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At Fault?

I was back home with my brothers and sisters. I was on the floor of the living room watching Shelly and Shack babble and play. Iggy was playing his video games. Ashley was comfortably drawing with her coloring pencils. Hannah was in her bedroom as usual doing whatever.

I made it through the day without being pummled by Nick. I knew he wouldn't forgive what I have done, and I don't plan on dealing with him.

My phone rung for the hundredth time today.

Ashley sighed, "Why don't you pick up your phone?"

I answered with a smile so she wouldn't worry, "I just want to avoid contacting people."

She asked, "What happened?"

I answered, "Something a seven year old wouldn't understand."

She asked, "What do you mean?"

Suddenly, my phone rang again. This time I took a look at it and gasped.

Krysta was calling me.

I still did not pick up my phone. I had no idea what to do. I had no idea how she will respond to me, or me to her.

I got my phone and took the battery out. I was tired of the rings.

Later at night time, I went to bed. I didn't fall asleep for a while. I couldn't help but stare at my batteryless phone.

Just then, I felt something in me break. I wanted to know if Krysta was okay. I wanted to hold her, so she wouldn't fall apart. I wanted to touch her again. I hoped that she was okay. I was the one that always made sure she was safe.

Now it was my fault that she could never feel safe with me. I betrayed her trust.

But I wanted to see her. I wanted her.

My brain kept arguing between two facts: I hurt her, so I shouldn't go near her, and I want her, so I should see her.

I knew it was Monday night, but I still got up from my bed. I changed to day clothes. I snuck out and started my way to Kyrsta's house.

My need for her overpowered my reasoning.