Lies Behind The Love

Prologue

"Sige Hija, Just Push! I already see the head of your baby!"utos sakin nung midwife na nagpapaanak sakin ngayon.

Nandito ako ngayon sa clinic. At oo tama kayo ng pagkakabasa, nanganganak ako ngayon. Nag lalabor ako mula pa kagabi tapos ngayong hapon lang sinabi sakin na 10cm na yung bata kaya dineretcho na ko ngayon sa delivering room para sa panganganak ko.

I did what the midwife said. I push so hard but every time I did it, I can't breath..pakiramdam ko na uubusan na ko ng hangin. Nahihirapan na kong huminga. Nararamdaman ko ring sobra na kong nanghihina.. Hindi ko alam kung ano bang uunahin kong indahin na masakit sakin.

Lahat masakit sakin ngayon. Katawan ko, isip ko at puso ko. Lahat sila masakit..

Again another pain attact me. It was too much for me, I really don't think I can handle it.. I was only 17 turning to 18 tomorrow to be exact. For crying out loud and yet I'm here in this DR crying in pained because I got pregnant by the man who used me just to have his pitiful revenge in our family!

I want to hate him and curse him to death! I want to slap and punch his face so hard for being a Jerk and asshole! My mind will surely agree but what about my foolish heart? It was a traitor! Still a traitor! Its like my heart has its own mind defeating my brain cells in every decisions I have to make when it come to love.. He hurts me so much but here I am.. I am still in love with him!

I still want him to be with me..and I'm still hoping for him to love me again just like before. When he didn't knew who's my father is. How can I be so pathetic like this?

"Doc, kakabitan ko na po siya ng oxygen. Hindi na po siya makahinga ng maayos." naulinag kong sabi ng isang nurse sa kanang bahagi ng ulunan ko. Basta naramdaman ko na lang na may kinabit siya sakin na Oxygen mask, at hindi ako pwedeng magkamali dun.

Gusto ko sanang tignan kung sino yun pero hindi ko magawa sa sobrang panghihina. and my vision is blurring too.. Halos hindi ko na makita lahat ng malinaw. hindi ko alam kung dahil ba sa luhang lumalabas dun o dahil sa unti unti na kong dinadalaw ng antok ko..