Dear Diary

Chapter 3

SORRY FOR THE LATE UPDATE D: i just had alot on my mind that i couldnt put into words. I ran it all out. :) This is just a rant about him, you know? 

Dear diary,

Why is he so perfect? Everything he does has something beautiful that I'm attracted to. His laugh, his smile, his weirdness. Everything about him is perfect. I wish I could tell him how I feel. It would just ruin everything though. I'm scared he would ignore me and that would hurt me more than everything I have experienced so far in this life. 

Honestly, he is better than My previous crush.  My previous crush was a jerk who just did what society think was cool. He picked on people in a lower rank than him and thought it was cool. I sincerely regret having a crush on him. Yes he was sweet at times, but that was only when we were alone. Ec (that's what I will name him) is different. He is the same around everyone and is always cheery and bubbly. He doesn't give two shits about what people think of him, and is the sweetest guy ever. He even told me not to hurt myself when I was doing sport. I don't know about you, but I found that pretty sweet. I found his FAVORITE genre of music, and tried it out. It's called electro house music. I youtubed it and the thumbnails were kind of expected. Haha. I'm not forcing myself to like this music, i actually like it. Rnb was getting kind of boring anyway. 

We had breakfast together! Yay~! I'm not like the girls who care about how they eat in front of their crush. I just ate a bacon and egg burger and 2 hashbrowns and he even told me that it's cute that I actually eat in front of him. He called me a nickname, 'poohead'. I found that funny because he was just like, 'hey poohead, 7;40.' I found it really funny haha. I wish I was his age. Then it might of been possible. 

Today, I finished my sport and he was reffing a game for the seniors. Honestly, I want to d better at sport for him. I know it's stupid, but yeah. I really like him so I know that it wild also help me. In a way, it's my own motivation. I know that he would be proud of me. He isn't very happy these days. I don't know why, but he just seems restless and soulless. I want to cheer him up. When he's sad, I'm sad. I just realised, I fell too hard. Since you already know, I'm 14 years old. The problem is that...he's 18. I know it's stupid but I believe that there is no age for love. Yeah, corny I know. 

He offered to drive me to the sports thingi once. But he saw my face and told me that his friend would come with us. I insisted that it would be fine, but I guess he thought it would be awkward. They kept checking up on me throughout the trip. His friend was driving as well. I joked about not trusting him on the road but I guess he took it seriously. Weird. He seemed really insecure these days as well. Like nervous. I know it's too much to ask, but if he liked me back, even a little, I would be over the moon. Actually, I would just faint. He's so perfect and I'm just me. He's good at sports, I suck. I turn into a beetroot when ever I play sports. I hate that so I'm going to work on my tan over the holidays. Apparently it helps so you don't run red during sports? If its true, then I'm trying it out. Definitely. I think he would be back for the boys next year as well so yeah. I hope he is.  

- whoever you thought about throughout some of this, its who you truely love -

P.s it isn't D. I found someone more perfect. His name will be Du