My Angel of Music

Twisted Every Way

My eyes were finally able to flutter open, after what seemed like days of trying.  It took a while to adjust my sight to the dim room.  I saw a few candles lit dimly in the corner, a nurse sleeping in a chair by the door, and a dark form watching me intently.  I flinched away from it, seeing that it was the Phantom.  His white mask covered half of his face, but the other side was crinkled in worry.  He reached out a hand for me but I pulled away.  "Christine?  It's me, Erik."  He whispered.  For a few moments I stared at the Phantom's face, trying to remeber past events.  The last thing I remembered was singing to Raoul on the rooftop.  

Then, the past few months suddenly came back to me.  That was only a dream!  The flashbacks were only feverish dreams.  I sighed and let Erik take my hand in his.  My mind was still hesitant to trust Erik completly, since the flashbacks were so life-like.  "You have a fever, my dear.  The nurse says you will be fine in a few days.  I am so sorry, I shouldn't have brought you to the lake when it was so cold.  It was foolish of me."  He apologized.  I rolled my eyes inwardly since I was too weak to do so.  I patted his hand weakly and shut my eyes in exhaustion.  "Sleep, mon ange."  I heard Erik whisper.

I had to clear my head.  I had to get away from the managers, from Madame Giry, from Carlotta, and most of all from Raoul.  It was all too much.  I really could not bear it any longer.  Ever since the masquerade Raoul had been pounding me with questions about my Angel of Music.  As if he was planning something...I just needed to get away.  So, I decided to go visit my father's grave.  It was a short carriage ride away, and I had been saving up to go to the cemetary anyways.

I had just climbed into the carriage and settled in as it lurched forward.  I held a bouqet of red roses; my father's favorite.  But my mind refused to linger on my father for very long, it just kept wandering back to the Phantom.  I tried to block him from my mind, to focus on work and my happy future with Raoul, but he kept creeping back into my thoughts.  

"In sleep he sang to me.  In dreams he came.  That voice which calls to me, and speaks my name."

I knew I would have a perfect future with Raoul.  One that society would accept, and one that would be the perefect choice.  He was who I was supposed to be with, I knew.  I did love him, really I did.  But, I was chained to somebody else.  If the Phantom had not killed Joseph Buqet, I would not have even considered marrying Raoul.  But, now that the Phantom was a murderer, things were different.  A passage from Wuthering Heights popped into my head and I inserted my situation into it;s.  

My love for Raoul resembles the foliage in the woods, time will change it, I'm well aware.  But, my love for the Phantom is like the eternal rocks.  I am the Phantom!  Not as a pleasure, but as my own being!

A tear slid down my cheek at the realization of the fact that I loved the Phantom.  But, I knew I could never be with him, so it was pointless to hope and dream.  I was to marry raoul, and that would be the end of it.  The carriage stopped in front of the misty cemetary.  I got out and thanked the driver who was clothed in a thick black cloak that covered his face.  He simply nodded at me and whipped the horses.  As the carriage rolled away, I slowly walked down the snow graveyard path, thinking of my Angel of Music.  He had not visited me for three months and my heart was withering away at the lack of music.  I needed his voice and I could not find it!

"You were once my one companion, you were all that mattered.  You were once a friend and father, then my world was shattered."  I sang quietly to the weeping angels that loomed over me.  I missed my Phantom, so I simply sang about it.  The solution to every problem...

"Wishing you were somehow here again.  Wishing you were somehow near.  Sometimes it seemed, if I just dreamed, somehow you would be here.  Wishing I could hear your voice againg, knowing that I never would.  Dreaming of you won't help me to do all that you dreamed I could."