condemned ; kylo ren

twenty six ; kiss

*warning: this chapter I wrote contains some tame smut so don't freak out, ok? ok. if you don't like smut, please don't read. this is legit smut. it will not effect any part of the next chapters if you do not read it.*

(actually please just don't read this chapter right now it's not very good and i need to revise it. as i said before it won't affect anything if you just skip it. stay tuned)

I finally leave Seeder's apartment, which is placed between Kylo and I's, several hours after she moved in.

I stop in front of Kylo's door, feeling somewhat reluctant, my hand hovering over the handle.

I convince myself to enter, barging in suddenly to be met with his body lying still on the bed, staring at the ceiling. In the dark.

"What're you doing?" I ask, amused. He sits up so fast, looking at me with the glow of the hallway outlining my figure. I let my fingers slip from the door and hear it shut behind me.

"I didn't really have anyone to talk to." He admits sheepishly, scratching the back of his head. I smile.

"Do you want me to turn the light on?" I suggest, to which he answers immediately with a shake of his head.

"I can see you fine."

I step closer to him, lowering myself down on his lap and biting my lip. I can see his cheeks tinge pink, even in the dark. I wonder if he's ever been in a relationship like this.

I wrap my arms around his neck and hug him closer.

"I love you so much." He whispers fiercely. I rest my forehead on his, a small smile resting on my lips.

"I love you too, Ky." My voice is barely audible, my gaze intent on his lips. He complies to my hopes; it isn't long before our lips are connected, syncing in equal want and hunger for the other.

I push him down on the bed, my hands flat on the sheets beside his face, my hips straddling his torso.

He quickly turns me over, taking his dominant spot in stride. He kisses my jaw bone lightly and I feel myself shiver, my hands on his chest. I try to turn his lips to mine again but he pulls away, intent on teasing me.

I groan quietly, leaning to kiss his neck, his chin, and eventually, the corners of his mouth, teasing him equally as much. He growls, taking the hem of my sweater. I let him pull it away, revealing my torso.

I'm grateful that he'd asked to keep the lights off; I don't want him to see the ugly scars and bruises that litter my body.

But he does see them; I frown, furrowing my eyebrows with bone-crushing insecurity.

He looks into my eyes, then begins to kiss each one softly, not leaving a single one out; he doesn't forget to let me know how much he loves me between each one.

I can't take it anymore. I sit up, tearing his shirt away to reveal a strong chest and beautifully sculpted abs. He watches me as my eyes slip over the exposed part of his body.

I run my hands over the smooth skin, and he lets his hands rest on the sides of my stomach, his thumb reaching my belly-button and his finger tips touching my bumpy spine.

Knowing I'm ready, I bite my lip and guide his fingers to the clasp of my bra.

He hesitates, and I meet his eyes sincerely, giving him a little nod. He unclasps it carefully as not to rip anything.

We finish taking away every scrap of clothing that'd covered us before, leaving them in a pile on the floor.

I know that I'm a little scared for this; it's my first time.

Kylo is careful with me, pausing every few seconds at the beginning to make sure I'm comfortable. It hurts; then, it starts to feel good, in the way words could never explain.

As he's doing what he's doing, he sucks on the skin of my collarbone, then the hollow of my neck, then my jaw, leaving a trail of dark purple, sore skin, that won't heal for days.

We keep going until we reach the point of no return. I claw at his back, feeling blood trickle from the skin that'd come in contact with my fingernails.

We both finish, breathing heavily.

He holds me to his chest, my face buried between his neck and shoulder, our bodies tangled together in the sheets, kissing my head repeatedly. I shut my eyes.

I never felt so in love with him as I had in this moment.

-

holy s.hit

don't freak out in a bad way ok

it's been quite a few days but I'm happy to be back:))

the next update should come much sooner than this one did!!

also please let me know if this was absolutely terrible...

and I lied slightly earlier, this chapter will play in only a little bit in the future of the book, but not in a way that someone wouldn't understand without reading it.

anyone can assume from the smut warning that they had sex

and if you hadn't assumed that from reading the chapter, THEY HAD SEX

YES

^^^

ok, now that that's cleared up

alright

anyway

thanks for reading fam, it means a lot😎

ily all

kait