orphic » jacob black

0.31

No matter what we breed
We still are made of greed
This is my kingdom come
This is my kingdom come
When you feel my heat
Look into my eyes
It's where my demons hide
It's where my demons hide
Don't get too close
It's dark inside
It's where my demons hide
It's where my demons hide

Justice:

Thea's funeral is today.
After a few days of begging, Lily and Jake said they would go with me.

I'm at my house. Jake had patrol and everyone electively decided that I shouldn't be left alone.
My mom and I cried together for a little once we both got home. Now my parents just look at me sadly... Just like everyone does.

I'm a zombie. A shadow of what I used to be. The only reason I keep going is Jake.
Why else would I want to keep on living?
I couldn't leave him. Not now, not ever.

I'm currently curled up in my bed. Not doing anything in particular. Just sitting and gazing off into space. Trying to find nirvana.

The presence in my room changes and Jake walks in, kneeling down in front of me, "Ready to get dressed?" He asks me.

I nod and get out of bed. I go to my closet and pull out the dress the Rose bought me... When we went shopping with Thea.

Poor Thea. She got dragged into a world she wasn't meant to be a part of. She was a normal teenager but because of her friendship with me, she's now dead.

Her death was ruled a homicide but they never found the killer. They never will. Her family will never get answers or closure. She'll never get graduate or get married or have her own family because of me.

Jake helps me get dressed. I tie my greasy hair into a messy bun to hide the fact that I haven't showered for two days.

I look at my reflection in the mirror and break down.

"Come here." Jake says sadly, pulling me into his chest.

"It's my fault." I cry, "I killed Thea. She'd be alive if it weren't for me!"

Jake puts his hands on my face and makes me look at him, "JJ, stop that. You didn't kill her. You're a victim just like she was. Blame the Cullen's, the Volturi, your dad, hell even me for her death. But you didn't do anything. Understand?"

I bite my lip and nod, looking down.

"You have no idea how proud I am to call you my girlfriend. You're so strong." He coos.

I just smile and hold on to him tightly. I'll never understand how or why I got so lucky.

Jake and I pick up Lily on our way to the funeral.

None of us say anything in the car. Jake doesn't even put his hand on my thigh because of my stitches.

When we get to the funeral home, there are people everywhere for Thea's funeral. The three of us walk up to the reception and there's a big wreath of flowers with her picture in the middle.