The Boys

afraid

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Robert takes me back to the hotel afterwards, telling me to change into something more comfortable as he's letting me go for a meal with my friends. I am in shock over seeing my 'grandmother' and 'uncle' still. The cheek of them. How very dare they? They spent so long away from her, pretending she was not suffering and all this time, she was. I don't like people who pretend. Fake. Fake has a stigma that is universally known and yet people still act this way. I hate it. 

The meal was at my favourite restaurant in Wiltshire, Wetherspoons. Now I am very aware there are Wetherspoons across the country left, right and centre but this one is special because it holds a lot of memories. Birthday meals, brunches, after school chip days. They also do the best pasta I have ever tasted in the world even if I haven't been around the world to form the unbiased opinion others would rather I held. But who cares? I love their pasta. 

Comfortable clothes for me are leggings and a jumper which is exactly what I am wearing despite the leggings being a little baggy and the jumper too big as well as the more locational problem of being in a restaurant. However, the owner knows my friends and me pretty well and has even let us come here in our onesies before the carnival. 

I tried to forget about the funeral and sadly, Mum too for a little bit. I want to be happy now. I am rarely going to be around my friends anymore and I want to take back some happy memories again, to keep me going until the next time I get to see them. So when Robert drops me off with £20 to get a meal at my comfort place, I gave a genuine smile to him. Phoebe took her arm and lay it around my body, pulling me close. 

"Let's go get you fat, Evie." She laughed a little, leading me into our usual booth in the back of the restaurant beside the kitchen so we can smell all these new foods cooking that will soon make people happy. 

"Hey, I'm sorry about earlier." I told everyone, sitting down. I did feel a little embarrassed now but those people deserved every last word I spat to them. They are terrible people and need to remember what they did to the family. 

"It's cool, babe. We're going to have the time of our lives tonight. Renny says drinks are on the house tonight but because you're underaged, you can't properly drink. Then again, neither can I or Liz so it's just Ham, Phee and Emma." Suzie joked and smiled at me.

"Well isn't that nice for you three?" I replied sarcastically, knowing I can still drink some of their drinks because they'd let me. 

"It's brilliant actually. Anyway, no need to order anything until dessert because I took the liberty of placing them all for us." Suzie did a little hair flick with a smug look. Of course she did, she's one of the only people who can actually talk to others without wanting to cry. 

"You treasure," I say, getting comfortable but the nerves were still there. My sleeves were over my hands and my hands were constantly moving while my leg bounced under the table. Phoebe hand noticed and her hand lay on my knee to try and calm me. I wish that did calm me like it use to. 

"It'll be about 15 minutes so do you want to get drinks? We'll obviously let you share. Renny really doesn't mind you drinking but he doesn't want this place to get shut down or for him to get fired." Ham asks, standing up. 

"Can I just have some water please?" I asked, not wanting move. 

"You sure? Not the coffee?" Ham frowned. 

"No." I shake my head and she walks off with Liz and Suzie in tow. 

"You need to calm down, Evie. Have you seen a therapist yet? If you are, get them to teach you how to breathe and relax properly." Phoebe sighed.