Dead Sea // Harry Styles

Chapter 7

It's been a few hours since Harry and I's 'touchy' moment accured, or however you would like to call it. A few hours closer to the nearest town. A few hours closer to finding home. Ever since then I have been pacing around the train car debating if I should jump or not. It's obviously a risky dessision but it wouldn't be my first encounter with death. All this time of being stuck here with Harry I know nothing about him. What if his intentions arn't what I are? I know I shouldn't trust him but I do. He saved my life after all. But to think of it I saved his as well. So we are kind of stuck at the ends of a sick love tie, holding on by a thread. I should get to know him though. Like i said before, we are stuck together, even if we like it or not. 

I walk over to the wall and sit down next to Harry looking at the wall infront of us. He's looking out the open part of the car. I can't help but wonder what he is thinking about. It's been really silent ever since his promise to me. Not one of us has tried to talk even though I can tell we both have a thousand thoughts crossing our minds. Urging to be spoken they are not. All I want to do is get to know him. I would want him to know me. But I can't remember the past year and some more. I just have to do it. Just speak.

"Harry." I say out of confidence. 

"Hm?" He replies. Short answer, maybe he doesnt want to be talking to me?

"I don't know anything about you. It worries me kind of. I am stuck with you, and know nothing."

"Well I don't know a whole lot about you either." He condemns. 

"That's not my fault really. Can't you just tell me a bit about yourself?" I look over at him. He's still looking out into the distance of the passing scenery. 

He smiles. "What would you like to know?"

"Everything." I cross my arms over my knees. 

"I don't know if I can tell you that.." His smile fades.

"Why not? All I'm asking for, is you telling me something so I know I'm not stuck with a lunitic." My eyebrows furrow.

"My favorite color is gree.. I have an older sister, Gemma. My cats name is Dusty, he lives with my mum. I like to watch movies and read books, and I also have no idea what else to say." He looks over at me with a straight face as if he didn't want to tell me any of these things. "Is that enough?"

"What's your middle name?" I ask

He stares out to the scenery again. "Edward. What's yours?"

"I think it's Anne." I reply

"That's my mums name." He smiles his childish smile again. 

"I'll tell you about myself alright? But not everything." 

I nod, excited for what he has to say. 

"I'll start from the time I realized I wanted to sing. So when I was little my sister would always put on these 'shows' and I was always watching her while she was dancing on the table. She would sing and she asked me if I wanted to sing a duet. I agreed and we sang an old Elvis song. Ever since then I knew. fastforward about 11 years and I auditioned for X-Factor and fast forward 3 years, now I'm stuck on a train with you. And maybe someday I'd like to tell you more." His eyes met mine. "Now, I know you remember your childhood so tell me about you."

 Not satisfied wiith his answer I knew it would pain him to tell me anything else. He didn't really tell me much, but a little is better than nothing at all. I give in and try to make my answer more revealing. "Erm, I grew up in Washington State. I have a dog named Teeva who I despise. My parents are divorced. When I was about 13 my cousin killed herself, sometimes I blame it on me because I was the one who always helped her, I was the only person she let in to her screwed up mind.  It was a sad day. She lived in a different state so I'ts not like we were super close anymore. But she did trust me the most. She told me everything." I look down at the floor it became blurry due to the tears forming in my eyes about the painfull memory. Harry puts his arm around me for comfort. I wipe my eyes so I don't look effected by the hurt. It happened long ago. "Sorry. I don't know  why I still cry over this." I mutter. 

"Don't be sorry. It wasn't you fault. You tried to help her. Sometimes people are just so hurt,  they our past  the point of help. They are gone before they even really left. You know my uncle once told me 'It is not of how we are disfigured but as long as someone understands we are. Then we can have our peace.' I'm sure she found her peace, sadly it had to end that way." He rubbed my back in large circles calming my breathe and heart pace. The touch of him soothed me. The thought of him caring warmed me. And the notion telling me 'he understands' healed me. And with that I am at peace. 

I lift my head up wiping the tears that i never let hit the floor. "Why are you so secretive? I can tell you don't let anyone in." He laughs a nervous laugh. "Why are you so nosey?" He grins. 

"I'm not. I just like to get to know people. Excpecially when I'm stuck on a train with them..."

"Well, Im the oppostie. I don't like to get to know people because they always want to get to know me afterwards."

"You told me to tell you about myself though..." My smile fades and my tone grew serious. He looked at me like I just figured him out.

"I still wont let you know me." He spat. His eyes became dark like wood that has been burnt to the ground. What he is telling me doesnt make any sence. Maybe he only asked about me to get the subject off of him. 

"Why? are you afraid or something?" 

"No I'm not afraid. Why would I be fucking afraid? It's just that one day, we wont know eachother anymore. One day, you will be back in America and I will still be here, worrying since you are the only person who knows everything about me and you would go off to tell someone else, because you know, who wouldn't want to sell my story to some bloke writer to make thousands and not think about the consiquences of ruining my life?! Because I know that thought wont cross your mind while he gives you the damn offer. And to add to the fact I'm not comfortable with you knowing more about me then youself! Alright? Is that enough of an answer?! I can easliy go on!" He yells, clenching his fists. He harshley brings them down to the floor hitting it hard. The white knuckles turn red slowly but surely. He huffs and puffs trying to let off his anger calmly.

"Sorry I'll leave you the fuck alone then huh?" I answer back. "You know what screw you! All I wanted to do was get to know you so I feel more safe. So I can know that I trust you!" I still do. Why should I trust him? It's a relevant question, but I don't have an answer that goes well with it. I just do. 

I get up and sit on the other end of the car so I can let him cool down from all the steam he just let out. His face and knuckles are still red with aggression. I shouldn't have upsetted him that baddly. He could of responded in a calmer way. Maybe that's his thing, scaring off anyone that wants to get close to him? The other four boys seem fine with him though. Before this moment he was so kind and cheeky. His laughter seemed genuine and his happiness spreads. What is happening? Was that even the real Harry?