You're A Mess, Tangled With Your Confidence

Reply

Jane laughed and I couldn't help but smile. Her bubbliness was infectious. We were walking to the park near my house where me and Dirk hung out and just then I felt my phone vibrate. I checked. I wasn't too surprised to see it was Dirk. I was honestly kind of mad at him although I wasn't sure exactly why. He had lots of explaining to do. Especially since I lost my memory that weekend...I noticed we had made it to the park and I clutched my phone, not sure what to do. 

"Jake?" I was shook and I looked up to see a worried Jane. I had satten down on an rickety picnic table. I curled some of my hair in the front of my face with my fingers instinctively. 

"Sorry Jane. I didn't mean to ignore you." I said apologetically. She smiled and touched my wrist, pulling my hand away from my hair. 

"It's fine Jake. I was wondering if you were going to answer your phone or not. You tend to daze, huh?" she said nicely and I smirked. She wasn't wrong. I felt a foreboding feeling in my stomach when I thought about that weekend. It was like a hole had been made inside of me somewhere. It didn't feel safe, and I didn't know why. It frustrated me to not know why I had forgotten what I had. I felt robbed. I noticed I was ignoring Jane again and I shook my head, giving an awkward chuckle. 

"Yeah I do, don't I?" I asked softly, feeling the depression inside of me slowly growing. I had been fine up until that day. I remember the feeling of panic that I felt not knowing what had happened. I chewed on my lip, staring misty eyed in no certain direction. Jane took a seat next to me on top of an old lunch table that was made of wood. She swung her legs back and forth and I felt her eyes inspecting me.

"Are you okay Jake? Really okay? Not like the fake 'how are you' okay but you know what I mean." She said and I turned to her and opened my mouth to speak. When I realized I wasn't sure how to answer. Am I okay? I didn't really know. I frustratedly sighed, dragging my hands down my face. Why were emotions so damn complicated? I then turned back to Jane, as she patiently waited for me to answer. 

"I'm honestly not sure. I don't think Dirk told you what happened. Or if he told anybody actually." I said slowly, looking her directly in the eye. I would have normally been too nervous to do this but I wanted to be honest with her. I realized what I was doing and flustered a bit. 

"I don't think so? If you want to tell me, you can. You know I'm here for you Jake." she always had that soft tone in her voice. I nodded, looking down to notice I was still holding my phone. I raised an eyebrow when I noticed I received about 20 texts from Dirk. I didn't want to be rude in such a serious conversation so I put it down. 

"Well. . .it's hard to explain. It sounds kind of silly now when I think about it. I hung out with Dirk and I ended up spending the weekend at his house. Seems normal, right? I woke up Monday morning and I couldn't remember what happened that weekend. I still can't. If I do remember, it only comes in small fragments....This sounds stupid, huh?" I said quickly, playing it down although in retrospect it was a pretty major thing.

"No, no it doesn't sound stupid. It sounds... scary. I wouldn't know how I would feel in that situation. I probably can't relate to how you must be feeling right now.." She said, looking at the trees around us. Strange, she reminded me of someone. But who? I found myself staring and gulped, pretending it never happened. I really hoped she didn't notice. I again felt a small swarm of butterflies in my stomach. I felt kind of guilty. I thought about Dirk and how he was my first actual friend here. I smiled, thinking back to the phone next to me. 

"I'm glad you don't think I'm insane or anything. You're a really good friend Jane." I said to her as she leant down to pick a nearby flower. She sat back up holding it and she turned and beamed to me. I blushed. Why do they both have to be so cute? I didn't ask for this. But I was glad I met both of them. 

"Thanks Jake, that means a lot to me. Here." She leaned near me and placed the flower in my hair. I laughed a bit at this, since I found it adorable. Jane giggled and I slowly picked up the phone, hesitantly looking at the screen. She saw who the texts were from and she gazed at me for a moment.

"Well, are you going to answer him?" I surprisedly looked up at her. I didn't expect her to say that. I'm not sure if I was even expecting any of this. I was so unprepared. She was giving me an expectant face and I finally decided I would. 

"Okay you're right. I guess I will then." I slowly tapped the OPEN button on the touch screen.