My Angel of Music

Hypocrite

"No more talk of darkness. Forget these wide eyed fears.  I'm here, nothing can harm you.  My words will warm and calm you."  I sang  quietly to Elsa as I rocked her in the old rocking chair.  I tried to sing as quiet as I could so I wouldn't wake Erik up from his nap.  He had been working hard all day, chopping down fire wood.  Elsa fell asleep in my arms, and I gently placed her back in her crib.  

It had been two days since Erik arrived home.  And he still hadn't warmed up to his youngest daughter, to my dismay.  I just wanted to lock him and Elsa in a room together for a few days, and see if he still hated her then.  Right as I was about to walk out of the door, Annabel appeared, holding her doll to her chest.  She stared up at me, but saw the crib inside the room.  "Mama, what's in there?"  She asked innocently, trying to peer behind my legs.  I pushed her head away from the door and tried to close it, but she darted in.  "Annabel, no!"  I cried as she ran towards the crib.  She giggled as she climbed up the wooden pegs to reach the top.  I scrambled towards her to catch her before she saw.

I hadn't shown Annabel Elsa because I wanted Erik to see her first.  But when Erik saw her, he insisted that no one else besides me and Meg were to ever see her.  So, I obeyed my husband and kept the two sisters apart.  But now, I was afraid I had completly broken Erik's orders.  Before I could reach the curious girl, she peered down at the sleeping baby.  I gritted my teeth, waiting for the scream. and just as I had expected, it came.  I finally reached her, and pulled her shaking form from the crib.  Annabel screamed and tried to wiggle away from me.  Elsa started to cry loudly, and I lost all hope of keeping this to myself.  

Annabel wriggled out of my grip, and ran straight into Erik in the doorway.  She clutched onto his leg, and started to sob.  I scooped the screaming baby into my arms and held her to my chest.  Erik looked at me like I was Satan.  I sighed and raised my eyebrows in helplessness.  He shook his head and picked the terrified Annabel in his arms.  We both cradled screaming children for a few minutes before they finally calmed down.  

"What is that thing, Papa?"  Annabel cried softly.  Erik kissed the top of her head and pulled her up to look him in the face.  "Well, My Dear, some babies are born different.  It doesn't mean they're mean or ugly, it just means that they don't look like you.  Do you understand?"  He explained gently.  She nodded and looked over her shoulder to me and Elsa.  "Why is it here?"  She asked.  

I smiled and stepped forward, but covered the baby's face.  "Well, Annabel, this is your baby sister.  Elsa."  I held the baby out to Annabel's outreached hand.  She touched Elsa's hand, but withdrew it quickly, like Elsa was contagious.  I sighed and stepped back a few feet.  

Erik glared at me as I set the baby back in the cradle.  Annabel whimpered before wriggling free of Erik's grip and running out the door.  Erik didn't move, he just glared.  I sighed and sat down at the rocking chair again.  

"I didn't show her, she ran into the room.  There was nothing I could do."  I explained tiredly.  I held my forehead in my hands and yawned from exhauston.  When Annabel was a baby, Erik helped out a lot, but he wouldn't go near little Elsa.  He shook his head and took a step towards me.  "I've been thinking."  He said dryly.  I looked up at him, my eyebrows raised in question.  "Well?"  I was hoping he would say something like, "And I'm so sorry about the way I've acted," or, "I think I'll really try to love Elsa," or even, "I can help you tonight, if you'd like."  But, I was only setting myself up for disappointment.

"Maybe we should take Elsa to a children's home."  His voice was dry and unfeeling.  I sat up and crossed my eyebrows.  My throat was dry, and I really couldn't say anything.  For a few minutes, we just sat in pregnant silence.  I really didn't know what to say.  "I.....We....I mean....No!  We can't...No!"  I stuttered.  He set his mouth in a firm line.  "And why not?"  He asked, monotone.  I let out a hiss of breath and ran a hand through my hair.  "Because.  Because, she's my baby."  was the only response I could muster.  He chuckled.  "As much as I wish it weren't true, she's mine too."  

Tears formed in my eyes at those words.  And at that moment, I knew there was absolutley no chance of him ever loving Elsa.  

"I don't understand."  I whispered.  He stepped closer to me and squatted down so he could be eye level with me.  "Undertstand what?"  I sighed.  "I don't understand how you can be so cruel.  You've always hated how people treat you, and wished that they could understand.  But now, you are treating Elsa the same way you were treated, and you're not even trying!  You are a hypocrite."  I let my voice raise with my temper, though Annabel was probably listening at the door.  

Erik's face turned stone cold, and he stood up slowly, like a menacing animal.  I stared him straight in the eye, daring him to say one more cruel thing.  His expression was menacing and murderous, which made me even more determined.  I stood and kept glaring at him in his dark eyes.  We stayed like that for a moment, each of us challenging eachother to say something.  But, he was the first to speak.  "I am the man of this house.  And I don't have to ask permission to do anything."  He growled, sending spit into my face.  

I didn't flinch, though his words sunk in and terror struck my heart.  "You wouldn't."  I hissed.  He smirked.  "Tomorrow, at five O'clock, a carriage will arrive to take it away."  He snickered.  My eyes widened and my challenging demeanor faltered.  My stomach turned, and I suddenly fell to the floor in a heap of tears.  But he didn't care.  He stood over me for a moment, watching my despair, then stalked out.