Lost and Found

Chapter 49

Days have turned into month and the void created inside me is still there haunting me in the dark hours when I lay awake concerning on Wali's breathing pattern or sometime his heartbeat's rhythm, they help me stay sane, in past one month I have found myself more closer to Him too, He never burdens a soul more than it can bear, I know I'll find my solace because He would never return me helpless, He is Ar-Raheem he would never do that. His mercy is also the reason why every single day Wali and I hold on to each other, every day from past one month we are mending our broken pieces, the cracks are visible but after all light seeps in from the wounds.

Putting aside the dough for the dinner I turned towards the stove where Wali's favorite capsicum filled mince were cooking, satisfied with its condition I turned off the stove and turned back to prepare bread for the dinner. Half an hour later after being done with the work I wiped a thin layer of sweat accumulated on my forehead, walking towards the living room I picked up my dupatta and placing it on my shoulder I slowly made my way towards the stairs, today I got back earlier than Wali but then again we are coming separately from past one month, he has immensely involved himself in work, he has been keeping himself busy in one way or another, though we are moving forward but we still don't have enough strength to be in front of each other like we were used to, there is something lost and the two of us are in search of it.

Getting inside our bedroom I turned on the lights and went towards bed cleaning the messed up sheets I made my way towards the closet, in dire need of a shower I picked up a turquoise colored printed kameez shalwar and then entered the washroom. Putting my fresh dress on the hangers I peeled off from my sweaty ones and went under the shower, as I traced my hands across my face I felt my eyes burning with tears like they have been every day whenever I am alone here, I keep going back to the haunting memories, taking a deep breath I scrubbed my body and then cleaning myself I wrapped my body with a light blue colored towel and walked towards the large mirror.

Shaking my head at my blank face I looked how lifeless I have been, my chapped lips, the dull eyes, my missing existence.

.فَإِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْرً. إِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا 

"So verily, with the hardship, there is relief. Verily, with the hardship, there is relief."

A lone tear escaped my eyes as Wali's voice rang in my ears, the verse he have been reciting daily, when he thinks I am not around. Biting my lips I covered my face with my hands and wiped my tears. Wiping them I turned on the tap and splashed lukewarm water on my face. Taking a deep breath I turned to change into my dress, there was still an hour for Wali's return, so quickly changing I placed the towel on the hangers and stepped out. Getting back inside the bedroom I walked towards the dressing table and opening the first drawer I picked out my sapphire pendant and earring, wearing the set I quickly applied a light pink blusher and a light pink lipstick and finally ending all with a light hint of Wali's favorite perfume. Pushing a smile on my face, I combed my wet hair leaving them open, I left them to dry.

As I got to the door of our bedroom to exit I heard the door below getting open, closing my eyes I took a deep breath and with a smile I walked towards the stairs. It broke my heart as my eyes found him tiredly walking towards the kitchen in search of me, shoulders hunched as he carried his laptop bag in one hand and his coat in another.

"Khadija?" I heard him from the kitchen as I took my last step and walked towards him. Just when I took one more step he came out with a worried frown and his phone in his hand, his tensed gesture clenched my heart but steadying my erratic heartbeat, I smiled.