her fingers in front my face and she finally she grabs my attention after five minutes of: zoning out.

“What are you thinking?” she asks me and I drop my pencil down to look at her.

“He kissed me,” I confess and she chokes on her cup of tea and I chuckle lightly. Shock is written all over her face and to be honest, I find it quite funny. I know she is about to lecture me; but I don’t care. I won’t even listen to what she has to say.

 “Ex-excuseme?” she asks and I nod, trying not to blush. That brunette boy gives me this affect and I hate it.

For a moment, Belle just looks at me and I know what she is trying to do… she’s trying to corner me and make me tell her everything before she can come to a conclusion. Belle’s very perceptive and –sometimes-, I don’t like it but I have to live with it, you know? Moreover, Belle doesn’t know my weakenesses, so - it’s a win-win situation.

“K-Katie… I’m sorry; b-b-but Liam has…” she begins. And something tells me that I’m not going to like what she has to say. Something tells me I’m not going forgive Liam whatever happens.

“Liam has what?” I ask her and she furrows her eyebrows before speaking.

“Liam has a girlfriend… didn’t he tell you?” she says and suddenly my mouth drops.

My heart hammers against my ribcage and something cuts the insides of my soul. Did she really just say that? Did she honestly just tell me that Liam has a girlfriend? Did he honestly kiss me for nothing?! Nothing of that kiss meant anything, to him?!

“Grab your coat.” I growl and she obeys; but she still looks at me with worry in her eyes. I know that, I know that she is worried. But I can’t do anything to stop that.

“Where are we going?” Belle asks me, as I chuck the car keys in her face.

“Oasis studio. I’ll point you in the right direction,” I tell her and I gulp a load of flem down my throat.

I can’t believe he lied to me. That explains why he hasn’t seen me at all this week. He’s been avoiding me. I know I shouldn’t care; but I do. I really do. How am supposed to sit and doing nothing about this, when that kiss meant nothing to him? He used me and I hate that. I thought that kiss was something passionate and he honestly wanted to see me again; but I was wrong. I was so wrong.

Life’s a bitch and I hate this mood that I’m in right now. I need to do something about it before I hurt anyone. When I’m in this kind of mood, I speak my mind and I hate it. What comes out of my mouth is nothing I can reverse or apologise for. Nothing can stop me. 

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A/N: You didn't get 5 votes on the last chapter so could you get it for this chapter and maybe a few comments? Any combination of those would be perfect, even if it's just one comment! I love you guys! (Sorry for not dedicating people,xxx)

P.S: I meant what I said on my status' a few hours a go. I'm sure none of you here do it; but you've got to stop sending hate to the lads girlfriends. We are all jealous that they have a girlfriend and we can't deny that; but I can't believe your actually spending your time, sending hate, when you could be shopping.  Leave them and their lives alone. It's not your place to pry.