A Reason to Stay

Chapter ten

Joshua saddled the horse and left the house. He needed to talk to someone about this. He knew that Payton was grieving too and that sometimes the grief would make you think or say things that later you would regret. She was also pregnant and everyone knew that women in that condition weren't themselves. He needed someones advice and he knew just who to talk to. Malissa had been Eliza's sister and best friend. She also had recently had a baby and would understand what Payton was going through.

It didn't take him long to arrive at the Briggs farm. James was drawing water from the well by the trough. James shielded his eyes against the sun and smiled when he saw it was Joshua. His smile quickly turned to concern, “Everything okay, Josh?”

Joshua nodded, “Well, sort of... James I need to speak to Melissa. You don't mind do you? It's about Payton. I just don't understand women. Don't matter that this is my second one it don't make it none easier.”

James smiled at him, “Don't know that God really wanted us to understand them. I think he just sits up there and laughs sometimes.”

“Then he got a real kick out of this one. I just bought her a gift and somehow it turned into a whole thing about Eliza.”

James made a clicking sound with his tongue and put his arm around Joshua. “Come on in and lets see if Melissa can help you.” He was carrying a pail of water in the other hand. Joshua let James enter first. “Honey, you got some company.” he told his wife.

Melissa was sitting in the chair holding the baby. The boy was playing at her feet. “Joshua!” she exclaimed, “Is Payton with you?” she asked looking around him.

“No but that's why I came.”

Her face fell and she became instantly alert, “Is everything okay? Is it the baby?”

Joshua pulled a chair out from the table and sat down opposite her. “No, nothing like that. It's just.... Well, I need some advice.”

He explained to her about the gift and then how Payton had went from hugging him to yelling at him. He told her how she followed him outside and then accused him of still being married to Eliza. “Has the woman gone mad? Or is it just part of the process, you know the baby and all...”

Melissa was frowning at him. “I don't think this has anything to do with the baby.” she told him.

He stared at her confused. “But that was what started all this. I bought those things for the baby and she went crazy.”

“And you'd be a smart man not to say that about your wife again.” she said sternly. “Joshua, I think Payton's right.”

“What? About what? You're just as crazy as she is.” He turned to James who was standing in the door way, “Please tell me you're on my side.”

James just shook his head, “Josh, you've never really gotten over loosing Eliza.”

Melissa touched his hand, “And I'm beginning to wonder if you ever will. It's been nearly ten years, now. Joshua you have to let her go. She's not coming back...” She sighed heavily and he could tell that what she was about to say was hard on her, “I miss her just as much as anyone. There's not a day goes by that I don't wish she were here to see my babies and my husband. I wanted so badly to hold her baby and love him...”

“You think he was a boy?” Joshua asked with tear brimmed eyes.

Melissa shrugged, “I don't really know but Liza seemed to think it was. So, I just pretend she knew, that God gave her that before she died.”

Joshua stood up and rubbed his palms over his thighs, He cleared his throat and wipes tears from his eyes. “I still don't see what you all see. I don't know why Payton was so upset. She asked me why and I told her. Eliza had mentioned to me once that women go all kooky over them little doo-dads for babies. I just figured that if Payton was like most women she would too...” He looked at them, pain etched in his eyes, “I just wanted to make her smile. She never smiles anymore. Unless it's at the kids of course. We don't talk, we just sit there and pretend to be busy with something or other. Its miserable. I could see why she wouldn't want to be married to me.” He said his body sagged with the pain of his words.