His rough voice woke me up making me realize that I slept with my phone beside me while he was on loud speaker, the last thing I remember is that Wali sternly asked me to lay down and when I denied on ending the call he said to put the phone on the loud speaker and close my eyes though at starting I teased him and said that I am fine but his voice really helped me and put me to sleep.
"Asalam O Alikum," I replied in my obnoxious morning voice.
"Walkium As Salam," I sensed the smile behind his reply and smiled myself.
"Did you sleep? Or just heard me snoring?"
"Well at last you are admitting you snore," he teased, "and yes I did sleep and woke up half an hour ago."
"Good!" I replied yawning and sitting up, "It's Fajar?" I whispered questioning myself but got a positive reply for him. "So you are going to end the call?" I hesitantly asked and heard him sigh, a tired one.
"Khadija I am right here. Let's pray and then I'll call you back and we recite Quran together, okay?" He replied in a more stable voice.
"Okay," after thinking for couple of seconds I agreed and we both ended the call putting the phone on the bedside table I sat on the edge of the bed placing my feet on the cold marble floor.
The day was finally here, the day I was dreading has finally started. Terrifying, doesn't even begin to explain what I am feeling right now. My hands and feet are abnormally cold and it's not because of the cold weather it's because of the continuous battle happening inside me. In the past whenever I lost someone it always came as a surprise my parents, Adnaan, my child but this time I knew all about it, I knew this day was bound to come and I knew that I would be left in an agonizing pain yet I agreed, I accepted all of this and the pain which my heart had already started to feel is far more agonizing and it's tearing me apart. I don't know if by the end of this day I would be able to stand or I would fall and crumble into pieces.
The knock on my door broke the trance I was trapped in, slowly getting up I made my way towards the door to find mama standing outside. Her eyes were puffy red and a dupatta was covering her head and most of the body but still there was a faint smile on her face, a smile which forced me to smile. A mother doesn't care about what the situation is and never fails to comfort us, just by looking at her I finally felt that this time I have someone standing beside me which would not let me shatter.
"Namaz purhli?" (Have you offered namaz?) I asked once she got in and sat on the couch.
"Nahi socha tumharay sath purh lo." (No, I thought I should offer it with you.) She said with her tender smile. Getting to her I wrapped my arms around her hiding my face in the crook of her neck while she kept saying comforting words to me.
Ten minutes later I myself was done with my wuzu and wrapping my shawl around me stood beside her to offer namaz, after we both ended our farz I asked mama to make dua. Wiping the unshed tears she raised her hands and I heard her reciting Surah Fatiha followed by some other Surahs (Chapter in Quran) and duas, her voice was sweet and melodic like her son and then she started call the Almighty.
"Ya Allah, Ya Raheem, Ya Malik there is no one as merciful as you, there is no one who could love us as much as you can, Ya Rabb today I am standing in front of you as a mother, a mother who couldn't bear to lose her child, Ya Allah you had promised that your love is stronger and more powerful than the love of seventy mothers combine and only you know how much my heart is aching today, I believe there is no one as just as you, there is no one who can care for us as much as you can, my Allah today a mother is requesting you to grant her child a healthy life, Ya Allah I make you responsible of my child, Ya Allah have mercy on him, Ya Allah all of us are begging you for his life there is nothing impossible for you, just your command can make anything happen, Ya Allah grant my child a prosperous life and if this is not written in his faith, if his time with us was limited Ya Allah then I ask you to make our hearts strong, to let us accept whatever you have written for us, without a doubt he was your blessing on me, he was yours to be taken and there is no power in this world which can stop it but Allah make us strong enough to accept your will, Ya Allah don't leave us in this hard time and there is no doubt that you are the most gracious of them all, you are our protector, you are the most magnificent of them all and you know what is best for us. Ya Allah have mercy on us, Ameen."
There is always a point in our life when even we are breaking inside, we are crushing down, we know that we might lose all the battles yet we are calm and today the way mama made the dua proved it, she was breaking, she was in more pain than I could ever feel, she was the one who was most affected by what was happening yet the way she contacted Allah today shook me to the core, her voice was hoarse yet calm, it felt like she was standing alone in a battlefield asking Allah, the King of kings for his mercy, today Allah showed me the power of a mother and I know that He would not let a mother down. He would not let a mother go through a pain which she don't deserve. Today He is with us.
"Ameen." I turned to find baba and Sabih standing behind us with a weak smile, they were also included in the dua. I know these people would not let me become weak.
Soon the four of us were joined by Wali himself and now we all were in the small living room of the suite I was staying in, Sabih and I were sitting on the carpeted floor while mama and baba were on the couch and the four of us were listening to Wali recite Surah Rahmaan,Surah Yaseen and lastly Surah Taubah through the call. The entire time I had closed my eyes listening to each word as he does the recitation. There was complete silence in the room and all of us were captivated in the magic his voice held. By the time his recitation ended the sun was out and all of were not in the condition to make any conversation. Telling him that we have to get ready to be at the hospital at proper time we ended the call.
After getting ready all four of us met in the lobby and after being persuaded by baba we all went to have breakfast though it felt like if I'll eat anything I'll end up throwing but to make mama eat so she can take her medicines all of us ate or more like just drank coffee. The drive to the hospital was done in silence and soon all of us entered the hospitals, plain white walls seeming to close in all around us, some standing in a corner discussing and talking in whispers, nurses walking around with the same cold eyes and bored expressions, some celebrating a birth of new life while other mourning on the loss of another, everyone was impassive from the other. Taking a deep breath in an atmosphere filled with smell of bleach and soap, the smell which never fails to make my heart beat only with fear, I walked towards his room, baba and Sabih were ahead of us while I was taking slow steps with mama, our hands linked together providing support to each other.
The ward in which his room was, had four private rooms in total making the wide corridor completely deserted, it felt like a place which hasn't witnessed human presence in a while, as we made our way to his room, the very first one, my heart started to pick its pace, once the four of us stood in front of the door behind which he was, we heard some voices telling it must be the doctor discussing suregey with him. I saw baba taking a deep breath and unlocking the door and as the door ajar he stopped right in his track.
"Really baray abu you thought I won't find out?" and the four of us came face to face with a red face and bloodshot eyes, Yahya.
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A.O.A
Well... Okay I know surgery was supposed to be in this chapter but then I thought why not prepare all of us you know because I am making up my mind on how to crush my feelings... I mean our feelings in the next chapter. Though some of you might feel like I am dragging this story but somehow this story is close to my heart and I am trying to make it better.
I would stop blabbing now.
Next chapter might take some time but I'll try to make it up to your hopes.
And that's our Yahya. Though we barely have him in our book yet I like him the most, maybe a little less than Wali :P
Anywayss... show some love and support to the Ahmed family, comment and vote?
TC,
Zehra :)
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Lost and Found
Spiritual" And warn them of the day of intense regret, when the matter shall have been decided; and they are (now) in negligence and they do not believe." - Quran. There are very less of us who can pinpoint their own wrong deeds and even lesser who work ha...
