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"Not go? I don't want to hear that from you." - Soraru ;; episode 4

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It was midnight and one wasn't asleep; Mafu.

He couldn't move because Soraru's arms were wrapped around his waist. Mafu was emotionless. He didn't know if he was happy or sad. He didn't have any emotion planted in his face. But all he knows is that his heart is beating really fast and he felt quite nervous.

He tried to remove Soraru's arms around his waist but it made Mafu's situation a bit worse. Soraru pulled Mafu closer to him and snuggled him.

"Hhnn..." Soraru omitted as he nuzzled his head against Mafu's nape.

How did it end up like this?, Mafu thought. Why is he sleeping in my bed and... why is he hugging me and not letting me go? And... but... it feels so warm. If people saw us... they'd think we're a gay couple- NO! WHAT AM I THINKING?!

Mafu flinched as he suddenly sat upright as Soraru's arms let go. He looked at his best friend from behind and saw him peacefully asleep.

I know I like Sora-chan... b-but... why do I feel a bit uncomfortable?

He stood from his bed and headed to his kitchen to drink a glass of water. As he placed the glass down, a knife was across the table.

Since when did that get there?

Mafu felt startled but a bit relaxed. He took the knife and examined it for a while.

"Where...?" Mafu mumbled as he pulled the sleeves of his onesie. "Should I...? What... wh-what if... Soraru-san... f-found out?"

Mafu touched the tip of the knife as he started sliding his pointer finger against the blade.

As the blade reached his wrist, he heard someone coming. He immediately stood and returned the knife. But as he did, there stood a sleepy raven-haired male.

"Mafu?" Soraru muttered as he glared at the albino's hand. "Why are you... what are you doing?"

Mafu let go of the knife and stared at Soraru for a split second before averting his gaze.

Soraru walked closer to him and took Mafu's left hand. "There's a line in your finger," Soraru said as he checked the albino's hand. "Did you try cutting yourself?"

Mafu shook his head as he felt tears forming.

"Tell me the truth," Soraru said as he forced Mafu to look at him. "That's why I didn't leave you. I didn't want you to do these things and I didn't want you to be alone. Nor hurt."

Tears slowly ran down Mafu's cheeks as he tried holding back his tears till now.

"You attempted, right?"

"I... I only... t-tested... I w-wanted to feel... the sharpness... o-of the knife..."

"You know that's wrong, right?" Soraru asked softly as he hugged Mafu. "Did you even sleep?"

Mafu shook his head as he buried his head in Soraru's chest.

Soraru sighed as he let go of Mafu and pulled him to his room. "Why do you think I hugged you while sleeping?"

I thought... that... w-was unreasonable... so... that hug while you were asleep... h-had a reason?, Mafu thought as he watched Soraru fix Mafu's bed.

"I didn't want you to leave while I'm asleep," Soraru said. "That's why I insisted that I'll sleep beside you."

Soraru walked to Mafu and hugged him again. "S-Sora-chan..." Mafu muttered as he hugged back, which made Soraru blush.