The Boys

lost little boys

"I really think you should use the SAT NAV." I told Robert for the millionth time.

"I know my way to Wiltshire, Eve. Just relax." Robert reassured me. I couldn't relax. I'm burying Mum today. I'm on edge. I cried most of yesterday again and I'll probably cry a lot today. Hopefully I'll stop crying soon. I'm mentally exhausted from it all.

"But you don't know your way around Wiltshire." I assumed.

"I'll use to signs and then you can lead me from where you know. Anyway,  we need to stop at the next services. I'm busting for the loo and you need something to eat and another of those drinks." Robert says when a road sign comes up with the next services on.

I still didn't like the taste of those drinks. They were meant to be like milkshakes but tasted like cheesy water. Today was the chocolate one which I haven't had yet. I don't really think I wanted it but I have to have it so I'm not made to go into hospital.  Robert explained to me yesterday that the hospital could still section me if I gain the weight because, and I know this, I am severely underweight. It is life threatening. I am in danger but as long as I keep eating, I'll be fine.

I have a sandwich and a packet of crisps for lunch along side the most disgusting thing I have ever drank. It stank. It made me heave.

"Please don't throw up." Robert grimaced.

"Chocolate will never taste the same again." I said with a tight voice.

"Mention it to the doctor next time." Robert says, focusing back on the road.

"Only if she doesn't tear into me like last time." I sighed and had some water.

"She's still only doing her job. She might not section you. She might just make you an outpatient if you're lucky."

"Lucky? I don't even know what outpatient is." I groan and curl up on the seat.

"You'll get weighed every morning at the doctors surgery. Strict meal plan and stuff. More assessments. You'll be signed up with CAMHS and they'll help you." Robert explains.

"How do you know all this?"

"I did psychology in college. I guess it has just stuck with me." He shrugged.

"Oh?" I yawned and got comfier in my seat. I wasn't dressed properly just yet for the funeral. We left at 8:30am so we would have time to book a place in the near by hotel that was just outside of the town.

"Go have a sleep, Eve. We've still got another hour to go." Robert says to me. I didn't object, I'm exhausted still.

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I get dressed in a black dress. Black shoes. Thick tights. My jacket was white. I kept my hair down. I was a little scared to see all my friends again. I was petrified to go to my house tomorrow. I'm terrified to leave for the funeral. We are going in 5 minutes. Robert just wants me to eat something else again before we go.

"You'll be okay, yeah? Don't hold back. Cry if you want. Do whatever. It is your time now." Robert tells me, adjusting his tie.

"I've asked some of my friends to come along that knew her. Just to support me a little."

"Of course. Whatever you need, just tell me." He turns around and examines me quickly. "Did you eat?" He asked. I show him the orange I was almost finished with. "Okay. Now, you will have to direct me to the church. Do you know where about we are?" I nodded. "Okay. Well, let's get going, shall we? Oh, actually, we should probably buy some flowers. Do you have a shop near by?"