Human Canvas :: a.i [slow updates]

Chapter 17

Ashton's POV

I throw my weight on my rather small bed and cover my face with my hands. Everything was supposed to be cleared out today, everything was supposed to be fine, but instead everything is a mess.

God, how I wanted to tell her that I can't be just friends with her smile, with her lips, with her body.

She's so precious, so special, like a cliché breath of fresh air into my life.
I'm undeniably infatuated with her. My whole being screams that I want to be with her, and although I told her I'm not ready, I lied.

I got over Juliet already. I think.

Either way, I'm ready to hop on a boat with Alma and get lost with her on the sea.

I sound so melodramatic, so absolutely ridiculous, but I can't help this feeling. I can't help the heart breaking feeling her words caused me.

"Come on, she's not even that hot." Calum grins as he takes a sip of his beer, trying to help me feel better.

"Dude," Michael scoffs, "did you look at her? She's fucking gorgeous." He says and Luke shoots him a glare.

"Guys," I groan, "it's not about that! I think I'm falling back on the irreversible spiral of love." I whine and cover my face with a pillow, "and she is incredibly hot. Fight me Calum."

Luke grins and sits down next to me, "I understand how you feel. But it's obvious that she likes you. Just give her time."

I nod, yet not fully agreeing with him.

It's possible that she feels the same, but not to the same extent. Plus, I fell as if time is only going to pull us apart instead of bringing us together.

Fuck. Why did I get myself into this? I already knew that rejection hurt like a bitch so why even bother?

"Thanks, bud." I say and uncover my face to show a small and obviously fake smile.

"Cheer up buttercup," Calum speaks again, only to piss me off even more.

If there's one thing about Calum, is that he's simultaneously the best and worst friend ever. He just alternates between those two stages until he eventually gets punched by one of us. And today it's gonna be me punching him.

"Shut up, Calum." I plea, shooting him a glare, but he just laughs it off.

"This is serious Cal," Michael snorts, "Ash is in need of a love doctor. And that, ladies, would be me."

I sigh, but I can't fight the corners of my mouth turning upwards slightly, in a small smile.

"So, Ashton Fletcher Irwin," he starts and I groan loudly, "tell me what's going on in your love life."

"I'm not doing this." I inform harshly, and Luke glares at me.

"Do it," he says and I furrow my eyebrows "it might be good for you."

I shake my head and Luke slaps my arm, as if telling me to obey.

Michael raises an eyebrow as he waits for my response.

"Well..." I straighten my back, "there's this girl..." I start, not feeling too happy about this whole situation.

"What's her name?" Michael questions and I make him a face.

"Alma." I growl.

"What's she like?"

"You've met her." I scoff.

"I can't recall." He grins yet disposes a rather serious face.

"She's..." I start and my mind wanders off to her. What exactly can I say about her? Every adjective I might use seems so dull. "You know when you're reading a book before bed and you know you're supposed to sleep but the story is just so involving that you can't stop?" I say embarrassingly and my friends smile.

"Wow," Michael says mockingly, "sounds like we've got ourselves another lame ass boy in love."

"I'm not in love!" I snap and Calum laughs out loud.

"You're almost there, then!" He says.

"Shh," Michael retorts, "I'm the doctor, I give the diagnosis."

I fidget with my fingers as I think about what I'm actually feeling. It can't be love, it's not only mere attraction, but then what is it?
I feel as if I'm walking towards being in love with her, and I've been so hurt in the past, is that something I really want? Do I want to put myself out there like that, for someone who might not even be worth it? I sigh and rub my face with my hands. It would be much simpler if I knew how Alma is feeling. Perhaps I could be less scared if I was sure my feelings were reciprocated.

"Well, doctor," I look up at Michael and he nods, "what is the remedy for this?"

He just chuckles and places his hand on his chin, thinking about what's a good cure for my incredibly hopeless state of in between love.

"I think the best option is just to start over." He informs as if it were obvious.

"What do you mean start over?" I question and feel some sort of spark of hope inside me.

"I mean, like..." he shifts on his uncomfortable seat on the bedroom floor, "take her on a date. Ask her out and start over, forget that you were forced to hang out and make her comfortable around you. Maybe the confusion will eventually go away. For both of you."

Michael is the smartest, smoothest, motherfucker I've ever met. Ever. I get up and lean towards him, grabbing his face in my hands. In a quick motion, I place my lips to his and pull away, leaving him socked and Luke killing me with his gaze.

"You're a genius Mikey!" I say and ruffle Luke's hair before sitting back on the bed.

This could actually work. Taking Alma on a comfortable date and talking to her as a friend, starting over, it might make her feel less scared and more ready. It's all a matter of time after all, and I'm sure we'll get along and things will work out just fine.

I can't contain the smile that spreads across my face, and I just feel like picking up my phone and calling her right at this moment.

____

Hey lil muffins!!!! How are you??? I missed you guys so much!!!!!!

So here's another short chapter! I've decided that the chapters will be shorter from now on so it can be easier for me to write since like I've said before, the motivation to write this is almost at 0%. But I won't stop! I won't stop writing it until I finish it!!!!

Thank you for being patient and I hope that from now on, since I've started planning more stuff for this story, I'll update more often! Also I'm planning a cute date for ash and alma jsndbdndn

I love you all so so so sooooo much you have no idea!!!

PRETTY PLEASE VOTE AND COMMENT OR ELSE I'LL BE REALLY UNMOTIVATED LMAO THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you're into kpop pls follow my acc teahyunq and fangirl with me about whatever kpop idols you're into skdndnbs

Also don't be scared to pop me a message here anytime and be my friend!!!

Love,

Claudia