My Angel of Music

In Sleep He Sang to Me

I woke to blankets gathered around me and an angelic voice singing a song of despair.  I sat up, startled by the beautiful voice.  But then I recognized the baratone, honey filled voice.  It was my angel.  Where was he?  What was he doing here?  Then the events of last nights slowly crept back into my mind.

I tried to push them out but they wouldnt go away.  No matter how hard I tried, the horrid images still stuck to my brain like glue.  I cried out, my small frame shaking with sobs.  "Angel,"  I sobbed.  Then he was there, pulling me to him, holding me while i cried.  "Shh now, Christine.  It's alright, I'm here, nothing can harm you."  He soothed but it didnt help.  Instead it made me worse.  

I had hurt him so deeply and now he was here helping me, comforting me.  I didn't understand his forgiveness, his mercy.  Sure I had given up my innocence for him but that was only a small amount of repayment that i owed him.  I was so cruel and mean and now here he was, beside me.

"I'm so sorry, angel."  I cried into his chest.  I felt him shaking.  Oh no, he was angry with me.  He finally realized what a wicked being I was.  I flinched and tried to burrow deeper into his chest but he pulled me up, so I could look him in the eyes.

He had his mask on, to my relief,but he looked frail and very pale.  His eyes were filled with sadness and a hint of anger.  "Christine, do not apologize.  I deserved every bit of hatred you threw at me, do you understand?  I am a demon and you, my love are an angel."  He stopped and looked down.  "Which is why when you recover I will take you to Madame Giry's house and leave you to your freedom."  He whispered.

Fear flooded my heart.  No, I could not lose him!  He, I realized was who I really loved, not Raoul!  If he left I would surely die of a broken heart.  I could and would not live without him!  I shook my head violently, making me quite dizzy.  I heard my voice whisper "No, no, no, no." over and over again.  My head was spinning and I couldn't think straight.  My angel was going to leave me?  No.  He was going to leave.  No.  He would happily live his life while I suffered in eternal darkness.  No.

I jumped off the bed and sank to my knees before the angel. I grasped his hand and looked deep into his emerald eyes.  "Please, Angel, please.  Do not leave me!  I know that I am not worthy of you for I have broken your heart so many times, but I beg of you, do not leave!"  I was sobbing now my soul being torn to pieces. He reached out to stroke my hair but I pulled back and ran across the room.

Laying on the dresser was a small dagger which was coated with dust.  I picked it up and raised it to my heart.  "Angel, if you leave I might as well be dead!  You might as well plunged a dagger into my heart!  Let me save you the trouble and do it for you!"  I screamed in a complete frenzy.  I raised the dagger, ready to plunge it deep into my heart but a forceful hand grabbed me by the wrists which made my knees buckle beneath me.  

He held my wrists with an angry look in his eyes.  He made my fingers release the dagger and it dropped to the floor.  "How dare you, Christine?  How dare you!"  My angel yelled at me.  "You cannot threaten to kill yourself because of the loss of an evil demon!  You should be glad to be rid of me!" He continued.  Before he could go further I interjected. "Angel I love you!  I cannot live without you and if you even try to leave i swear once you have left I will finish what you just interupted!"  I cried sobs escaping my lips once more.

He then pulled me into an embrace so forceful it knocked the wind out of me.  "Oh, Christine.  Why?  Why do you do this to me?  You pull me in then knock me back down again."  He whispered.  "Please, Angel.  Anywhere you go let me go too.  Give me one more chance."  I begged.  My angel pulled me back, cupping my face in his hands.  And then he pulled me into a kiss.  One that was more loving and fiery than the one in the lair.  A fire erupted between us that we both knew could not be put out.

His hands slid down to my waist and lingered there for the rest of the blissful moment.  All too soon it ended.  My angel pulled back his face pale.  He let go of me and walked to bed and layed down.   "What's wrong, Angel?"  I questioned.  "Nothing, I just haven't slept in two days and now i'm feeling..."  I interrupted by putting my hand to his forehead.  He closed his eyes, savoring the feeling of my hand on his face.  I pulled it back switly.  "You're burning up!"  I yelped.  I rushed to find water and a rag.  Not knowing exactly where I was slowed be down a bit.  It seemed to be an old abandoned house but luckily the people had left all their stuff.

I found a pail of water that my angel must have brought in earlier.  I carried it to the bedroom and ripped a strip of cloth from my dress and wet it with the water.  I put it to his forehead and he gave me a sweet smile.  "Thank you, Love."  I replied with a kiss on the cheek.  Then I noticed the mask still on his face.  "Angel, I think I should remove your mask.  It might be making you warmer than you need to be."  I whispered fearfully.  "No, dont even think about it, Christine."  he growled.

I nodded knowing that I was going to take it off in his sleep anyway.  Fever scared me.  My father's last days were spent in a feverish dream.  That's what killed him.  The fever, not the illness itself.  So now I was scared to death that I might lose my perfect angel to this fever.  But no matter his protests I would do everything in my power to prevent that.  Even removing his mask.

                                                                           * * *

While my angel lay sleeping I slowly walked over to him.  I quietly stroked his face and kissed him gently.  Then I took a breath and removed his mask.  My love for him fogged all of his flaws, even his deformed face.  It didn't look as bad as I remembered, just a little bit different that was all.  I smiled as I put the mask on the nighttable and crawled into bed beside him.

                                                                           * * *

That night the men from the mob haunted my dreams.  This time there was no angel to comfort me, only darkness and the men were my companions.

                                                                          * * *

I woke, tears streaming down my face.  My hand searched for my angel and found his sleeping form in the darkness.  I curled up to him kissing his forehead and feeling it to see if the fever had gone down.  It hadn't.  I couldn't sleep so I just stared at his peacful features in the darkness.  The moonlight shown on him like an angel.  Like the angel he was.

"Christine.....Christine!"  My angel's angelic voice sounded.  He sat up, reaching out his hand for me.  I took it and laid him back down. "Shh.  It was just a dream, angel."  I cooed to him.  Half asleep he looked at me.  "Erik, my name's Erik."  He then drifted back to sleep.

"Erik."  I whispered, letting the name roll off my tongue sweetly.  

I couldn't help but say Madame Erik to myself.  But I was getting ahead of myself, marriage was still a far way step in our relationship.  But this wasn't some ordinary courtship either, this was Christine Daae and the Opera Ghost for heaven's sake!  I didn't even know if Erik wanted to get married, I did't know if he wanted children!  I did of course! I wanted a child to hold and to sing to, to play with and tuck into bed.  But that was far away and I could wait a little while....