A Reason to Stay

Chapter Nineteen

On her first day out of the bed, Payton found she grew tired much easier than she ever thought possible. It was as though she were a new colt learning to stand again. She tried to fix breakfast but only made it half through before her mother sat her down at the table with a hot cup of tea and finished up the meal. She also grew lightheaded when she tried to clean up the dishes. The children were so excited to have her up again that they didn't realize how tiring their questions and excitement was. She found herself sitting in the chair much of the time making herself try and concentrate on what they were telling her or acting out instead of focusing on how tired she was.

After lunch, (that her mother prepared) she sent to bed with the baby for a nap. “You're going to over do it, Payton.” her mother told her, “I'm still here, so you just rest as much as you need.”

“I hate that you're doing all my chores, mama. I should be in here serving you tea!” she told her.

Helen blew in to the air, “Oh, poppy gosh! You've just had a baby and I'm your mother. I said go to bed and you are doing just that. Besides I don't consider spending a little extra time with these two, chores.” She said squatting down to hug her two grandchildren.

Payton sighed, knowing her mother was right and so she took little Nate and went to bed.

When she awoke the sun was low and dusk was beginning to settle over the house. She checked on little Nate terrified that he had slept for so long but he was fine. She quickly straightened her clothes and smoothed her hair. She left Nate on the warm bed as she threw a shaw on and scurried across the breeze way to the living quarters.

Everyone was up talking or eating. Her mother was finishing up the dishes from supper. “Well, there's sleeping beauty.” her father said and walked over to her. He enveloped her in a hug and kissed her forehead. He patted her back. “I hope you enjoyed your nap.” :

”I didn't realize I had slept for so long.” she said.

“You've been asleep for four hours, Payton.” her Mother told her as she dried her hands. “I kept a little soup warm over the fire for you and a biscuit too.”

“Thank you.” Payton said starting to sit and then jumping up, “Oh, I should go get Nate. He might start to cry and...”

You sit down.” her mother said pushing her back into the chair. “Your father and I will go check on him and stay with him until he wakes up. There's no need in bringing him across that breezeway and getting him out in the cold just to bring him over here.” She winked at her husband.

They knew that Payton and Joshua had had little time alone with each other. The grandchildren followed them not wanting to be left out. So it was Payton and Joshua alone at last. The first time since the baby had been born. Joshua moved from the rocker to the table to be nearer to her. She took small bites of her soup. Her stomach was in a fit of nerves and she wasn't sure if she could eat any more. Joshua watched her. He was still worried she was hiding that she didn't feel well.

“If we need to hire someone to come in and help out until you are back on your feet, I think the Newton's girl is sixteen now and she's helped out with other babies.” he told her.

Payton pushed the soup bowl away. “No, I'm fine. I guess I was just so tired from getting up and down at night with Nate and then it being my first day up....” she sighed, “Let's just wait and see how it is when my parents are gone.”

Joshua touched her hand. “So, you're going to stay?” he asked scared of her answerer.

“Yes, Joshua. Unless you don't want me to.” she said on a soft smile.

“If you left I would just follow you.” he told her and then came to sit on the bench with her. He put an arm around her. “Wow.” he said

“What?”

“I can fit my arm all the way around your waist. You're tiny, Payton.

“You're only saying that because ten days ago I had a belly out to here.” she said motioning with her hands.

Joshua stole a quick kiss and then leaned his forehead against hers. They were smiling as they stared into one another's eyes. “I love you Payton.” he told her. “I never thought it would be possible to be so happy. Not for me and then you just came in here and you did it!”

“No, God did it.” she reminded him.

"Yes but it's you too Payton. I can't concentrate on my chores because I'm thinking about you. I got the milk bucket out the other day and sat it under the horse!” he told her.

She swatted at his shoulder and broke the face to face connection they had. “Oh, you did not!”

“Yes, i did. Truthfully I did.”

Payton had a good laugh and he did too.

“Awww,” he sighed and slipped both his arms around her waist. In one quick movement he had picked her up and placed her in his lap. She was so caught off guard she let out a little squeal.

“Joshua!” she exclaimed.

“I love you Payton and I'm never letting you go.” he told her. He kissed her on the lips and tightened his grip on her, pulling her even closer into him.

“Joshua, what about my parents?” she asked, “what if they....”

He kissed her, smothering her question under his lips. His hands moved from her tiny waist up the length of her body. She gasp as they made their way up to her neck. He held her face between his hands as he kissed her. She was so caught up in kissing him that nothing else mattered. He stood up suddenly and sat her on top of the table and leaned over her to kiss her. “Payton, I want you to stay.” he said between kisses. “I want us to be a family.” He breathed in deeply and then moaned, “I want us to be husband and wife. I want to give you my all and in turn I want all of you.” Payton understood the meaning of his words.

She pulled away from him. “But it's too soon for.... that.” she said.

Joshua smiled at her, “I know and that's fine but promise me you'll let me love you. You'll let me make you happy. Promise me you'll stay with me forever.”

Payton pulled away, “I can't be Eliza, Joshua.”

“I don't want Eliza, Payton.” he said and took a step back to look into her eyes. “I don't want to talk about Eliza. She's my past, you're my present and my future. I want YOU, Payton. Only you.”

“Do I have a reason to stay Joshua?” she asked.

Joshua was in tears, “I hope I'm good enough reason, Payton. I love you. I can't live without you. Let me be reason enough.”

Payton cried, “Even if you didn't love me I couldn't leave you. I love you more than I love life. Without you I would have no life.”

Joshua took her in his arms and just held her. “I never dreamed when God told me to marry you it would end this way.”

“Oh Joshua,” Payton said, “This isn't the ending, this is just the beginning!”

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