I Think I Lost My Halo ⇒ Joshler

Scared Of My Own Image

Tyler laid in his bed and stared at the phone he held above his face. It felt like hours have pasted of him just sitting there, rereading the message he typed out only a few minutes ago. It said "Hey so you are still down for Lana's right?". He felt like a stupid school girl, questioning if he should add more question marks or put 'u' and 'r' instead of the real words. "Will he take them ironically or think I don't have enough time to actually put a few more letters. Maybe if I do put just the letter he will think I am like..cool," Tyler said out loud but instantly regretted it. He always forgets how Blurryface says his opinion even when it is clearly not needed.

"I don't know, Ty. I mean I personally think you shouldn't try to invite him again. You saw his reaction on the bus! He didn't even care you were talking, and not to mention how distant he has been toward you. Hey, maybe someone told him about the other night. Joshy probably thinks you're some pig, taking advantage of him while he was drunk and all."

Now Tyler knew what Blurry was saying wasn't the truth but the way he words it always makes it seems like he is just stating facts. Tyler agreed but before he thought anymore about the topic he erased 'Lana's' and replaced it with 'hanging out this weekend'. Without another thought he sent it. This was mostly because Tyler knew in a few minutes he would be in a state of pure fear and doubt. If he sent the message then, chances are he would have a break down. Thinking how he shouldn't have sent it, how Josh wasn't replying fast enough which obviously means he hates him, and worst of all Blurry would probably be in full control in only a few minutes.

Tyler thought about how pathetic he was for being use to giving up to Blurry so easily. Then just like clockwork, everything went black and he could feel a pain coming from his legs. Once he was able to be in control again, there were fresh new cuts on his thighs. For some reason, this time he couldn't hold back his tears. Tyler hid his face into his two hands and sobbed until he had an intolerable headache.

"I...I thought I was getting better...how could this happen?" he asked to himself with a shaky voice.

"Poor poor Ty. Always thinking if he finds a special someone this will all go away. But what you lack is memory, my friend. You seem to always forget, I own you."

This was a statement Blurryface told to Tyler hundreds upon hundreds of time, but he never knew what exactly it exactly meant. How could he be stuck with this monster anyway? And how could Blurry so casually say his life belongs to him?

The night finally comes and Tyler is picking up Josh to head off to something he was sure he would regret. Strangest thing though, Josh had to climb out a window in order to leave his house. Tyler questioned him once he got in the car but all he gave was, "It's, um, I'll tell you later." Tyler was going to argue but Josh did this hopeless type of smile that broke his heart. He was too familiar with this facial expression. It's the one he would pull whenever his mom would randomly asked "Everything going okay?". Tyler knew whenever he smiled like that whatever was on his mind was the last thing he wanted to talk about.

He drove off without another word. After a minute of listening to whatever was playing off the radio Tyler asked, "So you aren't even gonna try and cover that black eye, huh?" Josh's palm went right to his forehead, "Shit! I completely forgot!" He leaned his head back on the chair with a sigh. "Dude, I'm sure no one is gonna care that much," Tyler laughed, "The people at Lana's are probably already stoned. Doubtful they will even notice it."

Josh looked over at Tyler and asked, "Oh so we are still going to Lana's then?"

"Yeah, I already told her I would be there. I thought I told you.."

"Yeah, yeah you did. I just.."

"What is it?"

"Lana just kinda hangs out with a crowd I'm not really...familiar with..I probably sound like a loser but I'm just..nervous."

"Well I won't tell you not to worry because I know that doesn't help. Instead I'll tell you we are in the same situation. I feel fine now but once I walk in her house I will forget how to breath."

They were quiet for a few seconds before Josh finally said, "Well at least we have each other."