A Reason to Stay

Chapter fourteen

Payton was full with child and she hadn't felt like accompanying Joshua to town today.He had taken Tommy with him as usual. “I'd take her if she would sit still but I'm afraid I couldn't hold on to her. She's just as rowdy as a boy...” He said this about Hannah.

Payton watched the little girl toddle around the room. She wasn't one yet but would be in just a week. “It's to cold out for her anyway.” she told her husband. “She wouldn't stay under the quilt like Tommy. We'll be okay. She might cry a little at first but I'll give her a piece of this pumpkin cake I made and it'll settle her down.”

Joshua kissed her cheek, “Okay I'll be back soon. You sure you'll be okay? You don't fell any thing....” he asked looking at her very pregnant belly.

Payton rubbed her swollen abdomen, it wouldn't be long now before the baby came. She had been having back aches off and on for two weeks now but today she felt good. “No, I'm fine, no pain at all. Go but just hurry home. I don't want Tommy out for too long.”

Joshua hugged her once more, “I'll hurry home, Love.” Payton smiled at him. He had stared using the endearment for her a couple weeks back and she found she liked it. He had yet to confess his love to her but the nick name was just a step closer and she knew that. Because he had yet to confess his love to her she had not found the courage to tell him how she felt either.

There were times she sat up at night and told his sleeping form that she loved him so very much. She wanted to tell him that she wanted to stay and that she would never leave him. She had decided that if he had not found enough room in his heart to love her by the time that the baby arrived and she was ready to travel then she would not stay. It almost seemed unfair for her to put a date on his emotions but she couldn't wait for ever.

She and Hannah watched from the window in the kitchen as Joshua and Tommy left in the wagon. Hannah had started to throw a little tantrum when she realized she wouldn't be going along but a quick swat on the rump fixed that. Things had been much better between the couple since that day on the porch. They talked and showed affection to each other. Joshua teased her and she in turn teased him. They laughed together and at times they cried with each other. One night she had had a night mare about Thomas and woke up in a sweat and sobbing. He had held her and let her cry. It was later that she realized he was crying too. When she asked him why he was crying he told her it made him hurt so much to know she had suffered such a loss. He wished he could make it that she never had to suffer such pain. And in turn she had cried to him that she would have done the same for him. But in the end they both said that they were thankful that God had brought them together. Even through the pains of life. Things were much better.

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Joshua hoped that Payton would be pleased with him. He had wrote to her mother and asked her and Payton's father to come and visit. He thought it would help Payton to except everything and move on. Maybe if she saw her family again she would be content to stay with him. He had wanted to tell her how he felt about her. He wanted to let her know that he loved her. He just wasn't sure if she would return those feelings. He knew he needed to tell her how he felt. If he didn't she might leave and he would never see her again.

Tommy sat beside him happy as a lark. “Pa, you cold?” he asked.

“Yeah, son. It's cold. You cold? You want another blanket?” Tommy shook his head and scooted closer to his 'Pa'. He had started calling him Pa the week after Payton and Joshua had decided to make a go at it. He wanted to be a real father to the children. Payton hadn't objected to it. She said it was time that they respected him the way they should and apologized for not doing it sooner. Tommy excepted the name with a smile and shrug and Hannah had just begun to form the word in her tiny bow shaped mouth.