the room is so dark in the daytime
the taunting sunlight teases the edges of the closed-blinds
like a playground bully
the shadows slap back and shoo remaining brightness away
and i am aware of my lonesomeness
suddenly, this bed of denial and fear and sadness
begins to swallow me
and i realize i am in a sea of blackness, of total darkness
and misery
i'm gasping for air, barely keeping myself above water!
there's too much darkness, i'm blind! i can't swim!
someone help me!
but i can't speak out, i can't scream out--
the inky ocean fills my lungs and I can't breathe!
the ebony darkness infests my mind like an untreated wound,
it conquers my heart and sends it sinking in my caged chest!
i wish i was suicidal, because then i would have an escape--
and suicide isn't the escape, but i would have hope and something to occupy
my deranged thoughts and wasted time!
without a single suicidal bone in my body,
i am forced to live with my sadness!
i am forced to face my fears and confront my twisted soul!
i can't run from this!
i have nowhere to go!
i am trapped in the horrific reality,
and i just want you to come home!
