The Boys

new americana

We unconsciously get to my school before we know it. I could not bare to be around there for too long so after telling Phoebe a little about the school, we headed off somewhere else and ended up in small park. It was completely unoccupied with a swing set, roundabout and climbing frame placed in the middle of a patch of grass. Our first instincts were to run around the park like we were happy 5 year olds again.

I remember the last time I went on an outing with Mum and Dad. It was to Crealy in Exeter. I was 10 years old so by this time, Mum was unable to talk. She was pushed around in a wheelchair by Dad although able to do a little walking.

The weather was wonderful that day. Dad and I went on all the rides possible while Mum sat back and watched us. She smiled that whole day. She wrote that she smiled at me. It was hard to have fun as a child when you knew your mum was dying. I spent as much time as possible with Mum, making sure she was okay. I did go out a lot, too. I spent a week every now and then at Phoebe's house and went on holiday with them.

"What are the chances it will rain while we are out?" Phoebe asks, looking at the sky.

"Like, 110% because we're in bloody England." I grumbled and started climbing the play frame. Phoebe follows my path with ease. I hate how flexible and talented she is. Smart, pretty, tall, gifted. She is amazing. I want to be like her. But I am not and I have to accept that.

"Great."

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When the rain started, we left. We did not run, mainly due to laziness, we took a casual stroll. It was only spitting so it did not bother us too much but we knew it was best to leave as soon as possible just in case the rain did start hammering it down on us.

We were out for about 3 hours, so when we got back to the house, it was almost dinner time. Saturday meant roast dinner day. I don't fancy helping cook a roast. However, when we got into the house, everyone was watching a movie in the cinema room and nothing was being cooked.

"We have pizza." Tom whispers to me. "Mum said it was a treat but we all know it is because of Phoebe. So we all love you and you can come here any time you want." He grinned at her.

"I think I might have to." She whispered back. I can't wait to have a proper pizza. A big greasy pizza from Domino's. Filled with ham and pepper and sweetcorn.

"We have set up the attic for you two later. We haven't put any of your things upstairs, though. We thought it would be best for you to." Robert announced. When did he get back? I thought he didn't finish work until late. Oh well, I guess it is nice he is back.

"It is really cool upstairs. Come on!" I nudged Phoebe out of the room and closed the door behind her.

"Ugh, we've been walking for HOURS!" She whined.

"Whatever. Come on." I repeated myself and dragged her behind me against her will. The upstairs beds had been made and the gaming machines were turned on.

"This is sick." Phoebe gasped, looking around the room.

"Told you so. I'll go get your stuff." I say and quickly run to my room. I grab her back and my pyjamas to change into later.

"Thanks." Phoebe says when I hand her stuff over.

"Anytime."

"Here. I've got something to show you. It's kind of a present from the girls and me." Phoebe sets her stuff on the floor and sits down beside it to look through it. She takes out a brown book and pats the space on the floor next to her. "Sit." She demands simply. I do as she says and she hands me the book.

'Evie's empirical events' it reads in Emma's handwriting. I give Phoebe a quizzical look.

"Go on. It is a present." She insists. So in open it.

On the first page, it is a picture of all my friends and me. Our last picture all together at a Christmas meal last year. We wore our santa hats and had silly face paint.

"What is this?" I asked.

"Keep going." She insisted. I turn the page to see writing.

'Evie, we all thought you needed cheering up. This book isn't a final goodbye from everyone. It's the beginning of a story...' the writing stops.

"You can't skip ahead." Phoebe informed me.

"Okay?" I turn over again. I'm 3 years old and at the beach with Phee. I'm 3 years old and I'm at Phoebe's 4th birthday party. I'm 4 and having my first day of school, standing beside Phoebe in our new uniform. I'm 5, I'm going on my first school trip to the zoo with Emma, Liz and Phoebe. I'm in my first school play. I'm gain a birthday party. I'm going to the beach. I'm in the woods. I'm at the park. I'm camping. I'm on holiday. I'm swimming. I'm meeting my first alpaca. I'm dressed as Belle. I'm finishing school. I'm starting Wilts. My first picture with all of my friends. Sleepovers. Birthdays. Easter. Halloween. Christmas. Stupid selfies together. Then it is me on the last day of year 9, standing beside everyone.

'...now you have to choose who you end it with. It has been a privilege being your friend. Go fill the rest of this booklet with new memories. We love you, Phee, Liz, Suzie, Emma, Ham and, Boo.'

I look to Phoebe, tears in my eyes. I close the book and hold it to my chest tightly.

"Thank you. Thank you so much." I whispered.

"You don't have to be sad anymore. You've got a new start now. Go make some new friends. Go be the happiest girl in the world." She gave me a side hug. I rest my head on her shoulder.

"Cigarettes and tiny liquor bottles. Just what you'd expect inside her new Balenciaga. Viral mess turned dreams into an empire.Self-made success now she rolls with Rockefeller." I start to sing quietly. We use to sing Halsey songs all the time. Her voice is phenomenal.

"I've missed your beautiful voice so much." Phoebe smiles.

"Survival of the richest, the city's ours until the fall.They're Monaco and Hamptons bound, but we don't feel like outsiders at all. We are the new Americana. High on legal marijuana.
Raised on Biggie and Nirvana. We are the new Americana." I sang a little louder for her then finished. I didn't want to risk anyone hearing me. I sang only for Phoebe. She knew that. I admit that I can sing a little. I'm not amazing but I'm not bad either.

"That was perfect. We'll see her sing one day. I promise. She has a tour coming up soon." Phee tells me, getting up. "Oh, and I've got more of your things. Photos and your nick nacks. As many clothes as possible. There's still a bit left at your house. I'll get it before your landlord repossesses it." She says, starting to change. After being friends for 12 years, we've seen each other get changed a lot. We didn't really care much about it.

So I get changed too. Until I am stopped half way.

"Jesus Christ, Evie. How didn't I see that before?!" Phee yelled at me. She steps closer and examines my body. Mainly my scars.

"A lot of it happened in the summer. But remember, I'm fine now. Safer." I said and stepped back so I can change more.

"I didn't know it was that bad." She sighed.

"No. No one did. Please, let's not talk about it." I begged.

"Of course... hey, bet you the rest of these Oreos that you can't beat me on Mario Kart?" She grinned after spotting the Wii.

"Bring. It. On, Mate." I winked and set everything up.