A Reason to Stay

Chapter thirteen

As the weeks wore on, one day at a time, they developed a friendship. They found things to talk about. They didn't talk for hours and they shared more time in quiet than speaking. They talked about their days and anything funny or unusual that had occurred. They sometimes spoke about their lives before. Her's with Thomas and his with Eliza's. Not to much but just small things here and there that they had done together. Little stories that helped them both heal. They talked about their childhoods and their families. He didn't speak about his mother much. He told her about his mom and sister and how they had ran off and left him. She never asked him to explain anything she just listened. She could see he still carried the pain of their leaving with him.

At night they had went from simple good nights to a few brief words or a simple prayer together for a productive and safe new day. It was nice and they were both content to let it take its own time to develop. Yet, it seemed that after two and a half weeks things had come to a standstill. They seemed to not be able to get past the new friends stage.Joshua would give her a simple kiss when he left, usually on the forehead. Their lips had not touched in over a week and the few times they had before that, there was an obvious chemistry between them that they neither one could explain or was comfortable with. There was also always an awkward moment afterwards.

  On this specific day, It was turning cooler out and Payton wanted to scrub the porch once more before it turned cold. She put the children down for a nap and began her task. By mid afternoon she was exhausted and still only half finished. The kids woke up and wanted to help. She was trying to keep them out of the water when she saw Joshua and Jed were coming from the fields. When the children saw the two, they were overcome with excitement. As was the old mutt. Payton tried to stop them before they went slipping and sliding on the soapy porch but both children went sliding. Joshua and Jed were both running and the dog was a rug of dirt. Tommy and Hannah slid to the steps before coming to a halt. Jed jumped up on the porch and started sliding right for the fresh tub of water. Payton tried to catch him before... It was too late. He landed in the bucket turning it over. Water ran down the porch. Joshua who had just jumped up started sliding. His feet went out from under him and he fell right on his bottom. Jed stood up then and shook all the dirt and water from his drenching coat.

Payton squealed and put her hands up to try and prevent the spray of water but it did little to help. The dog ran to the children who were in fits of laughter. Payton looked over at Joshua who was covered in a mix of soap suds and mud splatter. She realized what she must look like and couldn't help but laugh. She was sure they made quite the sight.

Joshua started to laugh too and then went to stand up. He never regained his footing before he was on his seat-end again. Payton erupted in a fit of giggles.

“Oh, that was funny was it?” he asked as he threw a fist full of suds at her.

“Hey!” she yelled and then burst in a fit of giggles again. She scooped up a pile of suds next to her and threw them at him. It wasn't long before the children were joining in and then Jed was jumping around between them barking.

Joshua suddenly grabbed her, pinning her arms at her sides and took a handful of suds in his hand. His eyes were dancing and she couldn't help but giggle.

“No, Joshua!” she pleaded. “I cook your meals!” she warned.

Joshua was just like a child. He put the suds in her face and then laughed. They both rocked back on their heels and she was exhausted with laughter. Joshua fell back and lay sprawled on the porch. Payton leaned over him, a hand full of suds in her hands.

His eyes were closed but a content smile played at his lips. “You wouldn't dare, woman!” he said, his eyes still closed. He opened one eye. Suddenly she felt his arms go around her waist and pull her to him. He rolled ever so gently with her on the porch until he was hovering above her again. “You don't know who you're messing with.” He kissed her head but before he could pull back Payton took his face in her hands and quickly before she lost her gumption she kissed his lips.

“You'd never hurt me, Joshua Owens. I trust you.”

Joshua kissed her lips, soft and long. “I hope you always remember that, too, Mrs. Owens.”

Payton blushed. “Now if you'll let me up, I have a mess to clean up before I find something to put together for our supper.”

Joshua stood up and helped her to her feet. “Let me help you, it was partly my fault.”

Payton laughed, “Yes if you didn't have that mutt...” She smiled, “thank you.”

Together they cleaned the porch and then he cleaned the children as she put together some supper.

That night when he returned from the barn and lay in bed he smiled up at the ceiling with his hands cradeling his head. “I haven't had that much fun in a long time.” he told her.

They both lay looking at the roof. “I know I haven't laughed that much in ages.” she said. “I felt so...”

“Alive” he finished.

She looked over at him and saw that he was looking at her in the moonlight.

“Yes, alive.” she said. She couldn't make out his features and she couldn't see his eyes but she knew he was looking at her the same way Thomas once had. It was night, the children were asleep and they were alone in the bed with only thin pieces of cloth separating their bodies. She wasn't sure she was ready for that.

“Payton?” he asked finally.

“Yes, Joshua?”

“Would it be all-right if I held you?”

Payton felt chills come over her body.

“nothing more, just held you.” he assured her.

Payton thought about it for a long couple of minuets. “I think we can try.” she told him, “It might be okay...”

Joshua stiffly put his arms around her body. After a few minuets she started to relax and he pulled her closer to him. He felt her go tense again. “I'm just trying to make us both more comfortable, Payton. I'm not gonna.... I wouldn't.....”

Payton told her body to relax but it refused. “I know Joshua.” she told him, “It's just hard not to be nervous.”

Joshua laughed and when he did she realized how close his mouth was to her ear. “Believe me, woman, I know. I was afraid you could feel me shivering with nerves.”

Payton laughed a little. “I guess we're both in the same boat.”

Joshua placed his face in the back of her neck. “I'm glad that you're here. With me. Now. Like this.”

She could feel his moist breath on her neck and his lips brush her skin with each word. She was still tense but now it was from the feelings he was evoking from her. There was something so different about this man. She realized that he affected her in a much deeper way physically than her first husband had. Lord is this wrong that I feel so attracted to this man? She asked silently.

Joshua hadn't held a woman this way in ten years and his body was reacting to it in a very strong way. His heart wasn't far behind. He remembered how he had held Eliza at night and stroked her hair and whispered to her how much he loved her. He felt a lump growing in his throat remembering those tender moments. Now here he was again. In the same bed holing a different woman and enjoying it as much as he had with Eliza. Yet he didn't feel guilty. He only felt happy.

Payton was relaxing a little more and so was he. He buried his face deeper in her neck and instinctively kissed her there. “Good-night, Darl...Payton.” he stopped himself from using the nick name he had so often used for his young bride Eliza. It wouldn't be fair to either woman. He would have to find a new name for this woman. For she was definitely a woman. His body was telling him that and it didn't matter that her belly was swollen with child, she was a beautiful woman. A woman he just might be falling for.