condemned ; kylo ren

thirty three ; huts

I must've blacked out.

Someone's shaking my shoulders, and my head hurts harder than if I'd been hung over.

"You must've hit your head." Poe notices calmly, his hands still lingering on my arm.

"Where are we?" I ask, rubbing my temple and contorting my features in response to the shooting pain.

"Your destination." Poe answers vaguely, the corner of his mouth twitching up. Something overtakes me suddenly and I find myself caressing his cheek. His breath hitches in his throat and his cheeks grow rosy.

"I missed you." I admit.

"I missed you too." He raises his eyebrows. He leans forward a bit and I tear my arm away, placing my fingers on his lips.

"You know I love him." I stop him, knowing exactly what he aimed to do. His features sink and he frowns.

"I know." He mumbles.

"Listen, Poe. I'm sorry." I sigh, feeling entirely horrible.

"You're sorry?" He frowns, looking nothing but confused.

"I'm sorry for leading you on. You deserve so much better than me. Find a girl who loves you as loyally as you love me and never let her go." I encourage in what feels like a finalizing tone. Why does it feel like I'm losing him again?

"Mali, come on." Seeder speaks up behind him. My eyes flit to her and I feel a suppressed anger.

If she really wanted me to be happy, why did she take me away from my love?

I can only picture his face in my mind.

"Where are we?" I ask, pushing myself off the floor.

"Takodana." She says immediately, hiking out of the ship with only a small backpack. I follow her with my small amount of belongings. I catch a glance at Kylo's ring still on my finger and blink back a tear.

I don't have time to say goodbye to Poe, as the ship is already lifting out of the forest.

Now, it's me and my sister. Alone.

"I think I hate you." I break the silence, my eyes focused on the weeds crushed by my boots with each step I take.

"That's fine." She responds, obviously paying attention to something else.

We walk for what feels like hours, but really only adds up to about 20 minutes.

"I'm tired." I shout at Seeder, who's way ahead of me now. Sweat trickles down my face and my hair starts to frizz. I can feel every single one of my heartbeats thumping in my chest, as if my heart were trying to break out.

Maybe that'd be good.

I wouldn't have to feel the constant, dull ache of love and lost.

"It's just a side effect." She dismisses.

I drag my boots for longer, starting to grow immune to the never ending scene of green.

But, as things work out, change happens just as you've grown used to something.

My eyes land on large, mud huts in the distance, and I can only think of one thing: water.

I finally sprint ahead of my sister, who yells after me to slow down.

I don't value her words as much as I used to. I choose to do what I want.