The CoDas: Reboot [By Hex]

Chapter 16: Burden

Is this how it feels to die a slow death? To bleed out slowly as you lie on the ground, staring at the sky as you take your final breaths?

I asked myself that question as I raised my foot, huffing and puffing out the air in my lungs. Walking upwards on the trail.  Every CoDa says in the beginning how their species are basically humans who have been revived from the dead into their spiritual form. They think that nothing bad has happened since they don't feel any pain during The Awakening and they're basically a ghost. 

Everything is achieved by some kind of sacrifice whether fatal or nonfatal. You can't achieve something without losing something in return.

I and many others, including Zack, always thought differently about that. We believed we didn't have to feel pain or lose something in order to achieve the status of a CoDa. We thought the pain would come during that phenomenon, The Awakening, during the moment when we are at the absolute despair against the Colorless that attacked us. I and many others were foolish enough to think that way. 

 The true pain begins afterward...

We walked through the trail in the forest, quiet and dark. The sky was filtered with a texture of orange and blue. I got a little bit dizzy from time to time while we were on the trip. Zack was still near me, I didn't know where exactly he was but I knew he was spectating.

My uncle walked up beside me, breathing a little heavier than I did. He then stopped for a bit to catch his breath. I turned around to wait for him, "You okay?"

He took in some air then spoke, "Yeah..."He breathed a little more then said again. "I think it's my old age kicking in."

"Ridiculous!" I spouted out, "You're 35. You're not old yet".

"Oh come on, have some sympathy. I just came back from police duty and now I have to hike a tall hill with my nephew."

That statement just sprung up a thought in my mind, but I lightly laughed it off to avoid him having any concerns for me. Uncle Kello then stood straight and started walking again. I walked along with him. 

Am I a burden?

That thought stayed in my head. I started looking back at everything I use to do after Kello took me in. 

Idiot. Moron. Monster. Maniac! Demon. Jerk. Violent. Son of a devil. Fuck You!

Everyone tempted me, pissed me off, and I would get angry then hit them. I hit them and then they claim to be the victim, and I would either be suspended or expelled. Uncle Kello would pick me up and then would have to choose a different school for me to go to. He seemed to always be saddened by the fact that I get into fights but he doesn't complain about it. 

Even though many students would tempt me. I would feel saddened by the fact that I hurt someone but I would never apologize, they don't deserve an apology from me. I'd just keep quiet about it. 

I looked at my uncle, who was observing the nature while walking up the trail. I realized that the leaves were slowly falling off the trees, autumn was approaching. 

"Uncle..." I spoke out.

He looked over at me. "Yeah, what is it?"

 "It's always been this way, hasn't it? The seasons. Spring is the beginning as winter is the end, sometimes the other way around for anyone with a crooked mind out there but either way, It goes in circles every year."