My Angel of Music

Point of No Return

"Erik."  I croaked.  He was at my side instantly, caressing my hair and soothing me.  "What is it, mon ange?"  He whispered.  I smiled through chapped lips at his faithful loyalty.  "How long have I been  sick?"  I asked.  He looked away and licked his lips.  "About three days."  He finally answered.  I nodded weakly and then shut my eyes in an attempt to sleep.

"No thoughts within her head but thoughts of joy.  No dreams within her heart, but dreams of love!"  My voice rang like a bell throughout the theater.  My heart pounded at the thought of the Phantom watching me sing....One last time.  He was walking straight into a trap.  A trap that part of me hoped failed.  "Master."  The actor's voice was heard as I bent down to "pick up a rose."  "Go away for the trap is set, and wait for it's prey."  Piangi's voice was heard, but it didn't really sound like him...It was more powerful, more even.

"You have come here in pursuit of your deepest urge.  In pursuit of your wish which til now has been silent."  It was the Phantom!  Without turning my head I could tell that it was his baratone voice that filled my soul so deeply.  I slowly turned my head to see him in a black mask, holding a finger to his lips to tell me to be quiet.  "Silent.  I have brought you, that our passions may fuze and merge.  In your mind you've already sucummb to me, dropped all defenses, completly succumbed to me."  I closed my eyes to savor his music that threatened to take me to a different world.  "Now you are here with me, no secound thoughts.  You've decided.  Decided."  He sang perfectly.

My breath caught in my chest and it became hard to breathe.  He was here.  I didn't know if he was going to take me back down to his lair of death and darkness.  But would he really do it in front of all these people?  Part of me told me to get up and run away, and never look back.  And believe me, that's exactly what I wanted to do, but I found that I couldn't bring myself to do it.  Without consent from my brain, my legs stood me up and faced the Phantom briefly, before turning to face the audience again.

"Past the point of no return.  No backward glances.  Our games of make believe are at an end."  He sang confidently.  I trembled as his voice reached the high notes.  "Past all thought of if or when.  No use resisting.  Abandon thought and let the dream descend."  I glanced to the side stage, hoping there was someone there to help me, but I found no one.  Suddenly, the Phantom had me locked in an embrace that sent shivers down my spine.  His arm was around my neck and his other hand held my hip in place.  I closed my eyes and tilted my head to rest on his arm.

"What raging fires shall flood the soul?  What rich desires unlock it's door?  What sweet seduction lies before us?"  His hand slid seductively down my arm as I turned to face him with a smile of pleasure playing on my lips.  I trembled as he kissed my hand and slid away.  'Damn it.  I'm trapped, and I cannot get away now.'  I thought to myself.  This song fit the situation so perfectly, it was like it was written exactly for us.....Wait....He wrote it exactly for this moment!  He wrote it so that I would choose him!  But, I just didn't know if I could or would choose him.  He would never be acceptable in society.  He was short tempered and extremly sensitive.  I couldn't be sure if I loved him or his music.  And, I couldn't bring myself to abandon Raoul.  All these factors added up in my mind as I tried to quickly make a decision.  But this choice was not one I could make in a matter of a few minutes.

"Past the point of no return, the final threshold.  What warm unspoken secrets will we learn?  Beyond the point of no return."  The Phantom's voice became softer and he stepped away from me, as if giving me space to make my decision.  I stepped back and looked into the crowd, avoiding his seductive eyes.  I shook my head in confusion.  

"You have brought me to that moment when words run dry. To that moment when speech disappears into silence.  Silence."  I sang with a slightly shaky voice.  I saw Raoul in a box, looking at me questioningly.  I glared at him and tried to communicate with him through my looks.  'It's him!  That isn't Piangi, it's him!'  I wanted to scream, but instead I just focused on my voice.  "I have come here, hardly knowing the reason why."  I turned to face the Phantom slowly.  He was standing, rigid, and holding his breath.  i gave him an encouraging smile and stared at him.  "In my mind I've already imagined our bodies entwining defenseless and silent."  I sang quietly.  My hands traveled slowly up my neck and to my head.  My eyes were squinted seductively.  

"Now I am here with you, no secound thoughts.  I've decided."  I sang to him.  He looked at me questioningly.  I read 'Do you mean what I think you mean?' in his eyes.  I nodded with a small smile on my face.  "Decided."   

That was it.  I chose him.  Wether I loved his music or him, I knew I could not be without him any longer.  I saw his lips form a small smile, and a joyful gleam dance in his eyes.  

I began to slowly walk farther from the audience and towards the winding staircase that wasn't even part of this scene.  I knew that there were police at every corner of the stage, but there was no one on the staircase, so that is where I went.  As I planned, the Phantom followed me like a puppy.  Our eyes were locked together in a fiery gaze that made my cheeks heat and my hands tremble.

"Past the point of no return.  No going back now.  Our passion play has now at last begun!"  The words rang true throughout the opera house.  "Past all thought of 'right' or 'wrong'.  One final question."  I reached the opening of the stairs and the Phantom reached the other.  We both climbed it, never losing eye contact.  I clutched the railing as each step took me closer to my destiny-him.  The words burned in my throat before I could sing them.  They were very suggestive, even though part of me wanted to know exactly what I was about to sing.

"How long should we to wait before we're one?"  I asked.  The Phantom's face was filled with raw pleasure as I sang to him with all the power of my soul.  I stretched my neck to show my eagerness for his answer.  "When will the blood begin to race, the sleeping bud burst into bloom, when will the flames at last consume us?"  I meant every word I sang.

Finally, we both reached the wooden platform.  Confidently, the Phantom swung his cape off and draped it over a wooden board.  I couldn't help but notice the white dress shirt that fit his chest tightly and bared his sculpted muscles.  His black mask covered his face, but it made him look mysterious and....handsome.  I walked as quickly as I could over to him while our voices joined as one.

"Past the point of no return, the final threshold."  His voice was husky and beautiful, as always.  We reached eachother, and I placed my hands on his chest, and his on my shoulders.  I felt his warm hands radiate heat into my bare skin.  I wanted to bury my whole body into his and stay there forever.  "The bridge is crossed so stand and watch it burn!"  The Phantom spun me around so that my back was to his chest, and we were both facing the audience.  I felt his chest heave against my back that was covered only by a thin dress.  "We've past the point of no return."  Our voices became softer as the song finished.  

My head rolled to the side and rested on his shoulder.  I closed my eyes in complete ecstasy.  I was exactly where I needed to be.  Not exactly where I wanted, but where I needed.  Our breathing was heavy, but it felt good to be able to lean against eachother and gasp for breath.  We stayed like that, locked in a heavenly embrace for quite a few moments before the Phantom started to sing again.  It was not part of the song, and it surprised me that I already knew it.

"Say you'll share with me one love one lifetime."  His voice was soft and almost pleading.  I inwardly gasped at the tune and the words.  "Lead me, save me from my solitude."  He was asking me to....."Say you'll want me with you here beside you."  I opened my eyes and for a fleeting moment glanced at Raoul.  There were tears in his eyes as he glared at us sadly.  He knew.  I pushed away the thought and turned to face the Phantom with a smile on my face.

He grabbed my hand and raised it to his lips.  This is what I wanted, to be loved by him.  I realized that at that very moment.  He was all I needed, all I wanted.  He was the very music of my soul.  Without him, I would never be able to sing ot make music again.  He was my music!  I decided right then and there, I was meant to be with my Angel.

"Anywhere you go, let me go too."  I smiled and raised a trembling hand to his cheek.  "Christine, that's all I ask of-"  I'm not exactly sure why I did it.  Maybe it was the part of me that wanted a free life.  Or maybe I forgot that we were surrounded by people.  But for whatever reason, I ripped the mask off of the Phantom's face.  A mess of twisted flesh stared at me sadly.  Tears formed in my eyes at the realization at what I had done.  Screams echoed throughout the theater and the rustling of skirts was heard.  My eyes widened as the Phantom grabbed me roughly by the waist, slashed a rope with his sword, and we fell.