Dear Diary

Chapter 15

Dear Diary,

  Today is one of those days where you feel famous. You see, since our school does multiple sports every term, we would need to take team photos. That means, you wild have to go in and out of classes to take them. I'm in 3 photos. Our grades cohort, tennis and volleyball.

Honestly, I was looking forward to the volleyball photos until I found out that Du can't make it. Honestly,I hope he does, but since he is out of school, he is busy. If he doesn't make it, I would be happy beyond words.   

Talking about Du, I think I fell harder than I wanted, or expected. Well I think I'm getting my hopes up, but I think he may like me a little. I have been talking to M quote a lot these days and we just talk about corny scenarios. For example, here's a scenario for all the girls out there.   

You get rally mad at your boyfriend because he mentioned something you hate. He tries in any way, to get forgiven. When you storm off, he grabs your wrist, spins you around and hugs you until you say it's ok.   

Sigh.  

Honestly, Du is my dream guy in one package. He is my height, but if he was a bit taller, I would like him to no end. Recently, my friend B told me that I'm only young. And Du isn't worth it. Thing is, I think he is worth the risk. The bigger the risk, the better the prize right? I also talked to my sister about Du and dating. She told me its perfectly fine, but no one is aloud to hurt me apart from her.    

She, in other words, told me to be careful. Thanks to our age gap, if he does anything sexual, then he goes to jail. I want to wait but I also want to date him now. I'm a greedy person so....yeah. I think it's that I watch a lot of comedy/romance tv shows. Like how I met your mother. If Duane and I somehow date, then I would be too happy. Another reason why my sister is fine about me dating someone a few years older than me is because her 15 year old friend, is dating someone who graduated last year, an 18 year old.  

Ok so I have this thing where I believe in 'psychological facts'. I think they are just suspicions but most of the time, they are true. I was discussing with M about it last night and we found a random fact that we think is true.   

'If a guy looks at you for about 5-10 seconds, he has a crush on you.'  

If this is true, then I'm going to faint, because in every training, our eyes connect for more than 8 seconds. When I read this fact, I was honestly so happy. But then I remembered, there's about no way that he would like me because I'm not in the same social group.   

Ok so I'm really getting annoyed by nic these days. So quite a while ago, our group went to see the conjuring. By the way, the conjuring was apparently one of the scariest movies. So throughout the movie, I held nice hand. Bad. Bad. BAD move. I thought he would just get over it so I held his hand. But no. Way off. He mentioned it today like he was boasting about it. It is really starting to annoy me how he thinks he is top dog. If I was in a state school right now, I would have given him a bloody nose by now.   

So today, our school had photos so as usual, I went to get my photo taken its the rest of the volleyball team. I almost punched A in the face. So a teacher was asking about Du and Morgan and since they told us that they couldn't come. So as a polite (lol) person, I answered the teacher and said that du and Morgan can't make it. A just said, out loud, 'of course you would know about him. -scoff-' I clearly told her that I don't want to start any rumours about me liking him anymore and SHE FUCKING DOESN'T UNDERSTAND. GOD. IF I SAID ONE WORD ABIUT WHO SHE LIKES TO ANYONE, SHE CAN GET PISSED AT ME, BUT WHEN SHE BREATHES ONE WORD ABOUT WHO I LIKE, APPARENTLY IT'S FINE. IT'S LIKE WHATEVER SHE DOES IS FINE, BUT IF ANYONE ELSE DOES THE SAME, IT'S NOT ALOUD. WHAT. THE. FUCK.   

Sorry. I just snapped. Also, my friends are also mentioning it a lot as well. I clearly tell everyone to act like they don't know, but noooooooooooooo. Sometimes, I'm just in the mood to punch everything.   

So we went on a Chinese trip today. We went to a Chinese restaurant and ate. Everything was going fine until ash got annoying. She is older than all of us so you would expect her to be well behaved and mature. At first, I didn't mind her immaturity. Then it really started to kick in. I'm sorry ash, but I would choose N over you because I have known her for longer and I owe her ALOT. So about being immature, I don't think you get it. She makes annoying animal noises which I actually didn't mind, but now it's getting annoying. She even said once, as a joke, 'lol I'm only using you for the free coffee.' I almost cried. But then she said it was a joke and treated me for the next week. 

N is a major germ-a-phobe so when she thinks something is dirty, she doesn't touch it. Ash started wiping dirty chopsticks on N and thought it was funny. We all told her to stop,but she didn't. I was honestly about to slap her.

I told everyone in the group yesterday, not to mention Du around anyone apart from the group members, but at the restaurant, she made it so obvious. Here was the conversation. It was about what my phone password was. Ash thought she was being smart and said that it was my crush. I'm not sure f she is blind, but on my keypad, there are no letters. I clearly said it was four digits. Du's full name has five. So she said is it (the last four letters)? Thing is, I clearly told her that I don't want to mention him in front of anyone.  

And then I whispered, 'remember what I told you? Don't mention him at all.' And then she said, 'it's ok though, everyone already knows.' NO. NO THEY DON'T. THEY THINK THEY KNOW. ITS A RUMOUR. YOU FUCKING JUST FUCKING CONFIRMED THE FUCKING GODDAMMIT RUMOUR, I CLEARLY TOLD YOU THAT I DON'T WANT A REPEAT OF LAST YEAR, BUT YOU NEVER FUCKING LISTEN. YOU DON'T SEE ME FUCKING GOING AROUND TELLING PEOPLE WHO YOU LIKE??!   

I'm not sure if she knows, but. Have a low tolerance rate when it comes to people who take my secrets as a joke. It's not a joke. I really like him and it took me so long to admit it to myself. I also made two promises to myself.  

1-I will not cut my hair until next year term 3. Trimming is ok.  

2- if I still like du next year, I will confess to him at junior cup.   

-Sakura