Chim - Mirrors

CHAPTER 38

Chapter Thirty Eight

It's almost seven in the evening when she comes back. I'm watching TV when the key turns and she walks through.

And she looks terrible.

She's all sweaty and she's panting like crazy, her eyes sunken and red.

"Jesus Christ!" I jump up from the couch and run to her. Her skin is cold and she's shaking like crazy.

"You should've stayed home!" I growl. She looks at me apologetically and I sigh, rushing her into our bedroom with Patch barking at my heels.

I wrap the blankets around her tightly, but I freeze midway.

She's crying, her face screwed up in anguish and pain.

"Babe, what's wrong?" I brush her hair back from her forehead and she looks up at me.

"I don't know why I act like that." She whispers.

"Act like what?"

"Always saying she isn't my real mother..." She mumbles. I sigh and shake my head.

"I didn't mean to make you upset-"

"No, you didn't, I just...I always had that attitude. That I-I shouldn't care about them too m-much cause they were gonna eventually l-leave me and they did. And I just feel like if I convince myself t-that I never really c-cared...it won't hurt as much that they're gone-"

"Oh, Cheryl." I pull her toward me, wrapping my arms around her and she breaks down crying against me. I can feel my own tears welling in my eyes and I blink them away.

"It's okay to be upset-"

"N-No! I've b-been hurt s-so much in m-my life, Kimba, I c-couldn't handle c-caring a-about them and l-losing them so I t-tried so hard to c-convince myself that I-I didn't care and then they d-did leave me and sometimes it j-just h-hurts so m-much-"

"Shh...you don't have to explain anything." I tell her, pressing a kiss to her temple.

"I miss her so much sometimes, Kimberley." She whispers. 

"I know..." I whisper back, thinking of Cindy. Her fingernails dig into my hip and Patch suddenly jumps onto the bed and rests on my stomach beside Cheryl, licking her hand gently. I press my lips to Cheryl's forehead.

"I think you have a fever, babe." I tell her.

"I don't feel good." She says, sighing.

"Anything wrong with your breathing?" I ask, frowning. She shakes her head.

"No, I just...my stomach, a-and I feel all hot, but cold-" 

"You should never have left." I sigh. 

"I know I just didn't wanna break down in front of you." She says, biting her lip. I lift her head to look at me, scoffing in disbelief.

"Cheryl, I love you. You can break down and throw things and have a tantrum and tell me you hate me and I will still love you and I will still be here. How many times have I broken down in front of you?" I say, chuckling. She grabs my fingers and starts playing with them, refusing to meet my eyes.

"That's why I can't break down. I need to be strong for you-"

"No. We're each other's strength, alright? You're here when I need you, and I'm here when you need me." 

"I know..." She whispers. I sigh and kiss her forehead again.

"I'm gonna get you some pills to help with your fever and upset stomach and then you're gonna sleep, okay?"