My Angel of Music

Down Again

I leaned on Erik's shoulder as we reached the lair, the candles dim and the air heavy.  Erik tensed beside me, taking in the glories of his old refuge.  I caressed his stiff arm, hoping to chase away the demons that haunted him.  But it was if I didn't exist.  He just gazed into the dim light, absorbing it all in.  

"Erik?"  I whispered as we reached the shore.  He hesitantly looked back at me, his eyes distracted.  "Are we going to get off?"  I asked quietly.  He suddenly broke free from his thoughts and his normal frown reappeared.  He stepped off and offered his hand which I gladly took.  He helped me off and we both marveled at the beauty of his former home.  "Do you miss it?"  I asked.  Without looking at me, he nodded.  "Yes, very much."  He answered.  I nodded.  

"I miss the idea of it, really.  Of the sheltering darkness, and the control." He continued, roaming around the lair, inspecting each aspect.  "But most of all I miss being your Angel of Music.  I miss being perfect and innocent in your eyes."

He turned around, his back facing me.  I slowly tiptoed to where he was standing and placed a hand on his shoulder, whirling him around to face me.  He looked surprised, but I didn't care.  I grabbed his bare cheeks in between my hands and pressed my lips to his.  He covered my hands with his, shakily before slowly slipping his hands down my neck, torso, and resting on my hips.  I sighed as I pressed my body even closer to his.  Oh, the joy of tasting his lips on mine after all the tears I had shed.  

I realized that last time we had kissed in this lair, things were not as they were now.  I didn't know if I loved him or not, Raoul was tied up, and I was being forced to marry Erik.  

But things were different now.  They were hardly any better, but they were different.  

"Erik."  I moaned as he pushed me up against the wall, his hands hungrily roaming up my waist.  I pulled my lips away.  "Erik, not now.  I have to check on the children."  I whispered, though all I wanted to do was continue our previous engagements.  He sighed but nodded.  "Yes, the children."  He agreed, still catching his breath.  He stepped away, but grabbed my hand and let me lead him to the room where they were in.

I creaked open the door to find the children, fast asleep.  I had hired a ballet rat to check on them through the other door that led out the room.  They seemed to be fine, and I mentally thanked the young girl.  I heard Erik sigh and I closed the door.  

We walked back to my bedroom.  I sat down on the bed, and Erik stood over me, hovering.  "What are we going to do, Angel?"  I meekly asked.  He looked down and let out a tense breath.  

"I-I'm sorry that I didn't ask you before, but I didn't have time."  He shakily replied.  I crossed my brows in confusion.  "What are you talking about?"  

He pulled out two pieces of paper and handed them to me.  "I got them on the way here."  He said.  I skimmed over the wrinkled papers.  

My eyes widened as I read the ticket.  "America?"  I exclaimed, looking up with wide eyes.  He nodded, his eyes careful and curious.  "It's the safest place right now."  He replied.  My mouth formed an o, and I just shook my head in wonder.  America?  I barely knew English, and I would be leaving everything I knew here behind, probably to never see again.  But then again, what choice did I have?  Erik was wanted, and we couldn't stay in France any longer.  

I swallowed before hesitantly nodding.  "Alright.  Okay.  I trust you."  I finally answered.  Erik smiled softly and bent down to kiss the top of my head.  I sighed.  "Angel, why don't I draw you a nice relaxing bath and then I can pack?"  I suggested sweetly.  He chuckled before helping me to my feet.  I went into the water room where a giant claw bath waited.  I drew his bath, making sure it was cold, just as he liked it.  When I was done, I gestured him inside.  He smiled.  "Thank you, Ma Petite."  He said before I smiled and left him to clean himself up.

 I grabbed all of Erik's old clothes from his old closet and stuffed them into a suitcase.  I laid out one pair of clothes for him to wear after he got out of the bath.  I began grabbing dresses and corsets and slips from my wardrobe and stuffed them into my own suitcase.  

Once I finished, I collapsed onto the bed, exhausted.  I let my eyes flutter shut, but it seems just as I drifted off to sleep, Erik bent down and swept a strand of hair from my face.  I opened my eyes to see his face, sad yet adoring.  I smiled gently, hiding my annoyance.  He sat down beside me and stroked my cheek lightly with his finger.  "My Christine."  He whispered.  I smiled and snuggled into him.  "I see you found the clothes I laid out for you."  I joked, poking his side gently.  

He chuckled and nodded.  "Yes, I did."  I rested my head on his lap and inhaled his intoxicating scent.  "I am so happy you are back."  I whispered.  He played with my hair, twirling it between his fingers.  "And I am happy as well."

"I don't know what I would have done..."  I muttered, partly to myself.  Erik lifted my wrist and examined the wound I inflicted upon myself.  he gently ran his finger across it, making me flinch.  "I'm sorry, Angel.  I went insane, I had a breakdown, I was mad!"  I defended myself, hoping he would not be angry.  He didn't respond.  He gently removed me from his lap and stood before walking out.  I bit my lip.  Was he angry?  Where was he going?

I waited for him to return, nervously.  He finally came back, bearing a bowl of water and a cloth.  He knelt down at my side and took my wrist in his hand.  He dipped the cloth into the water and gently pressed it to my wound.  A shot of pain went up my arm and I cried out.  He looked up at me, his eyes sad and disappointed.  Of course, he should be disappointed.  What I did was terrible, yet it brought me relief, if only for a moment.  

He continued until the cut was clean, and the blood had stopped.  He then kissed it gently, like I was a child.  I smiled as he looked up at me.  "All better."  I muttered, though it wasn't.  That breakdown I had was not some come and go thing.  I still felt my mind haze and my emotions swirl.  He saw that behind the look in my eyes, and did not return the fake smile.  

Erik sat down next to me, my wrist still in his hand.  He took my cheek in his hand and swiped his thumb down my jaw.  "No more of this.  You needn't do this ever again."  He ordered softly.  I nodded, tears forming in my eyes.  "I-I'm sorry."  I whispered.  He ignored my attempt at an apology.  "From now on, none of this 'anywhere you go let me go too' stuff.  If something happens to one of us, we cannot simply abandon everything we have to follow.  We have children now.  And until they are grown and safe, we have to think of them." He almost growled.  

I nodded again, but this time the tears fell freely down my cheeks.  "I am sorry, I am so sorry."  I stuttered, wrapping my arms around his neck and burying my head in his chest.  He stroked my hair and held me to him tightly.  "As long as you are alright, mon ange."